Saving Bella
by mynxi
Summary: NM: Jasper finds Bella is not doing well and decides he needs to help, it's his family's fault after all. Charlie becomes the dad he's always wanted to be, to a band of vampires and Bella's strength is seen blossoming not only mentally but now she has the power to take care of herself, if she can only get it under control. AU, Human/Vamp, For 18 only, includes self-harm themes.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Well I was looking for Jasper/Bella stories and found that some of my favorites are disappearing. I know this was a favorite that disappeared and so I'm putting it back. Many of you have the PDF copy but feel free to reread it here. If you want the PDF copy send me a PM with your email in the following format, because fanfic blocks them otherwise: name**

 **Please send it in a PM and not a review, If you send it in a review anyone and everyone can see it.**

 _Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, songs, pictures, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is to be made from this fiction. This story is not to be posted or reproduced in partial or full content without written permission from the author._

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"Help us to be the always hopeful gardeners of the spirit who know that without darkness nothing comes to birth as without light nothing flowers."

\- May Sarton

 _Chapter 1:_

I ran my fingers through my shaggy blonde hair and stopped to rub the back of my neck.

Throwing my hands up in frustration I yelled, "Fuck! God Charlie, I don't even know what to say!"

I truly didn't. I was heartbroken when Alice and I broke it off but Bella, Bella wasn't just heartbroken; her soul had been ripped away, broken and tortured. She was a zombie.

' _Funny the idea of someone described as zombie-like coming from a vampire_ ', I thought to myself, but it didn't change just how true those words were.

She may not have been seeking to eat people's brains like the movie zombies, but Bella, was barely there. She was lifeless, she did everything she was supposed to, but she was on autopilot. She didn't acknowledge people unless they asked her a question directly. Her eyes were vacant, haunting, scary.

How a little human girl could look so scary to _me_ , was really a testament to how bad this situation truly was.

Charlie stared at me. Just stared. Though his face didn't let on what he was thinking, his emotions sure did. When I knocked on the door an hour ago he opened it with a smile. That smile quickly turned to a look of hatred and his feelings matched.

"Is Bella home?" I asked, in as polite of a southern accent as I could manage.

He gaped at me with incredulity. His emotions cycled rapidly from hate, to sadness, to longing, back to sadness, and then back to hate. He wanted to hate me, to be mad at me but he was so sad, it was hard for him to keep the hatred at the front.

I honestly didn't know what was wrong, though. Why would he hate me so much? Did he even know who I was? I could tell Bella was home; I could smell her and hear her heartbeat, though I couldn't feel any emotions coming from her. I quickly convinced myself that the strength of Charlie's emotions was overpowering everything else.

Charlie finally asked, feeling slightly curious and I personally think to verify if his anger was warranted, "You're one of the Cullen kids, right?"

With a nod I drawled, "Yes sir, I'm Jasper."

The anger was back full force and Charlie's face was beginning to turn purple. I decided to intervene sending him some calming feelings. Getting shot and having to explain why it didn't hurt me was not a good idea today.

I noticed that Charlie wasn't wearing his gun belt, but it was within reach, hung on a hook by the door, and he looked at it out of the corner of his eye. There was no doubt he considered it.

Once his face returned to a more normal human color, I asked again, "Is Bella in, sir? I'm in town for a few days and wanted to say 'hi'."

He didn't need to know that I came back to apologize for trying to kill his daughter. I was sure that sentiment was not going to get me in the door.

I knew she said she forgave me. She made sure to tell Alice and Carlisle that she wasn't mad. I doubted that she was angry or even afraid of me, because Bella was just that weird. But, I needed to apologize and talk to her face to face. So much had happened since her birthday four months ago. I needed to talk to her.

Charlie stared for a second longer gathering his response. He was still angry and I continued to help calm him. He was sad, so sad and I couldn't figure out what he was so sad about. Was Bella okay? I knew she was here, so was she sick? Did one of his friends die? Did something else happen? He was terribly sad.

"Yes she is here. But…I don't know if she'll want to see you…or anyone else in your _family_ ," he spat the last word out.

Okay, so he was mad at my whole family? Why wouldn't Bella want to see any of us? The confusion on my face must have made Charlie realize that I didn't understand.

He sighed and rubbed his face feeling defeated. "Come in Jasper, I suppose it's not your fault. I'll go see if she wants to come down." With that he closed the door behind me and walked upstairs.

I realized as he walked away that his shoulders were hunched over and he had appeared very tired, with large dark circles under his eyes. He moved slowly, like an old man. He even appeared to have aged a lot, though it had only been a few months since I last saw him.

Granted, I usually only saw him around town or the occasional trip to pick up Alice from Bella's. He did come to our house once, but I still didn't know him that well. Yet my eyes were better than any human and so was my memory. He aged and he had lost quite a bit of weight, something was very wrong.

What did he mean, 'I suppose it's not your fault'?

What's not my fault?

I was trying not to listen to the conversation upstairs or lack of a conversation upstairs but with my hearing that was impossible and I was simply curious about what was going on around here.

As Charlie had made it to the top of the stairs, he hesitated. His heart rate and breathing picked up ever so slightly and he began emitting fear and concern.

That had my attention.

He knocked on her door and waited. His emotions gained just a bit more force and he opened the door after a couple of seconds. It didn't escape my notice that she didn't answer and her breathing and heart rate did not change at the sudden noise, something that usually would startle someone.

I still couldn't feel her emotions. That was weird. Before I had time to think on that problem too much Charlie began speaking, "There's a boy downstairs to see you."

He knew my name but chose not to tell her. Again that seemed weird. Why didn't he tell her my name?

She didn't respond.

"Don't you want to come down and see who it is?" he asked her, trying to peak her curiosity, I guess.

Still no response.

As I waited, I noticed the house was extremely clean. It was almost sterile. I don't think there was a speck of dust on anything. That's not typical for a human household. I've been to Bella's before, although I never really noticed if it was always like this. But it was something else that just seemed odd.

I heard the bed creak in Bella's room and figured Charlie sat down with her. Why wasn't she talking to him? Was she mad at him?

I was just about ready to go up there when he spoke again.

"Bella, you have a visitor. I'm not sending him away, either you come down or I'll bring him up to see you."

Bella's heart rate spiked a little but she didn't answer. Is she sick? I sniffed the air for any signs of illness that might be present, which I could possibly notice. There was nothing but cleaners and the lush fragrance of human.

I knew my bloodlust was not an issue, but damn, I think I smelled a little too deeply, as venom pooled thickly in my mouth and I had to convulsively swallow it down, while the burn intensified.

Charlie started back downstairs. Bella had never said a word and her heart rate went back to normal. If I didn't know better, I'd say she was asleep. But Charlie never acted like he was trying to wake her.

I stared at him in anticipation as he slowly made his way down the stairs. I took note of the forlorn look in his eyes and the way his clothes looked crumpled and fit loosely on his frame. He stared mainly at the stairs while he walked. Was he ill? He didn't smell ill, from what I could tell. But I know I can't smell all kinds of illnesses or medications. Only some.

He looked up at me as he came to stop at the bottom of the stairs.

"Before I let you go up and see her, I need to ask you a few questions, son. Come sit in the living room with me for a few minutes." He was gruff with his request, but his eyes were filled with sadness and his emotions were of utter despair and longing.

What was going on? That was _my_ question, but I held my tongue to see what he wanted to know, though I had a pretty good idea at least what one of his questions would be.

I followed him to the living room and sat in the beige rocking chair while he sat kiddy corner from me on the old brown and orange flowered sofa. I decided not to say anything and just let him ask his questions. So I gazed at him patiently, ready to calm him again if he became angry. I continued to listen for Bella but there was no change.

"Why are you here?" Charlie started, but before I could answer he continued with the questions, "Is _he_ going to be stopping by, too?" he asked with a great deal of anger. "Do you have any idea what we've been through since you and your family left?!" he yelled, but trying to keep his voice down so Bella wouldn't hear.

He was turning purple again and sputtering words through his ire like-…left…no one…help…died…-Okay, _now_ he had my attention. Someone had died? I calmed him again. When he was breathing normally again, I started to answer his questions and add in some of my own.

"Sir, I just came back to take care of a few things at my parent's house and I came alone. _No one_ is with me, so _no one_ else is going to be dropping by," I stated calmly, making sure to emphasize that I was alone. I took a deep breath and asked my questions.

"What is going on, sir? Has something happened? Is Bella okay?" I asked calmly and politely. I really wanted to see her and get some answers.

He again gaped at me. Like I should know what's going on. His anger was beginning to spike and I just kept a steady flow of calm going towards him, since he was determined to be angry at me. But I needed answers. I needed to know that Bella was alright. We left her so she would live a full and happy life, but if there is something wrong then I needed to know.

He finally sighed and rubbed his face hard with the palms of his hands. "Bella," he paused "Bella has," he stopped.

He looked up at me and the anger was returning full force, despite my attempts to calm him. How was he doing that?! I've never not been able to influence someone, Never!

His face turned red and he looked, scary. Of course, I knew he couldn't hurt me but had I just been a regular teenage boy, this man would be scaring the crap out of me right now.

"It's all HIS fault!" he yelled. "He broke her heart! He left her in the woods to die! He didn't bother to write or call! He NEVER LOVED HER!" His yelling became screeching by the end of his tirade.

Then the Chief of Police started to cry. Tears flowed freely and he tried to get more words out. His anger almost completely gone was replaced with despair. "She's…dead…inside…I…can't…help…her," he choked out.

I sat stunned. My family had caused this grief? And what did he mean, 'he left her in the woods to die?' Edward wouldn't leave her in the woods, would he? I knew he didn't have any contact with her. None of us were supposed to contact her. Hell, I wasn't supposed to be here now, but I had to be.

Finally, I know that he did love her. I guess I can see why Charlie would think Edward didn't love her because he never contacted her again, but he said she was 'dead inside'? That can't be good.

That can't be good at all.

"Sir, I don't understand. What happened?" I knew I was risking enraging him and he was still sobbing on the sofa but I wanted more information. His despair was overwhelming. I was hoping maybe that would cease at least a little with my questions.

He looked up with red puffy eyes and sniffled like a little kid. He reached for a handkerchief in his back pocket and blew his nose. His eyes and emotions were haunted with the thoughts of what he was about to tell me. I admit I had become increasingly nervous and anxious to hear the story myself.

Edward never told us about his breakup with Bella. He rejoined the family in New York after we left and stayed only for a couple of weeks. He then decided to "take care of some business", we all thought he was going back to Bella but he stated he would never do that and that none of us were to go after her either. He told Alice not to look into her future or his anymore. He said he wanted to be alone. I for one was happy because he was depressing the whole family; which meant I was the most depressed vampire in the United States at that time, living with a house full of sad vampires.

Charlie composed himself and began to tell me the tale of what happened, all the while staring at the floor. "He left her in the forest, the night you and your family left. He broke up with her in the forest and left her there, lost. It began raining and we had search parties out. Finally, some kids from the reservation came to help and one of them found her. She was in the dark forest alone for 11 hours." He looked up at me. "11 hours most of it in the rain. Did you know that? That he left her in the forest?"

I wasn't sure I was supposed to answer, but after a few seconds I realized he was waiting for answer. I just didn't know what to say. I was flabbergasted.

"No sir. He didn't tell us anything about how he broke up with her. Only that he did." I was so astonished this came out just barely more than a whisper. But it was loud enough for Charlie to hear so he continued.

"She was pretty much catatonic for weeks," he was talking to the floor again, and much more quietly but I could still hear him, of course. "I was scared I was going to have to hospitalize her and I just couldn't do it. I called her mom and asked her to come and get her. I didn't want to lose my baby girl but she was already lost to me as she was." I could smell the salty tears his eyes continued to produce and he made no move to acknowledge them.

"When Renee got here, we told Bella she was going to Florida and she woke up with a vengeance. Bella has never thrown a hissy fit like she did that day. I can't say I'm sorry about it," he said, with a wry smile.

"I was happy to have her do anything, moving, talking, screaming, or yelling. It was different. She said she didn't want to leave, she threw the clothes we had packed for her all over her room and then began to cry." He wiped his tears away and hiccupped ever so slightly.

"I thought she was going to get better. She cried for a week and Renee stayed and took care of her for that week. When she stopped crying, she finally went back to school. Since she was a good student they gave her a chance to catch up. She hadn't been to school in a month by this time." He glanced up at me. I just stared intently waiting for him to continue with the fuckery that was Bella's life.

"She went to school, she quit her job at Newton's, and I didn't push the topic. Maybe I should have. She quit fixing dinner, she barely eats, and she barely sleeps." His haunted eyes fixed on my golden ones as he said his next words, "She has nightmares…daily…she screams…constantly."

Those words were like dead weights being dropped into my cold-dead heart. This was present tense not past. She still had these issues. I understood now.

 _He_ broke her.

He doesn't know he did. He thought she'd get over it like a normal teenage girl. But, when has Bella ever been normal? I was so stunned, I didn't know whether to be pissed at Edward for breaking Bella or sad for Bella and her father. I decided I needed to see Bella before I could decide.

Wait a minute.

He left her in the woods?! For 11 hours in the rain?! What the FUCK?! Okay, I'm officially pissed at that arrogant asshole. It's one thing to break up with your girlfriend; it's another to leave her stranded and lost in the woods when you break up with her. He broke up with her right after school. So from around 3pm to 2am Bella was out there.

I needed to see Bella, more so now than ever before. I wondered if Carlisle knew what he had done?

I looked to Charlie to see if he was going to continue. He was wiping the tears away from his eyes with the end of his handkerchief.

"She got caught up in school. She doesn't have any friends anymore. They quit calling, quit trying. Her teachers say that she will answer a question when asked but she doesn't volunteer any information. She always knows the right answer but her teachers would swear she's not even paying attention. They say she stares through them. They've all suggested counseling but I can't get her to go. She only agrees to go to school. She won't go to the grocery store even. When she's not at school she's in her bed staring at the ceiling.

"I don't know what she thinks about; she doesn't talk to me anymore. Renee is planning on coming back next month to see if Bella will go back to Florida with her. Bella doesn't know. Please don't tell her. I think she's waiting for _him_ to return."

I had noticed that he wouldn't say Edward's name or as I have suddenly dubbed him, Fuckward.

Charlie stood, so I followed after a second of hesitation. "I don't know what she'll do when she sees you, I'm not sure it's a good idea. But if seeing you will change something, then I'm going to let it happen. Don't, whatever you do, don't say _his_ name. She can't handle it." He gave me a stern look but didn't explain further.

I started for the stairs without a word. What the hell do you say to something like that? I gave him a nod acknowledging that I understood his warning and started slowly up the stairs.

"First door on the right," he called up as I went.

I have to admit, I was again nervous. I didn't want to make her worse. I knew Charlie was only letting me up here because he couldn't take the way things were. But that didn't mean I should be up here. I didn't know what to expect. I thought I was just coming to apologize. I still needed to do that, but it isn't going to be just for trying to kill her on her birthday anymore. No. It's for us leaving, for Fuckward leaving her in the forest.

Yeah, he's gonna lose some body parts the next time I see him! I still can't believe this. Nothing scares me but I'm scared to go into her room. I never thought Edward could be a heartless bastard but I guess I was wrong. I got to her door. Her breathing and heart rate were slow and steady.

I was half hoping she'd be asleep, so I could leave and not bother her. Maybe come back tomorrow after I've wrapped my head around all of this.

I knocked on the door. No answer. "Just go in," Charlie hollered from downstairs.

I gently grabbed the door knob and turned it. I opened the door a crack and the scent of Bella came wafting from the room. Nothing changed. She didn't acknowledge my presence.

I slowly walked into the room. I noticed this room like the rest of the house was very clean. I'm guessing it is the one other thing Bella did. Clean. Her room seemed bare though not like a normal teenage girl's room. Her walls were bare; she had a bookcase with knick-knacks on it but no books and several empty shelves. She loved to read. Yet the only books I saw in her room were her school books on her desk.

She laid on the bed with her back to me and I noticed she had lost a lot of weight. She had a good figure, before. But as I gazed at her, even her backside looked bony. I wasn't sure if I should walk around to the side she was facing, to see if she was awake or call her name.

I chose the latter. "Bella?" I called softly. I really didn't want to wake her.

There was no response so I decided I would check to see if her eyes were open or closed. I cautiously walked around the foot of the bed to the other side. She was awake. Her flat brown eyes bore right through me. I remembered earlier and realized at that moment that I couldn't feel any emotions from her. I stood silently in her room feeling for them and her eyes locked with mine.

Those eyes told the same story Charlie had. She was broken. Her soul was broken, not just her heart. It was heart breaking to see the lack of shine in her eyes. Her face was sallow with her skin taught over her cheekbones and deep purple circles under her eyes. Her hair was flat and dull just like her eyes; no shine. Her skin looked dry, pale, and even papery. She was too thin. Bones poked out from everywhere.

She looked more dead than alive.

Other than her staring at me, she hadn't acknowledged me. We stared at each other for about a minute before I tried again.

"Bella?"

She just continued to stare at me. I got the feeling that maybe she wasn't sure if I was real. I had decided to try talking to her.

"Bella? It's me Jasper. I'm here. I'm here alone." I figured I better let her know she wasn't going to see anyone else. Her heart rate and breathing began to increase. I continued to talk to her, trying to get a response. Charlie said she would answer if asked a question directly. Though she never spoke to him when he told her I was here.

"Bella? How are you doin', darlin'? I'm in town for a few days and wondered if you wanted to hang out?" I let my southern accent take over. Usually the ladies enjoyed it.

She was almost panting, her heart was racing, and she just stared at me silently. I wasn't sure if I should try to calm her down before she started hyperventilating or not. I decided to wait a minute. I wasn't sure it would work anyway since I couldn't feel anything from her. That was unnerving to say the least.

"Bella, your dad told me what happened. I'm so sorry, darlin'! We had no idea. Edward asked us-"

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" she screamed bloody murder and wrapped her arms around her chest. She shuffled back towards the headboard hastily and began rocking herself. She stared straight ahead seeing nothing. Charlie raced into the room to check on her.

"He's gone, he's gone, he's gone, he's gone, he's gone…" she whispered repeatedly.

"What happened? What happened?" he asked frantic and enraged. He glared at me and I was sure at that moment if looks could kill a vampire, I'd be six feet under. He sat on the bed and wrapped his arms around Bella. She pulled away from him and began rocking faster, while continuing her mantra.

I looked on stunned with wide eyes as the once beautiful creature had been reduced to a shell of a human being.

"What happened?" Charlie growled at me.

"I was trying to talk to her. To get her to acknowledge me. I told her that you told me what happened. I tried to explain that E-" Charlie narrowed his eyes at me, I stopped, and at that moment I realized what I had done. I said _his_ name. OH SHIT! Charlie had said she couldn't handle it. How could I be so stupid!?

"Oh," was all I could say quietly with realization.

"Please wait for me downstairs?" Charlie asked, through gritted teeth.

I nodded and made my way downstairs. Oh My God! What happened here? I am going to kill Fuckward! He better hope Alice checks his future, because he isn't going to have one for much longer. This was not breaking up with someone, this was breaking someone. What did he do? This isn't normal! Alice and I broke up after nearly a half a century together. We had thought we were soul mates and neither of us went through this heartbreak!

Sure we were both hurt but we realized it just wasn't working between us. It was mutual and she cried, I stayed strong and held her while she dry sobbed for a day. But Bella, she was catatonic for a month and cried for a week! She looks more dead than alive. She doesn't talk, eat, or sleep. She's barely human.

I made my way back to the chair in the living room where Charlie and I last talked. I listened while he was upstairs trying to sooth her and she continued to repeat 'he's gone'. I felt so guilty that I caused her more pain. I shouldn't have come. I shouldn't have said anything. I should have just left when she didn't answer after I called her name. But I didn't. I made things worse. And despite the fear and sadness in her eyes when I said his name, I still felt nothing from her.

I was able to feel her emotions before. What did that mean? Was she truly dead on the inside? Was she blocking me? If so, how? Was this related to the same reason Fuckward couldn't read her mind? I thought about calling Carlisle to ask. They knew I was on a vacation. They don't know where I was going, though. But they also didn't know about Bella. And I thought they needed to know.

Charlie came down about five minutes later. I listened and Bella was still chanting 'he's gone' but her heart rate and breathing had slowed. Charlie came into the living room glaring at me. His anger wasn't as bad as when I got here, but it was definitely directed at me this time, and not just because I was a Cullen. I fucked up, bad.

"Well?" Charlie growled.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

I knew I fucked up. What do I tell Charlie? 'Sorry, I just said Fuckward's name and caused your daughter to have some sort of weird PTSD flashback?' No. How about, 'Sorry, I tried to kill your daughter on her birthday which caused the string of events that led to her being this way.' No. I shook my head trying to clear it of the image of Bella upstairs hollow looking, chanting 'he's gone'. Fuckward pulled a number on her and now he's not even here to clean it up!

I ran my fingers through my shaggy blonde hair and stopped to rub the back of my neck.

Throwing my hands up in frustration I yelled, "Fuck! God Charlie, I don't even know what to say!"

"Charlie, I'm sorry. I will _never_ say _his_ name again! It was accident earlier. I know you said she couldn't handle it. I'm sorry. I was just trying to explain to her that we didn't know what _he_ did to her." I sighed heavily as Charlie emanated sadness and anger. This seems to be his constant at least when I'm around. I knew I needed to make this right, for Bella.

Bella did not deserve to be the shell of a human she had become. Knowing she'd been that way for four months was gut wrenching. They couldn't even call us; Fuckward made sure we all changed our numbers. Alice really never looked for Bella. If she had, she would have seen this. We could have helped.

I couldn't believe what I had done. This was entirely my fault. I looked up at Charlie. He continued to stare at the floor, silent tears running down his face. He was almost as bad as she was. The only true difference was he was verbal and responsive. They both needed sleep and they both needed to eat.

Bella especially needed both.

I can help. I will help. I have to help.

"Charlie, I know you are mad for what I have caused today and I don't blame you. I…I just made a mistake but I would like to try to help. I would like to come back in the morning. Since it's Saturday and there is no school, I would like to try to spend the day with Bella. Even if all I can do is sit in the room with her and talk at her." I felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders.

I knew I was going to have to call Carlisle tonight and let him know where I was and what was going on. They may not be happy about it but I needed some advice on how to help Bella. I sighed heavily and rubbed my knees as though my palms were sweaty. I looked up to Charlie, his emotions had shifted to curiosity and longing. The sadness was still there and so was the anger but I could tell he was debating it.

He finally nodded, seemingly more to himself than me. "Son, this isn't your fault. You're a young man related to the bastard that broke my daughter. You don't owe us anything. All that I ask is that you make sure that _he_ does not ever come around here again. I maybe the Chief of Police but I don't guarantee _his_ safety in this town." His anger returned and the fire in his eyes showed that he meant business.

Of course I'm not going to tell Charlie that he couldn't hurt my _ex-brother_. But right about now I wish he could.

I nodded, I knew he wasn't going to want my help but I have to help. "Sir, this is my asshole brother's fault, I can see that. We didn' know he left her in the woods. We didn' know she was like this. But I do know that I wanna help her. She was a part of my family for almost a year. We all cared about her and her well-bein' not just _him_. Please let me come by tomorrow? If things get worse again or there is no change by the end of the day, I won' bother none of y'all anymore. But please, lemme try?" I put as much Southern accent as I could into that request and sent him a bit of my sincerity so he could feel that there was no question how much I really wanted to do this.

He continued to stare at the floor but this time he nodded and spoke quickly, "I can see this means a lot to you, and frankly I don't know what else to do. I try not to get in her way. I try to get her to eat something at least once a day. I try to get her to talk to me at least once a day." The tears began to come more freely and his voice strained to finish. "I'm watching my daughter starve to death, silently. I suppose if you can help at all, then I will allow you come over tomorrow but if I tell you to leave you will do so without argument. I can't have her getting any worse."

Worse?

How can she get worse? He's seen her worse. That first week she didn't get out of bed.

I nodded and stood. I had to get out of this house. I needed to think. I needed to call Carlisle. "Sir, I will be here at 9 a.m. and plan to stay the whole day. If I can get her to go out with me, is that acceptable?" I waited; I felt fear overtake the sadness briefly. It subsided before he spoke. Did he think I would hurt her? Leave her in the forest like _he_ did? Why was he afraid?

"9 a.m. is fine. You can take her out if she is willing to go. But don't get your hopes up. She only leaves the house to go to school. And whatever you do, do not take her into the woods! I'm sure you can understand why. The others aren't coming back are they?" he asked, his last question with a hint of fear.

So that's what he was afraid of. If they all come back, would _he_ and would their presence hurt her more.

"No sir, no one is comin' back at this time, although I would like to call my Dad and tell him what has happened here. If he decides to come for a visit would that be okay with you? I can guarantee they won't be bringing _him_ with them if they do come. _He_ is in Europe at school." I honestly have no idea where Fuckward was but I knew Charlie needed a reason why _he_ wouldn't come back with the rest of the family.

"Well it must be nice that _he_ can just travel around the world while my baby wastes away!" he sneered.

I can't even blame him. Who knows what _he_ was doing or where _he_ was. I doubt _he_ was having the time of _his_ life though. At this point, I hoped _he_ was more miserable than Bella. But I doubted it. She was literally dying. _He_ couldn't die again. But I sure as hell could _kill him_!

I didn't know what to say to his last statement so I went with, "I'm sorry, sir. I'll see you both tomorrow. I promise to do everything I can to make this better."

With that I headed for the door, I took one last note of the two people in this house. One filled with anger and sorrow, and other I couldn't feel but I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was broken.

Bella had quieted down but I could hear the slight creak of the bed as she continued to rock herself. I sighed to myself. I had to fix this. It was my fault after all.

Charlie followed me silently and shut the door behind me. I got in my truck, a brand new black Toyota Tundra, because Toyota makes the most reliable stuff nowadays. I sat there for a couple of minutes listening to the house. Charlie went back up to talk to Bella but she ignored him. With a heavy heart I backed out of the driveway and headed for the Cullen home.

I spoke with Carlisle; he was just as stunned as I was. He promised not to tell Fuckward and I can tell that he did not appreciate me calling him that. But he really had no idea what had happened to this precious soul. I told him she wasn't eating, sleeping, or even responding to people for the most part. He suggested I ask her if she wanted to work on homework. This might be an in, since it was the only thing she did. The other option was helping her clean.

I asked Carlisle if he thought I could bring her somewhere but we weren't sure what would be good for her. I finally decided on a bookstore. Hopefully, she'd let me buy her something that would make her happy. Alice always liked it when I bought her stuff, but I knew Bella didn't care for gifts. I'll just have to see what tomorrow brings. I felt so helpless. It's not a feeling I'm accustomed to and not one I particularly cared for.

In the meantime, while I spoke with Carlisle I had made a decision. One I didn't tell him about. I was going back tonight. I was going to help Bella sleep. Maybe that alone could begin the healing for her. A good night's sleep. I don't know why I didn't want to tell Carlisle. He'd probably agree it was almost necessary, but I somehow couldn't help but feel it was a little weird. I was planning on sneaking into her room in the middle of the night, like Fuckward used to. Only I had a real purpose and it wasn't stalking Bella; it was helping her.

I continued to think about how to talk to her in the morning as I made my way through the forest back to her house. The house was quiet, the lights were off, and it was almost midnight. I figured they should both be asleep. I guess I should help Charlie sleep too. He looked like he could use it almost as much as Bella.

I climbed the tree outside her window to check on her. It was dark in the room but I could see that her back was to me, her breathing was heavy and her heart was slow and steady. I figured she must be asleep. Then I felt it, her emotions. I could feel her when she was asleep? And Oh God! Did I not want to! Despair, sadness, fear, it was strong; so strong I had to tighten my grip on the tree, while I tried to gain control of myself in an effort to help her.

Before I could make another move, while I sat in the tree emotionally stunned, the feelings became more intense. Dear God! How can one person feel all of this and live!? A part of my brain answered that question for me. 'They can't, she's not living, she's barely existing.'

Her heart rate picked up and breathing began to increase. A nightmare. Charlie said they were bad. I still didn't have control. I couldn't help her. I wanted to help her. But I couldn't bring my own emotions together, all I could feel was her, and it was crippling. I've fought in wars and never felt emotions like this coming off _groups_ of people, let alone an individual!

"Fuck," I muttered. I just couldn't believe this!

Then it started to get worse. Worse? SHIT!

"NNNNOOOOOO! PPLLEAASSSEEE NOOOOO!" Bella screamed and sat straight up in bed and began crying, bawling, and I couldn't feel her anymore. The relief was instantaneous when she controlled her emotions. I don't know if she even knew she was doing it. She surely didn't know I was here.

Charlie was awake now too but he didn't come to check on her. He rolled over in his bed and sighed. He mumbled something but I couldn't make it out. His heart was racing from being startled awake but it was slowing quickly. He never got out of bed. He didn't check on her?

No wonder he looks like he needs sleep this is a nightly occurrence. I knew he said it was but there's nothing like seeing it and certainly nothing like feeling it. Bella laid there crying and I got as close as I could to the window. I sent her as much calmness and lethargy as I could muster. I knocked her out.

When I was sure she was out and that I was in control being able to suppress her overwhelming emotions, I moved to open the window. It squeaked but I wasn't worried. I opened her bedroom door and sent Charlie the same thing. I sat on the floor between the two rooms. Making sure they were both relaxed and sleeping for the rest of the night. I was glad I could give them something. Bella was so unconscious she never had another nightmare that night and Charlie slept evenly through the night as well. I learned great control at keeping Bella's emotions at bay; if I couldn't tame them I couldn't help her.

I didn't know if Charlie had to work he didn't mention it when I asked if I could come over today, so when dawn began to break over the horizon I unwillingly left the Swan residence. I made sure they were both still asleep and exited right out the front door. No need to jump out windows when I knew everyone was asleep and had no chance to wake up and find me.

I went home, changed, and waited a few hours. I hoped that Bella didn't have any nightmares after I left. I tried to keep her as sedated as possible. I sat there for hours wondering what I could have done differently. It was my fault. I attacked Bella and because of that Fuckward felt the need to leave her. He said he didn't blame me that it could have been any of us. I know they always worried about my control though.

It wasn't my control that was the problem. The problem was dealing with the thirst emitted by six other vampires in the room at the same time.

I looked at my cell phone and it was ten minutes till 9:00 a.m. I needed to go. I made my way to my truck and over to Bella's.

I hoped that when I got there everyone would be fine and things would be normal. Of course, I knew that was not going to be the case and I was honestly scared. I was scared I was going to make her worse. I was scared I was going to upset Charlie again. I was scared I wasn't going to be able to fix this. Maybe I should have called Alice. She could look and see what would work and what wouldn't. As I was standing outside the front door debating this, it opened.

I hadn't knocked but I guessed that Charlie heard my truck as I pulled in. Only it wasn't Charlie that answered the door. It was Bella. She stood there staring through me again. I knew she saw me but she barely acknowledged me. The circles under her eyes weren't as deep so I knew the sleep helped her. But she still looked vacant. She didn't say anything but backed away from the door to let me in.

I stepped around her noticing that I was again unable to feel any of her emotions. She really was dead inside when she was awake and the pain took her over in her sleep. Charlie was in the kitchen frying up some eggs and hollered, "Good Morning!" from the kitchen. He almost sounded chipper. I attributed it to his good night's sleep.

I sighed to myself at least that seemed to have helped. Bella looked at me for a second, well through me, while she closed the front door. She walked back to the living room and grabbed a rag where she began to wipe the spotless mantel down including the knick-knacks and pictures that adorned it.

I hollered, "Good Morning!" back at Charlie and followed Bella into the living room.

She didn't even act like I was there. Well 'here goes nothing', I thought wryly to myself.

"Morning Bella, how'd did you sleep?"

She paused after I finished my question. She seemed to think about the answer but never turned to face me.

"Better," she whispered.

I was so excited I got a response I almost did a dance in the middle the Swan's living room. Her voice was crackly due to lack of use, even in her whisper I could hear the effort it took for her to speak. But she answered. She acknowledged me and she answered!

"Breakfast!" Charlie hollered, from the kitchen. "Come on Bella, Jasper."

Bella continued to clean for a few more seconds before she sighed heavily and put the rag down. She went to the kitchen and sat in a chair across from Charlie. She didn't look at anyone and she didn't say anything. Charlie turned to me as I followed her in the room.

"Breakfast, Jasper?" he asked.

I knew I had two choices. One, I ate at home and no thank you, or two, sit and eat the repulsive food. I knew as soon as I thought about it what I was going to say.

"Are you sure you have enough, Charlie? I ate some toast at home but those eggs sure smell good."

It worked. Bella glanced over at me. I was going to eat for her. I was going to eat to get her to acknowledge me. And I was going to hate every second of it! But it would be worth it, because that glance was _at_ me, not _through_ me.

"Sure we have enough. I wasn't sure if you had food at the house so I made extra," Charlie stated, proud of himself. Some of the anger and sadness that he was projecting last night was gone. It was replaced by a little bit of hope.

Hope.

Charlie served Bella a very small portion. I'm sure humans are supposed to eat more than that at a meal. It was just eggs and toast after all. He then served me a portion 3x the size of Bella's. Finally, he served himself a portion just slightly smaller than mine and he still had another serving left over. I glanced at Bella. She sighed and grabbed her fork.

She studied her food and I watched her for a moment. She was so skinny. How could I get her to eat? An idea came to mind but I don't know if it'll work. I obviously had the food in front of me and I was going to eat it but I didn't want to if I could help it.

"Bella, is there something wrong with the food I should know about?" I asked in a joking tone.

Charlie glanced at me but began to eat his own food without a word. Bella quit picking at her food and looked up at me. Score! Another direct look. She eyed me and my plate for a second. I held the fork in my hand and hesitated above the eggs. I raised my eyebrow in question at her and looked back at my plate.

There was a spark in her eyes. If I hadn't been a vampire I surely would have missed it, it was so brief. She still gave off no emotions and had no expression on her face but she answered only slightly louder than her answer earlier.

"They're good, try them."

I looked at her with amusement. She was daring me. Two can play at that game.

"Darlin', how do you know they're good? You haven' tried them yourself. I dunno if I trust your judgment." I made sure to up my southern accent and amusement. I gave her a challenge. I was only going to eat if she was. I could tell she wanted to see me eat.

She looked back down at her plate expressionless but scooped up a hunk of egg and brought it to her mouth. I watched her wrap her pale pink lips around the fork and slide it out. I doubt that was supposed to be erotic but I couldn't help feeling a bit lustful watching it. I immediately felt bad for thinking anything like that about Bella, especially in her current condition, but I mirrored her action.

I scooped up the egg and ate it just a second after she returned her fork to her plate. Now she was watching me. It was eerie to have those dead eyes stare at me but at least they were no longer looking through me. She scooped up another bite silently and I followed. We watched each other bite after bite.

Charlie may as well not have been in the same room. He never said a word. I could feel his curiosity and even happiness as Bella and I ate, bite for bite, together. It was a silent dare and I gladly accepted it.

When the eggs on her plate were finished and I still had almost a full plate I never took my eyes off of her as I brought my plate over and scooped half of it into her plate. She saw me do it out of her peripheral vision but she didn't say anything. She returned to eating. Charlie was confused, happy, angry, and sad. He was a veritable buffet of emotion. I was glad they weren't all negative.

Bella did not finish her plate of eggs and I stopped when she did. Charlie never said a word. When we were done Bella stood up and took her plate to the sink and ran her eggs down the disposal. I walked up behind her with my plate and she turned and took it from me without saying anything or even looking at me. Charlie watched us and then brought his own plate over. She did the same for him. He was surprised when she grabbed his plate. So I assume this was a new action for her.

I looked over at Charlie and he smiled a genuine smile at me and nodded his head in approval. He left the room silently and went upstairs. Bella rinsed the dishes and left them in the sink. She turned around and looked at me. Her haunted eyes bore deep into my soul and I felt almost naked under their glare. She was looking for something, but I didn't know what.

"Bella, would ya like me to help ya with them dishes?" I drawled out, looking to the sink.

She continued to just stare at me. As if I hadn't spoken. So trying to guess what was going on in her head, I tried answering the unasked question. Not sure if it was what she was thinking or not.

"Yes…the eggs were disgustin'. They'll be even worse when I bring 'em back up later." I still made sure my accent was heavy and my voice laced with humor.

Another flash in her eyes, this one more pronounced. This one anyone would have seen. She was coming to life, slowly but surely. There was something else in her eyes. I saw it, I think. A longing? Maybe but I couldn't be sure. She was still so lifeless. All I wanted to do was hug her and make it all go away. I stepped towards her our chests almost touching. She pulled her head back to look at my face but still had no emotion, no expression.

Slowly, I reached my right hand out to her arm. I really didn't want to upset her again. She pulled away from Charlie last night. I couldn't handle it if she pulled away from me too. I already felt so bad she was in this situation. I touched her arm softly and she made no move to get away so I mirrored the action with my left arm. I gently rubbed her arms up and down a couple of times and she continued to just stare at me.

I figured I better ask her before I did anything else. I didn't want her to pull away. I wanted to help her. I needed her to know I was there for her. "Bella, darlin' can I give you a hug?" I waited with bated breath for an answer. She just stared at me.

About a minute passed and I continued to rub her arms gently she finally walked towards me and put her arms around my waist her head on my chest. I sighed and enveloped her in my steel arms. She began to cry. I didn't know if this was a good thing or not. She wasn't bawling like she did last night but she was crying.

I shushed her while whispering, "I'm here. You're okay. Everything's going to be okay, darlin'." I whispered it over and over, while I waited for her to get herself together. I was going to calm her but thought maybe she needed this. If it went on too long, then I would calm her down. For now, I was willing to let her work through it.

She held on to me for dear life. If I was a life preserver, she was damn sure going to be saved by me. And I would willingly save her. As I held her, my thoughts circled around the fact that in less than 24 hours I've helped her get a good night's sleep and eat a decent meal.

I knew I was going to save Bella.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I stood there for almost 20 minutes holding her. When Charlie came back downstairs he took in the sight at the sink and immediately got angry.

"What is going on?! What did you do to her?" he nearly yelled at me.

Bella looked up from my chest at me, then at Charlie. She sniffled and pulled back away from my arms slowly. I let go unwillingly. When she was in my arms I knew she was safe. I knew she was working through her thoughts. I knew she was fragile on so many levels and I didn't want to let her go.

"Sir…" I started, but Bella cut in and I let her take the lead.

"Char-Dad, I gave him a hug and I was sad, so I was crying. I'm okay now though." Her voice was even, monotone, dead. She sniffled and reached for the tissue next to the refrigerator on the counter. She blew her nose and turned back towards the sink turning the water on. She didn't explain further and he didn't question it more.

Charlie looked at me with a pained expression. His emotions were all over but he added guilt to the mixture. I assumed that was for his outburst. I nodded my head in agreement with her statement but chose to stay quiet.

"Bella, I have to go to the office for a couple of hours, will you two be okay while I'm gone?" he asked, sounding almost like he wanted to cry. I turned towards Bella and when she looked back at Charlie, it was back, her haunted dazed look. She looked through him and nodded her head once. She didn't say anything or acknowledge me. She had shut back down. That little door that I had opened just snapped shut.

I sighed internally and returned the pained expression to Charlie.

"Can I see you in the garage a minute, son?" he asked, sounding defeated. I nodded my head.

I placed a light hand on Bella's shoulder and whispered with my southern accent and cool breath right in her ear, "I'll be back in a moment, darlin'." She didn't acknowledge me, but she shivered just slightly. I was happy to get any reaction out of her and filed that shiver away.

Charlie gave a small smile as he led the way out to the garage. He grabbed his jacket and gun belt from by the front door and continued into the garage. He set the stuff on the hood of his cruiser and looked at me with beseeching eyes. His emotions said he had hope, fear, anger, and sadness. It all made perfect sense to me. She was his baby.

I waited silently while he stared down for a moment at the items on his hood. He finally sighed and turned around but he continued to look at the ground when he spoke. He was speaking quietly, probably so she wouldn't overhear, but also because he was just that tired.

"Look son, I'm sorry I yelled back there. I just saw her crying and remembered last night when you said _his_ name. I know she cries a lot though, typically at night. She slept pretty good last night. I only heard her scream in her sleep once. I slept well too. For once. I'm glad; to be honest we both needed it."

He glanced up at me. I continued to watch him without saying a word wondering where he was going with this.

"Look, Jasper, you have gotten more out of her in the last hour than I have in weeks. I can't say I'm happy that you get her to respond but its change and this change is good. She ate. She needs to eat. The doctors are talking about hospitalizing her if she loses any more weight and putting a feeding tube in. I don't know how you got her to do that but, _thank you_." Charlie looked me in the eye when he said thank you and I could feel his gratitude. He was truly glad that Bella had eaten her plate of eggs.

I can't say I was as happy about having to eat it myself, but he didn't need to know that.

"I am going to go out for a while. I really don't have to go to the office but I need to get out and you seem to be doing well with her. How long are you going to stay? I don't like to leave her alone much. I'm afraid she'll hurt herself. She hasn't yet, but she doesn't eat and that's one way she's hurting herself already." He went back to looking at the floor and I figured it was my turn to talk.

"I'll stay as long as she'll let me, sir. Until after dinner, maybe? I'd like to try to get her to eat again?" I questioned if that was okay, wondering silently if I could get her to eat again. He nodded.

"I think I'll have dinner at the Diner tonight. Can you make her dinner or try to get her to make dinner for you both? There's a lot of fish in the freezer out here." He pointed to a freezer in the corner of the garage.

I nodded my head. "Yes sir, I'm sure we can come up with something. Do you have a cell number in case I need to reach you?" I asked, as I pulled my cell from my pocket. He recited his number and I programmed it into the phone. I figured I might as well tell Charlie of my plans while we were talking.

"Charlie, do you think it would be okay if I took Bella to the bookstore in Port Angeles? If she agrees that is." I asked, with as much concern and excitement as I could. I thought an outing might be good for Bella. He gaped at me. I really thought maybe I had grown a third arm or a second head the way he was looking at me.

"Ummm…if she'll agree to go?" he answered in the form of a question. He was skeptical of that idea. But that was okay I wanted to try anyway.

I decided to tack on, "Maybe I could take her out for dinner while we are out, again, only if she agrees."

He just nodded dumbly at me grabbed his gun belt and walked over to put it on the tool chest in the corner opposite the cooler.

Oh yeah, he wasn't going to work, he didn't need it. He was leaving me alone to try to help Bella. My thoughts floated back to breakfast. I still had the eggs in my stomach as uncomfortable as that was I could not forget the sight of her little mouth as she put forkful after forkful of eggs between her soft pink lips. I shook my head. I looked to see Charlie putting his jacket on and getting into the cruiser.

"Have a good day and please be careful. Please don't hurt her. Call me if you need to… Oh can I have your number too, Jasper?" he emphasized the question.

I nodded, pulled out my phone and called his number. His pocket rang and I hung up. "There it should show on your incoming calls." He nodded again and without another word closed the car door and started the car.

I went back in to find Bella. She was just finishing the dishes.

I was surprised Charlie didn't say anything about the hug or when I whispered in her ear. I don't think he could. That's what he meant when he said, 'I can't say I'm happy that you get her to respond but its change and this change is good'. He didn't want to rock the boat if I was getting anything from her. He was happy to have change.

On the other hand, I was worried it wasn't enough. It wasn't going to last.

She put the last plate in the drying rack and turned to me. She looked through me again. Her wall was back up. I needed to at least get her to look at me and not through me again. I glanced around the kitchen. She had cleaned everything up.

"So Bella, what would you like to do today?" I asked with excitement, like I was talking to just a regular person and not the zombie before me. She stayed still looking through my chest. I waited. For three minutes I waited, when it became painfully obvious that she wasn't going to say anything I tried for humor again.

"Umm…so those eggs aren't sitting too well with me, do you think I could use your bathroom?" I said with a grin rubbing my stomach. I tried to project some humor to her but I couldn't tell if she could feel it or not.

Her eyes looked up to mine. Thank God! She looked at me. "Bathroom is the second door on the left that way." She pointed down the hall. She wasn't laughing, she was still monotone but she responded. So I went to take care of my breakfast problem. I knew if I was going to eat dinner with her I needed to take care of this soon, as unpleasant as it was.

When I returned a few minutes later she was nowhere to be seen but my ears and nose told me she was in her room. I went upstairs and knocked on her door. No response. "Bella? Are you decent?" I asked. I wasn't going to walk into her room without an invitation if I could help it.

She mumbled a "yes", had I been human I wouldn't have heard it but I understood her, and she knew I would. I entered and went right over and sat down on the bed next to her. She glanced at me but said nothing.

I tried again, "What do y'all wanna to do today, Bella?" Making sure the southern drawl was in full force just to try to get a reaction. She ignored me again, staring straight ahead, through the wall.

I figured I needed to try something different. I leaned in towards her. I didn't touch her but came so close I could feel the heat from her skin.

I whispered in her ear again, "Bella, would you like to accompany me to Port Angeles today?" I made sure my cool breath tickled the shell of her ear.

I smiled as I saw her shiver. I didn't know what that made her feel since she was closed off to me. That was becoming increasingly annoying also, but I just wanted her to break out of this trance-like state she was in. She didn't say anything right away and her face was void of expression.

I waited again. But I did not pull back. I matched my breathing with hers and made sure each exhale brushed across the shell of her ear. She shivered a couple more times but we both stayed silent. I was finding this position wasn't that difficult despite the fact that her jugular was only inches from my mouth. I focused on her breathing and not on the sound of her heart beating, pumping the lush fragrant blood through her veins.

I needed to stay focused. I wanted to lick her ear, taste her skin, the longer I looked at it but I stayed motionless. Wondering what she would do if I did lick her ear. She was after all a beautiful girl. Woman. She's a beautiful woman. Even though she was very sickly looking, she was still beautiful. Underneath it all though, I knew there was a bright, vibrant young woman in there and I was going to save her. But first I had to find her. She was locked away tight and she was stubborn.

As I contemplated how tasty and warm Bella's skin would feel in a non-food kind of way she finally answered with a simple, "No."

My heart sank just a little. Then I realized maybe she would change her mind if she knew what we were going to do in Port Angeles.

I pulled back and tried to look her in the eye. She stared straight ahead never looking at me. I grabbed her warm delicate chin gently between my cold steel fingers and turned her head to look at me. She tried to resist a little but I was having none of that. With only inches separating our faces I asked her again.

"Bella, darlin', I'm goin' to the bookstore in Port Angeles an' I'd like for ya to come with me. I'd also like to take ya out to dinner while we're there. Nothin' fancy maybe Sam's Chinese place? Your Dad said he wouldn' be back in time for dinner so I should make you fish or see if you'd like to make it yourself.

Which would ya prefer? Port Angeles with me or fish at home?" I tried to make my request sound as sexy as possible with my southern accent coming through strong, though I'm not sure why?

I didn't want her to be attracted to me, did I? What was I thinking? I just wanted her to be better. I wanted her to go out and have fun, smile. I wanted to save her from the darkness that she had fallen in. I knew Alice and I broke up months ago and I shouldn't be hitting on Bella. She's obviously not over Fuckward. Obviously! The last thing she needed was me complicating that mess for her more. Still, I had to admit to myself I liked the idea of dating Bella. Maybe one day. Definitely not today!

I was still holding her chin and looking into her eyes waiting for an answer as I argued with myself over the way I just asked her to go to Port Angeles with me. She finally closed her eyes to get away. Her body slumped just a little but she didn't fight my grip and I didn't let her go. I waited. Being a vampire made it easy to sit motionless for long periods of time. I knew I could wait her out. And I would.

'I can be just as stubborn, woman,' I thought to myself with an internal smirk.

She sighed, "I can't, Jasper." She never moved, never opened her eyes, never let me know what she was feeling. I wondered if she knew she was keeping her emotions from me. One way to find out. Change the topic.

"Bella, do you know I can't feel your emotions anymore? I haven't been able to feel them since I came back yesterday."

No need to tell her I could feel them in her sleep. I didn't want her to know I was in her home like Fuckward used to be. I should have known. She was too smart for her own good. Maybe she could read my mind. Fuckward, I shook my head.

Her eyes still closed, voice still without inflection she started talking. "Jasper, I know you came last night. I know you helped me sleep… Thank you… I'm sorry you had to feel that, hear that. I'm glad that you can't feel me now. No one should have to feel this but me. It's my pain, my problem. You can go back to your _family,_ " her voice broke on the last word. I realized it wasn't just Fuckward that left her; it affected her that we all left. We all left without saying goodbye.

I have to fix this! It's my fault! Oh God this is my fault! Her life is in ruins because of me!

I didn't know what to say other than I'm not leaving. "Bella, I'm not leavin'. Not until you're better, sweetheart. I can't stand the thought of you livin' like this".

Can't say I expected what happened next.

She jumped back from my grasp. She fell on the floor and scrambled to her feet. I stood there looking at her wondering what caused that reaction. Fire flashed in her eyes. She bore a hole straight into my eyes as she began to yell, "LIVING LIKE THIS? WHAT THE HELL, JASPER? YOU COME BACK TO MY LIFE AND THINK YOU ARE JUST GOING TO MAKE EVERYTHING BETTER!? WELL FUCK OFF!" I stared at her in shock. I wasn't sure that her yelling was a good thing. I still couldn't feel her but obviously she was enraged.

I did think I was going to make everything better. I was going to help her. I had to help her. She didn't want my help?

"Bella, I'm sorry. I jus' came back to Forks to apologize. It's my fault all of this happened. I know you said you didn' blame me when it happened. Do ya still feel that way? Because that was before you became one of the livin' dead." I blanched as soon as I said that last sentence. I knew what she was going to think, what she would say and that statement was not going to reduce her anger any.

She was vibrating with anger. She was turning a brilliant shade of red. I couldn't even bring myself to calm her down. I deserved everything she was going to unleash on me. But, I still couldn't feel her emotions. I didn't need to; they were written all over her face.

Again Bella shocked me, this time as she fainted.

I caught her before she hit the floor. Her emotions opened to me as soon as she was in my arms. And as soon as I felt the wave of despair from her I started to calm her. I knew if I didn't take control she was going to bring me down with her emotional overload, and I needed to stay strong, for her. I wasn't sure why she fainted. She was red but she hadn't stopped breathing, she didn't hyperventilate, her heart was racing but not uncontrollably. Did she literally faint because her mind couldn't take it?

I called Carlisle while I kept her asleep. Her breathing and heart rate had evened out.

"Hello, Jasper? How is she?" Carlisle asked, as he answered the phone. I guess I'll just get it over with.

I told Carlisle everything that had happened this morning with the eggs, the hug, and up until the time Bella fainted. He agreed that her mind just shut down. She escaped from the pain the only way she knew how.

We made a decision. I was getting her out of this house, it may force her to talk to me, and it was going to be against her will. She needed to be angry, she needed to feel something. I loaded her into my truck and put her seat belt on. I returned to the house where I found a pair of tennis shoes by the door, her winter coat and purse hanging on the coat hooks.

I put her stuff in my truck and climbed in behind the wheel. I made sure she was asleep until we were more than half way to Port Angeles. If she really freaked out on me I'd bring her home but I was going to do my best to force her to do something today.

I sent her some excitement to help wake her up. She stirred. Her emotions shifted and hit me like a tidal wave sadness, hurt, anger. They were so strong. I had to pull over on the side of the road. I was glad I could still feel her though. But it was intense. I continued to try to keep her calm and wake her up. I put my hand on her shoulder and shook it. "Bella, Bella, wake up darlin'."

She stirred she looked around at her surroundings and then over at me. She was angry and confused. She was still open to me. Before she could start yelling I started explaining.

"Bella, you fainted in your bedroom. I'm sorry I upset ya. We are almost to Port Angeles, the bookstore. I thought you might like to get something new. I hear there are several vampire series that are popular with young adults right now," I added with a smirk. I kept her calm but not completely. She was angry and it was showing. She needed to feel it.

She looked around again and felt a bit smug. I looked at her with a raised eyebrow in silent question.

"Well Jasper, it seems you kidnapped me without so much as shoes on. Most stores have a 'No shirt, No shoes, No service' policy. She didn't smile; she didn't have any expression on her face. But her eyes had a bit more life in them and it made me smile that she was wrong.

I smirked at her again and nodded my head towards the backseat. She glanced in the back and looked back at me. Her emotions suddenly shut off.

"Bella, how do you do that? I could feel your emotions until just now, how are you blocking me?"

She shrugged, sat back and looked out the window without a word.

"Are you going to put your shoes and coat on?" I questioned. The cab of the truck was warm enough I made sure the heat was on but she would need to put that stuff on to go into the store.

She ignored me again.

So I decided to drive exactly the speed limit and just talk.

I told her about my human life, what I remembered anyway. I told her about being a Major in the Civil War. I told her about my love for books especially war books. I told her about how Alice and I met but tried to keep it quick. I told her about how Alice and I broke up. I did not tell her how I was changed. That was a conversation for another day.

She never looked at me or acknowledged me. She never made a comment or asked a question and she never let me feel her emotions. I could have been talking to a tree.

While I talked, I tried to decide how I was going to get her into the store. Short of carrying her in, I wasn't really sure how I was going to do it.

We pulled up in front of the store. I turned the truck off and reached in the back for her stuff. I didn't ask her, I didn't say one word, and I didn't look at her face. I grabbed her left foot and started putting her shoe on. She tried to pull her foot away from me but she didn't say anything and she knew she wasn't going to win.

I tied her tennis shoe and grabbed for the other one. She reached her hand out for it. I had her right foot in my hand which meant her body was turned toward me. Her shoe was in my other hand. I paused and raised my eyebrow at her. I wasn't going to give in if she wasn't going to talk. After a few seconds, I moved to put her shoe on and she grabbed at it.

"I can do it," she said calmly. I'm guessing her words were much calmer than what she was actually feeling but I can't be sure.

I let go of her foot and shoe and sat back still facing her, watching her. She never looked at me and she slowly put her shoe on. When she finished I handed her, her coat. She put it on without argument.

"I'll wait here," she stated.

I scoffed at her. "You are going in, Bella," I growled at her. It may have sounded more menacing than I intended but it got my point across.

I opened my door which was towards the curb and hopped out. I reached my hand towards her. She grabbed her door handle to open her door but I quickly grabbed her arm and yanked her across the seat.

"Bella, it's not safe to go that way, just come this way please?" I asked her.

She hopped out of the truck ignoring my offered hand. We walked into the bookstore without further incident. I made sure she was going to go look around and not just stand inside the door before I headed for the American History section. I wasn't going to babysit her either.

I found her 20 minutes later looking through the fiction section. She had one small book in her hands a short story, 'The Portrait of Dorian Gray' by Oscar Wilde. I laughed internally knowing that the story was about a human monster that stayed beautiful and youthful on the outside, while he committed atrocious acts and his portrait changed to show the hideousness that he truly was. I wasn't sure it was a good idea to purchase such a story since I knew how the story ended but my guess is she did too. Was it the same end she wished for Fuckward? I assumed that was how she felt, for her, he was another Dorian Gray.

With humor in my voice I asked her, "Are you getting that book, Bella?" I couldn't contain the smirk that followed.

She looked up at me. Her eyes sparkled for just a second again. Humor makes her eyes sparkle. I need to see more of that. I need to find more humor for her. I took the book from her hands and made my way to the checkout counter. She followed and didn't even argue. That was curious. I looked to see if she was behind me; she followed, looking at her feet.

The teenage girl at the counter smiled at me and asked too sweetly if I 'found everything I needed.' The double entendre was not lost on me. The lust she was throwing off also assured me of her meaning.

Bella stood next to me and flinched ever so slightly at her words but otherwise didn't acknowledge the issue. I wonder why Bella would care if the girl hit on me? Curious.

I paid for the book and we left the store. I put the book in the truck and turned Bella to walk down the street. It was cold but not unbearable. She didn't question me she just let me guide her silently. As we walked down the street toward the coffee shop, I knew was only a block down Bella's head snapped up.

I couldn't feel her emotions, her face did not betray any emotion but she began shaking. I followed her gaze to see what she was looking at. I didn't understand but I felt that I should. I was missing something. Something important.

"Bella?" I questioned her with worry.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Bella?" I asked again.

She reached out for my hand and lowered her head. She was still shaking but she grabbed my hand tightly and held on for dear life. I knew that if I had been human her grasp would have hurt. I looked ahead. All I saw were two guys who had just walked out of a bar. They were laughing and joking about a sports game they just watched and not paying us any attention. It looked like they were going to part ways so they stopped in the middle of the sidewalk to finish their conversation.

Was Bella scared of them? Had Fuckward spooked her for every man?

She continued to vibrate next to me and I'm fairly certain it was not because of the cool outside air. The coffee shop I was bringing her to was the door just past the men. I made sure to angle myself between Bella and the men as we walked by. I had to catch a growl before it passed, when I felt their lust increase when we walked by. I knew it was for Bella and I didn't like it.

Did she know them?

They didn't say anything to us or acknowledge us. I knew their eyes followed us but I just choose to ignore them, keeping Bella close to me and away from them. Not like they could hurt her much with me around, but I didn't like that she was afraid of them.

I brought her in the coffee shop and we walked up to the counter. The only person in there was the pimply faced boy with short brown hair working as a Barista. I looked down at Bella who was still looking at her shoes.

"Bella? What would you like? It's on me," I prompted her.

She looked up at me and shook her head. She looked back down at her feet. I sighed. Was I going to have to do it again so soon? We were going to go to dinner shortly after this so I guess we could just skip it. But I thought just sitting somewhere listening to the music and talking would be good. So I ordered us a couple of hot chocolates. Mine was only for show. I was not going to drink it if I didn't have to.

Bella never commented, never moved, and never said anything. I got our drinks and led us to a pair of comfy chairs by a fireplace. It seemed like a nice relaxing setting. Bella sat down and I set her drink by her. She didn't acknowledge it or me.

This was starting to feel like pulling teeth from a cranky alligator.

"Bella, I bought you a drink, please at least drink it," I prompted.

I ran my hands through my hair. How do I get through to her?

"Bella, do you want to go anywhere else? Do anything else, while we are out?"

I didn't even bother looking at her; I knew she wasn't looking at me. I could still hear the men we passed outside talking about coming in here to check out 'the punk with the little girly'. I was honestly hoping they chose to go somewhere else. I don't think I would handle the situation well if they tried to make trouble for Bella.

I needed to know. Why was she so scared of them?

"Bella? Were you scared of those men? Remember, I can't feel your emotions." I was hoping to get an answer from her. I did.

She nodded.

I growled.

She looked up at me with her vacant eyes, looking through me again.

"Fuck! What do I have to fuckin' do to git ya ta talk to me!?" I growled at her.

The way I acted most people would have been frightened but not Bella. She just looked at me. Again it was better than through me. She looked like maybe she'd answer and then the bell on the door dinged.

We both looked towards the door, only I knew who it was, and it was not good. She looked back at me, her eyes slightly bigger but still vacant of emotion. Leave it to Bella to constantly surprise me though.

She picked up her hot chocolate took a sip and stood up. I grabbed my cup and made to stand up also, while the men stood at the counter debating why coffee was so much in a coffee shop compared to everywhere else. Before I could get to my feet, Bella walked right in between my legs. I looked up at her with a questioning look. Now, what was she doing?

I couldn't get up with how she was standing and she was shaking but she managed to take another sip of her hot chocolate before she sat down in my lap. I moved my hands quickly to accommodate her because I still had my drink in my right hand. She curled up in my lap with her head nestled against my chest under my chin.

Her scent was mouthwatering, freesias and vanilla with a hint of strawberry from her shampoo. I shook my head, I couldn't think like that. I set my cup down and wrapped my arms around her. In my arms, I knew she was safe. I think so did she. I tried to send her some feelings of safety and fondness but again I can't be sure if she felt them.

The men ordered their coffees and came to sit directly across from Bella and I. Big mistake.

The lust coming from them was sickening. What enraged me was their anger and mischievousness. They were up to no good and I knew it. I couldn't do anything with Bella in my arms though and I didn't want to scare her. I had to bite back a growl. However, I could manipulate their feelings but if I manipulated them would it affect Bella? I couldn't have that. I couldn't scare her more and I still didn't know if my gift worked on her. Again always go for the obvious.

I sent feelings of contentment out that would keep the sharks across the room happy and Bella.

"Bella, can you feel that?"

She looked up into my eyes. Hers were haunted; they almost made _me_ want to shiver. I did it again. "That, can you feel that?" I asked in a whisper.

She slowly nodded her head. Okay, so even though I can't feel her, she can feel me. Again, this wasn't good with the moron twins sitting there. They have done nothing but whisper how sexy it would be to wrap 'that girl' around them.

Those men were pigs, even worse than pigs. They were evil. They didn't know I could hear them and I was glad Bella couldn't. They were going to cause trouble and I needed to get us out of here before that started. Bella returned her head to my chest.

"Bella? Are you ready to leave, darlin'?" I asked her just barely loud enough that the others might hear. I wasn't being cautious enough. I should have kept our conversation private.

She picked her head up and looked at me.

"GET A ROOM!" One of the men belted out in laughter.

Honestly, I was surprised it took him this long to say something. They had a plan. It was just decided. Get us outside and jump me to get to her. Bella nodded her head that she was ready to leave. Now what? Do we try to wait them out or lead them outside so they can attempt to put their plan into action?

I needed to get Bella away from them. Just then my phone beeped with a text message.

 **Alice: Send her to the restroom**

To save time I showed Bella the text. She paused staring at it like she had never seen a phone. Finally, she looked into my eyes and I nodded with my head and pointed towards the restroom with my chin. She looked over her shoulder at the men and towards the bathroom then back at me. Very slowly she got up, set her drink down and walked off.

The smaller man stood up as soon as her back was turned. I was up quickly and stepped in front of him.

"Where do you think you are going?" I growled at him, narrowing my eyes.

I knew how scary I could look. I was hoping that would be enough. He just looked at me and narrowed his eyes.

He glanced towards the restrooms and replied, "Do you mind? I have to take a shit." The other guy stayed in his seat but I could feel the nervous anticipation rolling off of him. They were both lustful and the guy in front of me was agitated.

"I think I do mind and you can wait," I stated menacingly.

These guys obviously had too much alcohol in them, because they sure couldn't take a hint. So when the other one came to stand by his friend I decided I had enough of this game. I sent them a bucket load of fear. I started it slowly and allowed it to increase. The second guy tried to act tough. Moreover he didn't even try to hide his intentions.

"We are going to get that pretty little thing of yours and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it, kid!" he stated.

I smirked, increasing the fear as I stepped closer to them. "Y'all need to get the hell out of here before she comes back. And I don't ever want to see you again. Is that clear? If I so much as smell you, you will hurt!" I said, with as much venom in my voice as I could.

They were shaking but their pickled brains just weren't working for them today. The first one I stopped raised a fist and swung it toward me. I dodged it easily but I could tell their fear response was not flight it was fight. Shit!

"Outside!" I barked at them. They hesitated and I headed for the door. They followed. I stopped trying to scare them with emotions. I was just going to have to take care of this the old fashioned way.

We walked around the corner and into the alley behind the coffee shop. I had left my phone on the table. Hopefully, Bella would understand that meant to stay put. I didn't know how far I was going to take this. Do I kill them? Do I just hurt them? The only person who saw us together was that pimply faced punk.

I need to get back to Bella. This has got to be quick. I turned towards them. "Well fellas we can do this the easy way or the hard way." They looked at each other and then back at me.

"The hard way," they answered in unison.

I sighed.

They stalked up to me trying to intimidate me. I sighed again. They each made a fist and lunged at me. I jumped back didn't touch them and they both fell to the ground. Yep, they were stupid and drunk. That made this easy. They scrambled to get up. I just stood there watching them trip over themselves.

"You stupid little punk!" the smaller guy screeched. I just stared at him.

Then with a smirk I replied, "You moron, you do realize I haven't touched you, right?"

He looked at me incredulously, like that just wasn't possible. I needed to get back to Bella I can't dance around with these assholes any longer. I stepped forward.

"You need to learn some manners and I'm going to teach you. You disrespect women. So I'm going to show you both what it's like to be used and mistreated," I said through gritted teeth. This scared them. Good.

I stalked toward them. The larger one took a swing at me while the other one backed up. I caught his fist and squeezed. Not hard enough to break the bones but hard enough that the pain brought him to his knees.

"Now, listen here you stupid little shit. You leave my girl alone and all women for that matter. You and your friend here, are nothing but worthless piles of shit and I will kill you if I ever see you again do I make myself clear?" I growled, lowly but loud enough they could both hear. I lightly hit the guy in the face breaking his jaw and then sent him some lethargy knocking him out.

The other guy looked on figuring I just knocked him out cold. I took a step towards him and he backed up. Pussy. I stalked at a faster pace towards him. He was not getting away. He backed up and tripped over some trash. He fell down and I wasted no time walking up as fast as "humanly" possible and decked him; breaking his nose and probably his cheek bone. Then I rendered him unconscious too. I went to work quickly. I knew it was only a matter of time before Bella came looking for me.

I moved the two guys further back in the alley and ripped their clothes off. They were going to wake broken, battered, and nude, in a very compromising position. I organized their bodies into a spoon and using strips made from their clothing tied them closely together. All of this only took about a minute thanks to my vampire speed. I needed to get back to Bella after all.

Just as I suspected, Bella was pacing nervously in front of the coffee shop, outside in the cold, holding my phone. When I came around the corner she saw me and let me feel her relief. It was nice to feel this coming from her. As I neared her though, the feeling disappeared. She never smiled at me, she never said a word but she was looking at me. She handed me my phone.

I looked down at the screen it had an open message.

 **Alice: Stay there!**

I nodded my head thankful that she sent the message and that Bella got it. She looked at me closely. I knew what she was looking for. Did I kill those men? I let her look. I didn't say anything. I stared into those empty eyes; once pools of molten chocolate now flat, lifeless, vacant. I just stared and let her stare at my black eyes. The black had taken over while we were still sitting in coffee shop, from my anger at those men. They really should not have followed us. Someone was going to have to find them; they weren't going to be able to get out of that by themselves. I laughed when I realized it'd probably be the Barista when he goes to throw the trash.

I can play her game. I knew she was getting cold but this silent treatment was getting ridiculous. So we waited. I never thought she was waiting for my eyes to return to their golden color but as soon as they did she relaxed her muscles, ever so slightly and turned and went back into the coffee shop. Me, I stood there. Was she waiting to see if they turned red or gold? She thought I killed those men.

I did not understand this woman!

I sent Alice a quick text saying Thanks. Then I followed Bella into the shop.

She was sitting in the chair I was originally in, drinking her hot chocolate. So I decided to play with her. I walked up to her looked down at her and she just stared straight ahead at my legs. I grabbed her under the arms, careful not to hurt her or spill the chocolate but maneuvered her just like a rag doll and sat down putting her back in my lap.

She didn't say anything but she struggled to pull away and I chuckled at her. "No, no you wanna sit in my chair missy then you do it when I'm not around." I looked at her with a smirk, as I held her squirming body in place. How does she keep that vacant look on her face?

She finally gave up and settled down. She returned to ignoring me and drinking her hot chocolate. The Barista watched the whole thing and gave off a ton of lust. I assume he wanted her wriggling around in his lap. I have to admit she was hitting and rubbing on a body part that didn't mind the attention. I can't think like that. This is Bella and she's brokenhearted.

"Bella, I didn't kill those men." I felt she needed to know this. Her body relaxed a bit more but she didn't say anything. "I can go back and finish them off if you want though?"

She looked up to me, still without expression and shrugged.

She shrugged?

What did that mean? If those guys hurt her I will go back and kill them. Did they hurt her before and did she really want them dead?

"Bella, did you know them? Did they hurt you?" I asked two questions at a time on purpose, it required more than a head nod or shrug to answer. She again looked at me for a long time and I quirked an eyebrow waiting for an answer.

"They attacked me last year, those are the men…" she couldn't finish.

I knew what she was going to say. Fuckward had told us what happened. I was all for killing them that night. But we didn't. Now I was enraged, they had tried to attack her twice!

"Bella, I know what you are talkin' 'bout, it's okay, darlin'. I didn' kill them, but they deserve to die for the things they do to women. I'll take care of it later."

Since I had ripped their clothes to shreds I had their wallets. I knew who they were and where they lived. And I had a plan. "I won't spill their blood, darlin'. I won't take that filth into me, and I won't be their executioner, but there will be justice, I promise." She looked at me, no expression but I assume it was supposed to be a questioning look. In other words, what was I going to do?

I sighed. "Let's get you some dinner, darlin' and I'll explain on the way home after, okay?"

She nodded her head and turned to finish her hot chocolate. "Do you want to take mine with you? I promise I didn't touch it," I said with a smile. She shook her head no, so I deposited the full cup in the trash on our way out the door.

As we walked away from the cafe, passing the alley, some grunting and groaning could be heard coming from that direction. Bella looked up at me and moved herself a bit closer. I smirked at her knowing exactly how those two morons were going to be found and put my arm around her shoulders. I think I was looking for any excuse to touch her, hold her. I didn't have to put her in my lap earlier. Although, I had hoped she'd say something about it rather than wiggle and give up.

I didn't have to put my arm around her now, but I enjoyed feeling her warmth and the closeness of her petite frame. She was so thin though. I think she was more breakable now than she ever was. Soaking wet, she probably only weighed 90lbs.

"Bella, the Chinese place was okay, right?" She nodded her head.

Thank God! I hoped that meant she was going to eat. Carlisle did tell me not to force her though. Apparently, when people quit eating their stomach shrinks and they can't take in as much food as normal. But she did pretty well with those eggs this morning. It didn't seem like we did much today and she slept for quite a while after she fainted. Honestly, I kept her that way because she needed the sleep too.

We arrived at the Chinese place and it was a buffet, so I had to pay for a meal for me even though I wasn't planning on eating. But, I didn't argue, I just paid. We found a booth to put our jackets in and I went with Bella through all the different stations. She never spoke. The good news was she never argued, either.

She piled a plate with egg rolls, orange chicken, rice, and sushi. Though it looked good enough, it didn't smell that great and I really didn't want to know how it tasted. I put a couple pieces of sushi on a small plate for me. I chose the same kind she got in case she wanted them. I doubt she's going to eat all this food. I silently cursed myself bringing an anorexic to a buffet, from previous psych classes; I knew that was a bad idea.

Technically, she wasn't anorexic though, I reminded myself. She was depressed, severely. She wasn't worried about her weight. She just had no will to eat. That was the difference. I hoped to make small talk while we were here. There was only a few other people in the restaurant and they were kind of loud, so I hoped we would just go unnoticed.

'Of course,' I thought wryly, with a slight smirk on my face, 'who wouldn't notice the vampire and the zombie at a Chinese restaurant?' Yeah that was a bad sitcom storyline right there.

Bella caught my eyes with her blank stare and cocked her head. She couldn't hear my internal monologue and wanted to know what I found humorous. Somehow, I knew she wouldn't find it so funny though. I shook my head at her, indicating I wasn't going to answer the unasked question.

"So Bella, would you like to do anything else tonight?" She was slowly eating her food for which I was grateful. It didn't seem like she was going to make me eat for the second time today. I was mentally doing a happy dance over that one.

She continued to look at me and shook her head no. I couldn't help myself, I didn't want to bring her home. I didn't want to snap that door closed. But it had been a long day for her. I knew she wasn't used to doing all this. I was going to give her a choice, but not going at all, was not an option.

"Bella, there's a movie I want to see and you are going with me. Do you want to go tonight or tomorrow?"

Frankly, I didn't know what movies were playing but I did know I was taking her someplace. She looked up at me. She knew she didn't have a choice. I just stared at her waiting for an answer. And I was going to blow a gasket if I didn't get one. I tried to give her a look that conveyed this, my frustrated you better answer or else look.

Her body tensed, she looked at table and said very softly, "Tomorrow."

"Now, was that so difficult to say, darlin'?" I asked because she looked like it really was that difficult to say.

Then I realized we never finished the argument that caused her to faint. The one where I said, 'Bella, I'm not leavin'. Not until you're better, sweetheart. I can't stand the thought of you livin' like this', and she blew up at me.

We still needed to have that conversation. I needed to find a movie to take her to tomorrow. I needed to take care of the rat-bastards that I left in the alley. And, I needed to make sure she got a decent night's sleep again tonight. I never typically felt busy, but Bella was apparently high maintenance. No Bella's not the problem, saving her from her inner demon was. I groaned internally. I have a lot of work to do.

Just then my phone beeped with an incoming text.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

As I dropped Bella off at home I decided to let her know I'd be back to help her sleep. She already knew I was helping anyway.

"Bella, I'm going to go home and take care of a few things but I'll be back in time to help you sleep, okay darlin'?"

I knew I was giving her a choice, though I planned on helping her whether she wanted me to or not. She nodded and hopped out of the truck. I watched her go into the house. The lights were on, so I knew the chief was home.

I had decided while we were at the restaurant that she had had enough for one day and we could talk more in the morning. She had agreed to let me come over again in the morning so we could talk. Of course, her agreement was simply a head nod. She seriously needed to start talking, or I was going to have an aneurysm from frustration. I didn't think that was possible for a vampire but maybe I should check with Carlisle, because this woman was killing me. I'm typically a quiet guy but hell even I wasn't that quiet!

I got home and called Emmett. He really needed to know what he was getting in to by coming here. I guess I should have known he'd want to see Bella. He was as upset as Alice was about leaving her behind. He felt really protective of her. I didn't know if I should tell her. I didn't want her flipping out at the Chinese place so when I got the text from him I just ignored it. I didn't respond and I didn't mention to her what it said, though I'm sure she was curious.

 **Emmett: I'm comin 2 c my lil sis!**

I checked my texts again making sure I didn't miss anything. Not that I ever did. Being a vampire ensures I hear and feel things other people may miss, but I felt off being around Bella; maybe because I couldn't feel her emotions? I dialed Emmett.

"What's up, bro?" he answered.

I rolled my eyes. He sounded so chipper and I felt anything but. It would be nice to have him around here. He was genuinely happy most of the time and his enthusiasm was a welcome emotion.

"Emmett, I got your message. Sorry, I was with Bella and didn't respond," I stated solemnly.

"Dude! I know! Alice was texting her, err you. Anyway, Rose and I are on our way there. Carlisle said she was sick. What's goin' on, dude?" I could tell just by listening to him that he was excited and concerned.

I knew Rose wasn't a Bella fan and I wasn't too happy to have her coming with Emmett but they were a package deal. I launched into Bella's story. I left nothing out. I wanted Rose to hear about the men, not because she'd want to kill them but hopefully to gain some sympathy for Bella. Neither of them interrupted until I was done.

"Dude ,that's fucked up," Emmett stated solemnly.

'Well, I effectively killed his buzz,' I thought wryly to myself.

"I know," I responded. I also didn't want to have to tell Rose to be good, but I felt I needed to say something. "Rose-" she cut me off.

"Jasper, I know, okay…I know." I wasn't sure what she meant by that and my hesitation was enough for her to give an explanation. "I know. I haven't always been that nice to Bella. Hell, it's because of her we had to move from our home-"

"Roossee," I growled in warning.

"Let me finish!" she shrieked.

I waited. "I'm not a Bella fan okay. But she is sick, she truly sounds like she's damn near at death's door and it's because of us. I didn't like her because I didn't want our family disrupted this way. It's too late for that. And Fuckward," she chuckled, "as you call him…well it sounds like he really did screw her up good. No one deserves to be going through what she is. I've talked to Emmett about this while we've been driving and I've promised him and I'll promise you the same thing. I will not be mean to Bella, anymore." I was stunned. I was happy. I wasn't going to have to fight that battle. I was relieved.

"Thank you, Rose," I said, with a smile.

"Thank you, baby," Emmett added.

"Now what about those assholes you beat up, Jazz?" Rose inquired.

Oh yeah, still need to take care of that issue. I told her my plan and although it wasn't what she wanted, she agreed it was decent enough.

"Oh, Alice just sent a text to my phone," Rose stated.

We waited for her to read it to us, "All it says is: 'I just took care of it for you guys, just take care of Bella.' Is she talking about the morons?" Another text beeped in: "Yes," Rose read. We all chuckled. Leave it to Alice. I'm sure she's been working on it since I made the decision to do it.

That did make me wonder something. "How come Alice isn't with you guys?" I asked.

"She said it wouldn't be good for her to show up now," Rose answered. "That's all she said, she wouldn't give us any details." I nodded my head, even though they couldn't see it. Alice had a reason for everything she did.

"So when are you guys going to get here?" I asked.

"Probably around noon tomorrow, Bro. I'm totally excited to see my little sister. Do you think she'll be happy to see us?" He started out excited but his last question let his anxiety creep in. I almost felt bad for him. He truly loved Bella and didn't want to be rejected.

"I think its best, if I let her know you're coming. I can't say what her reaction will be. She typically doesn't have one. And I can't feel her emotions when she's awake, so I don't know," I answered honestly. I couldn't let him get his hopes up too much; he would just get his heart stomped on.

"Wow, she's that bad, huh? I keep hoping you are exaggerating things, Jazz," he stated quietly.

"I'm not. I honestly don't think words can do it justice. She is dead inside Em and her exterior is quickly following. Shit, she looks deader than we do!" I sighed. "I have to save her guys, this is all my fault," I said morosely.

"No!"

"Knock it off!"

Rose screeched, while Emmett simultaneously yelled his command. This wasn't new for us. Alice got tired of hearing it. Everyone got tired of hearing it. I blamed myself for breaking the family up. I honestly didn't care that much about Edward leaving the family but Esme and Carlisle did. Alice and he had a special bond as well, because of their gifts. Emmett, Rose, and I were closer so it made sense that they were coming now, to help me with Bella.

Would the three of us be enough to save Bella? I looked at the clock and it was getting late. I ended my call with Emmett and Rose and made my way back to the Swan residence. If nothing else those two were going to sleep well tonight. Bella and I needed to talk in the morning.

When I arrived, her window was cracked so I knew she was expecting me. I listened for Charlie and found he was in his room snoring. I listened for Bella and she was in her room, heart beat and breathing even, but no emotions. Shit she was still awake.

I didn't know what to expect. But I could always just knock her out and deal with it in the morning. I was sure that would probably make her angry though. Come to think of it, she did thank me for helping her sleep last night. Maybe this would be okay. I smiled. I'm not going in through the window. I'm going to use the front door like a normal person. I'm not a monkey or a stalker. Not that it'd be difficult but it's just the principle of the matter.

I went to the door using the hidden key I saw her use earlier, I let myself in. I made my way silently upstairs and shot some lethargy towards Charlie. He needed his sleep too. His snoring deepened and I made my way to Bella's door. I knew I was going to scare her. I decided I could let her know I was here before I opened the door. I sent out a wave of happiness. Since I knew she could feel me now. I waited. "Jasper?" her voice questioned as I opened the bedroom door. She didn't jump, didn't move. She was facing me with her back to the cracked window.

I smiled at her. "Evenin', darlin'. What are you still doin' up?" She still had the haunted look. The look of pain and not just any pain, but a cutting pain down to her very soul. It broke my heart to see her with that expression. I continued the happiness and added a small amount of calm to relax her. I waited for an answer. Everything seemed to be beyond slow motion with her.

"I was waiting for you," she finally answered, in a small voice.

I smiled at her. "Well, I'm here now, sweetheart. Are you ready to sleep?"

She yawned an adorable little yawn and nodded her head. 'Did I just think her yawn was adorable?' Adorable? Okay, file that information away for after she's asleep. I had to touch her. To know she was alright. And I knew she needed comedy, it got her eyes to spark, however briefly. Of course, so did anger but I was going to avoid that emotion. We're going for humor here.

I walked over to the side of her bed where she was facing me. "Good night, sweetheart," I whispered into her ear. And the little shiver came.

She looked up at me.

"Goodnight, Jasper," she responded quietly; probably wondering why I leaned over her. I smirked. I sent her my humor and put my hands on either side of her form and quickly tucked all the blankets in under her body from her shoulders to her feet. I did it at my speed, so it was done before she knew what happened.

I looked back at her face when I was done and I was shocked. Her eyes were almost glowing. They had teared up but they had that spark in them. And a small smile played at the corner of her lips. I didn't know what that meant. Damnit, why couldn't I feel her emotions? She bit her lip ever so slightly, almost like she didn't want me to notice the action.

"Bella what's wrong? Why are you cryin', darlin'?" I knelt at the side of the bed, face to face with her. She didn't move to un-tuck herself, she just laid there staring at me with the teary eyes. Damn, I didn't mean to make her cry. I just was playing. "Honey? What'd I do? I didn't mean to make you cry. I was just playin'. I'm sorry."

While I pleaded with her with my eyes, I internally wondered if I was over doing the loving nicknames. Why wasn't she answering me? Four minutes passed with us just staring at each other. Finally, she gulped and whispered, "Thank you," as she closed her eyes. The tears she had been holding back -fell. And I think a piece of my cold dead heart broke off with each one. I had to fix this. If I fell in love with her on the way, then so be it. I could feel that was a possibility and it scared me. But, I couldn't stand to see her in pain. I had to touch her in an effort to comfort her. So I did what any man would do. I wiped away her tears with my thumbs and I kissed her on the nose, consequences be damned.

Her eyes flew open.

I smiled warmly at her and shook my head, answering her silent question. No, she had nothing to worry about. She closed her eyes and I opened her bedroom door. It was easier to get to Charlie that way. I curled up next to her and pulled her burritoed body into mine. She tensed for a second. I whispered "It's okay Bella, go to sleep. I'm here and we'll talk in the morning." She relaxed just a little and I pulled her a little bit closer savoring the warmth and sound of her blood. I sent her calmness and lethargy until she was sound asleep.

As the morning dawned, I briefly left Bella to shut her bedroom door. Charlie did not need to come out of his room across the hall, to see me lying in bed with his daughter. No matter how innocent it was. I knew I was developing feelings for Bella. I just didn't know what to do about it. I had all night to think about it. The conclusion I came to? Oh shit and oh well. They battled it out in my head and came up with uh-oh. When I heard Charlie open his bedroom door I hid in the closet. I knew he'd probably check on Bella, since she didn't wake him up with her screaming. He was curious when he checked on her.

As he closed the door, relief and happiness were dominant for him. That made me happy. He slept well and he knew Bella did too. That was a small battle won. I stopped helping Bella sleep around 5 am. It was 8:00 and she was still asleep but she was starting to stir. Since I had kept her sedated all night, her emotions were nothing but peaceful. However, some grief, sadness, anger, and fear trickled in. I didn't want to put her back to sleep but I didn't want her to feel that either, so I rocked her shoulder sending her calm and happy feelings, trying to wake her up.

"Bella? Bella darlin'?"

I had returned to lying on the bed next to her. It seemed important to be in the same place I was when she went to sleep. She opened her eyes, feeling confused and even frantic for a moment. Once she looked into my eyes, she was relieved. That seemed odd. She was relieved to see me? Until I realized she was probably scared I was going to leave. Damn that Fucktard! If I ever get my hands on him, it won't be soon enough.

I smiled at her and let her feel my calm. She had more light to her eyes. They weren't as haunted and dead as they had been. The circles under her eyes were better today, too. Now we just needed to get some meat on her bones and we were in business. She snuggled into my chest and closed her eyes again. I had to chuckle. I can't blame her she hadn't been sleeping for months and now she was content having gotten some sleep.

I also can't say I didn't like having her that close to me. Her warmth radiated through the blankets and into my skin. It felt wonderful. I relished it all night long and right now I was getting it for a few more minutes from her willingly. I wrapped my arms around her and just held her to my chest. This felt right. As wrong as I knew it was, it felt good. Her blood still wasn't overly tempting despite our closeness but I did notice it was a bit more difficult today. I was going to have to hunt tonight for sure.

It hadn't been even a week for me since I last ate, but the closeness with Bella and her constant scent and warmth made it a bit more uncomfortable. Still manageable for today though. Maybe Emmett can sit with her tonight, while I hunt for a bit? Oh shit Emmett and Rose.

"Uhh… Bella? Darlin'? I know you're comfy and what not, but we really do need to talk and that includes you joinin' in with words." She looked up at me her eyes still haunted but they had more depth to them. I considered it a small victory.

She nodded and squirmed to get out of the blankets. I chuckled I really did tuck her in tight. But I wasn't going to help her unless she asked for it. So I laid there and chuckled at her.

With a huff and frustration coming from her she finally asked, "Jasper, can you help me out of here, please?" I smirked at her and yanked her quilt straight up to avoid rolling her on to the floor. She let out a little yelp in surprise but made no other comment. She got some clothes and headed for the door.

"Uhh...Bella?" She turned to look at me, but again said nothing.

"I have to run home and get changed," I pointed to yesterday's clothes. "So I'll just be back in an hour. Tell me darlin', will I be having breakfast again with you?" I smirked at her with an eyebrow raised in question. I really didn't want to, but I needed to know. And I'll be damned if she didn't look like she was debating the answer. I raised both my eyebrows at her. She was feeling a bit mischievous and I just gaped at her.

"It's up to you, Jasper," she said quietly, with a smile tugging at her lips. Her emotions closed off from me and she turned around and headed for the bathroom. I gaped at the space that she used to be standing in. That little sneak was going to make me eat with her, again! I sighed. If she ate that's all that mattered. I ran home showered, changed, and got my truck. I drove back up in front of the Swan residence an hour later.

"Jasper, good to see you, son!" Charlie called, from the front door as I got out of my truck. I briefly shook his hand as I walked in. He was happy. I guess he saw Bella. She was by no means back to herself but she was getting better. "Son, I don't know what you did with her yesterday, she wouldn't tell me but there is definite improvement and she slept through the whole night. She looks so much better! I don't know how to begin to thank you!"

Yep he was happy. I smiled at him and told him I took her to the book store, coffee shop, and then dinner. She ate quite a bit too. He just beamed at me.

"I'm sorry, if I ever had any doubts about your being here. She's up in her room, I think. She's already had breakfast and she ate that too!" He was elated.

I sighed internally. Thank God she wasn't going to make me eat! I shook my head as I thought about the things I would do for this woman, what lengths I would go to. And I knew.

'Yep fallin' hard and quick there Major,' my internal voice told me.

"Should I go up?" I asked.

He didn't really indicate that he was going to call her down. She had to know I was here Charlie was being very loud and I'm sure she could have heard my truck pull up as well.

"Yeah, just go on up. I hope she didn't go back to bed. She came down this morning and she had a light in her eyes, she said 'good morning' to me without me saying it first, she ate her food as soon as I put it in front of her and she thanked me for making breakfast. Do you know that's the most she's said to me without prompts in 4 months?" Charlie's feelings were turning morose and I hated to bring him down off his buzz, so I shot him some excitement.

"That's great, Charlie! I told her I was taking her to a movie today, you don't mind do you?"

He looked at me and there was curiosity coming from him, but he didn't act on it. "That's fine, son, get her out of the house. If you can bring my daughter back to me, I can't argue." He smiled at me genuinely. I returned the smile and headed for the stairs.

Charlie wasn't talking to me but I heard him mumble to himself, 'I hope he's careful, entrusting my daughter to _his_ brother.' He was still angry but hopeful too. I wanted to tell him he could trust me, but he couldn't know I heard him.

I found Bella sitting on her bed reading, A Portrait of Dorian Gray. I chuckled to myself. That was such an appropriate book. She looked up at me, she didn't smile but she nodded. I went and sat down right next to her. I threw my arm around her shoulders and pulled her in.

"How's it goin', baby?" I chuckled, letting her feel my humor. After all, I was slightly serious when I accidentally called her baby; I had to play it off somehow.

She let me feel her emotions.

'Thank You,' I silently prayed to the heavens. She opened up to me. She was sad, very very sad, angry, bewildered even, but the humor was there. She looked me in the eyes and even though hers still had some vacancy, she was slowly moving back in.

"We need to talk, is now a good time?" I asked seriously.

She closed her book and put it on the bedside table. She angled her body towards me indicating she was listening but she didn't say anything. "Are you gonna participate in this conversation? 'Cause I don' feel like talkin' to a tree stump today," I smirked.

"I'll talk," she answered quietly. I almost felt the need to hug her for that, but I settled for squeezing her hand. She continued to hold my hand afterwards; that did not go unnoticed by me.

I smiled and began; I thought good news was the way to go. "Darlin', I have some news before we get too far into anything. I hope you won't be upset, but I did tell the family what was going on. As you know Alice has been in contact too. And well, Emmett is coming to see you," I finished quickly.

She was immediately furious, but also so sad. She was letting me feel it. However, her face was blank. I saw the light in her eyes dim ever so slightly. Shit! She's checking out. "Bella, Bella it's okay honey, he really wants ta see ya. An' he was so mad an' upset when we left, he hasn' been the same. He's tried, darlin'. He still makes jokes and plays, but he always has a wistfulness about him…a longing. He really loves you and he's so excited to see you again," I pleaded with her to understand.

"He loves me? He's excited to see me? He's not the same!?" she started yelling. "Do I even get a say in this!? Does anyone care what I want!?" She began crying. I pulled her into my lap and hugged her.

"Of course we do, darlin'. Do you not want to see him? I can call him right now and tell him to turn around. They should be here in a couple of hours though." She was still crying feeling defeated but her anger spiked again.

"They?" she questioned, through gritted teeth.

I knew this wasn't going to go over well. She didn't know Rosalie had changed her opinion. "Uhh…yeah, Emmett and Rose, they left yesterday and will be here about noon," I said sheepishly.

"Rose? Oh that's just great!" she mumbled heatedly. Anxiety, self-loathing, and despair colored her emotions and I hurried to make it right.

"Bella, like I said it's okay. Rose doesn' hate you, she never did. She didn't want what happened to happen."

Somehow I managed to dig the hole deeper for myself with that statement. "She KNEW this was going to happen!? She KNEW you were all going to LEAVE ME!?" she seethed with an emotionless expression.

I scrubbed my face with my hands and raked them through my hair. I was surprised Charlie wasn't up here yelling at me to get out. She was yelling and crying. I listened for him and I could hear his heart slightly elevated in the living room. He had the TV on and was watching a game of some kind. I don't know if he just wasn't listening to us or trying to ignore us, but he was projecting anger and curiosity. So I'm guessing it was the latter.

"Bella. No. Okay. No, she didn' know we were gonna leave. She actually thought we were gonna to have to leave because you were _his_ singer. Then _he_ was tryin' to be close ta ya and she was worried _he_ was gonna slip and we'd have ta move because of that. She was worried 'cause she thought ya were gonna change the family and you did. She's not angry about it anymore. She knows now they all love ya and they're all hurtin' too, darlin'. Emmett isn't the same, Esme is always sad, Carlisle tries but he's affected too much by Esme's sadness. Alice is beside herself with grief, she's not the perky girl you knew in school. And me, well I had to deal wit' all their issues, plus my own guilt for havin' caused the situation to begin with." I hung my head in shame and I let her feel it too.

"You'll never know how sorry I am, darlin'. I will try to make it up to you, every day from now on if you'll let me. You can use and abuse me however you want and I'll never complain. I ruined your life. I'm sorry." The last apology came out as nothing more than a whisper. I couldn't look at her. Honestly, if I could cry, I think I would be crying. As it was, I was never one to cry in front of women but even with Bella, I would. I wanted her to know how sorry I truly was.

She closed off her emotions and I looked up at her. Right before they were gone the last thing I felt was guilt. What does she have to be guilty for? Bella never does what I expect though. This time however, I kind of expected it. I looked into her eyes and she was gone. She was looking through me. I needed her back. I couldn't let her go back to that place she's been for months. And Oh God Charlie! He will try to kill me.

At that moment, I knew I wasn't saving her anymore. I was losing myself. My heart broke. I couldn't even look at her anymore. That vacant, desolated look in her eyes was too much. I broke her more, me, my fault. But I had to apologize. She deserved to know how sorry I was. I leaned forward without looking at her, I scooped her up and put her in my lap and dry sobbed while hugging her tightly for the first time in my existence. I held her while I cried, tearless sobs racking through my body, whispering, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," over and over.

She didn't react. She didn't speak, she didn't hug me back. It was like holding a warm fragrant rag doll. But I just couldn't let her go. Then I heard them pull up into the driveway.

'This can't be happening,' I thought internally. I couldn't control the sobs. I didn't even want to try. I only knew I couldn't project my sadness onto Bella because she was already too broken. So I kept it to myself. I couldn't get control of it internally, but I could keep from sending it out.

"Bella company!" Charlie called upstairs. I knew it was time to face the music.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I was surprised when Bella reacted almost instantly. Did she know who was here? Was she expecting them? Charlie said her friends never came around anymore. She squirmed to get out of my hold, which I allowed while gaping at her. Her eyes were still vacant and she never gave me a second glance as she grabbed a sweater and made her way downstairs.

Should I go down? I knew who was down there. I could smell them.

"Bella? Oh no! Honey, what happened?" Charlie was asking her with concern. Confusion, anger, sadness were radiating off of him. The other two in the room were just plain angry.

"What do you mean, Charlie?" one of them with a deep baritone voice asked. "She looks the same as she always does." He was confused but he was angry, he knew I was upstairs. I decided I needed to go down. It would be weird for me to stay up here.

I slowly moved to the door and heard Charlie explain to the others, "She was better this morning, she went out last night with Jasper…Jasper? Hey Jasper, come down here!" Charlie called. I was already on the stairs when he called.

I looked up to see the two men standing next to him. The slightly smaller one had Bella in his arms. I bit back a growl. I needed to not do that here. But he needed to let go of her.

"Jasper, I'd like you to meet Sam." He pointed to a large dark skinned man. "And Jake." He pointed to the dark skinned boy holding Bella. Werewolves. I could smell them a mile away, literally.

I nodded towards each but no one offered hands and Charlie gave us all a quizzical look. He looked back at Bella with sad eyes. She was just standing there while Jake had his arms wrapped around her. She didn't return the embrace, she didn't look at him, and she didn't say anything.

"What happened, Jasper?" Charlie asked me. Everyone looked to me for an answer.

I looked at Bella willing her out of this catatonic state as I spoke. "We were talkin' and uhh…well I was just tryin' to explain to her how our leavin' affected everyone in the family. I also may've mentioned that Emmett and Rosalie were on their way to visit." I looked up at Charlie with sad eyes. I really wanted to cry again. I can't believe this was happening and in front of those mongrels!

"So what, your family is back? They are all coming back now?" Sam asked with hatred. "Do you have any idea what you _pe-ople_ have done? Do you know the lives you have wrecked around here? Do you know what she's been through? Do you know that I found her on the forest floor after being out in the rain for 11 HOURS! Do you? Huh, you little shit?" He was pretty much yelling by the time he was done and his hands were shaking. My eyes never left Bella as he yelled at me. I couldn't say that I blamed him.

Jacob's arms were also shaking and I heard him grind his teeth. He still had Bella in his arms and that was not a good thing. I reached out for her and he turned her away from me with his body. I looked back at Sam and then at Charlie who obviously didn't know the whole issue here. I looked to Sam and nodded my head towards Jacob. I reached my hand out again. I tried to make Sam understand that Jacob needed to let her go. He wasn't safe and I knew that.

"Jake man, let her go, he's not gonna hurt her with us standing here. Are you _Jas-per_?" he spit out my name. I just shook my head no. I reached for Bella and gently pulled her by the shoulders from Jacob's grasp. His arms began to vibrate more and Charlie was definitely concerned. Jacob took a step back and took a deep breath to calm himself down. I looked to Sam.

"I'm sorry. We all are," I mumbled as I drew Bella into my icy embrace.

I had to have her in my arms. Charlie, looked at me with anger. I can only assume it's because we were passing Bella around like a can of beer at a barbeque. Of course, it could be because she was back to the way she was before I came. No one spoke. Everyone had a look of anger except me and Bella, she was blank and I was sad. I didn't care that anyone knew it. I knew she was getting better and I had made it worse.

I didn't have anything to say so I just stood there holding Bella. She didn't seem to care who had her or even if someone did. I pulled her closer and rested her head on my chest with my chin on top of her head. And I waited. Why were these guys here anyway?

Almost as if he could read my mind, I scoffed internally at that thought; Charlie spoke up. "Sam comes by weekly to check on Bella since he found her," he told me solemnly. I nodded my head once in acknowledgement of the statement. I knew I needed to say something they were all looking at me.

I looked Sam in the eye. "Thank you. Thank you for saving her. I do not condone what my _brother_ did. I don't know what _he_ said to her and none of us knew that _he_ left her in the woods. I found out two days ago when I returned and Charlie had told me all the horror that had happened since we left." I projected sincerity to everyone lightly. Bella would know that I was doing it but the others would hopefully believe they felt it coming from my words. I wasn't sure if the wolves knew of my gift.

Sam nodded his head curtly. Acknowledging that I as far as he knew I wasn't responsible for Bella's state; though I knew the real story. He looked over at Jacob who managed to calm himself down but looked at me and projected nothing but utter loathing and hatred.

"Jake let's go." He turned and headed for the door not watching to see if Jacob followed. He did.

Charlie followed them and let them out. I knew he was going to be mad I could feel his anger building along with his sadness. He was going back to how he felt the first day when I arrived.

Shit! I fucked this entire situation up!

They've eaten and they've rested I reminded myself. I helped them to take care of some of the basics. Maybe I should just go. I was making things worse now.

Fuckward had a point; our world was not for Bella. It was not my job to pick up the pieces he left behind. Bella should be able to get over him without my interference. He told us it was for her 'own good' that we left. He never truly stopped loving her. He was trying to save her. Save her from us and herself. Maybe I should call him. I should leave here and go call him. He could come and fix this shit if he wanted to. He shouldn't have ever brought her to our home. I'm the reason he left. It was my lack of control that started all of this off. I shouldn't be here.

Of course, it's hard to control yourself in a room full of blood thirsty vampires, when you can feel all of their thirst. Shit I was ravenous, I felt like I hadn't had a drop in years and her blood was going save me. I don't need to think about this, again. I needed to go. She'll be better off without me.

"Jasper?" Charlie brought me out of my thoughts. I looked at him and he was sad. The anger had dissipated and he was just sad and hopeless. I waited to see if he was going to ask me to leave. I couldn't blame him if he did.

"Jasper, I don't know what happened up there. But what I do know is that she was better just an hour ago. She's letting you hug her and that's still progress. Other than Jake, no one has been able to get that close. Including me," he looked down. "Please, if you think you can help at all, if you can bring her back… please?" he whispered the last word, with a heavy sigh, emphasizing his plea for help.

I looked down at the angel in my arms. Her eyes were open and nothing changed. His words broke my icy heart but she didn't even acknowledge them.

I just promised her upstairs that, _'I will try to make it up to you every day from now on if you'll let me. You can use and abuse me however you want and I'll never complain.'_ If I leave and go call Fuckward I'd be breaking that promise only an hour after I had made it.

I couldn't call him! What was I thinking? If he showed up here Charlie would try to kill him and Bella may regress so far she'd never make it back. I couldn't do that to her. I nodded at him.

"I'll try." It was all I could say. He didn't know the full extent of the story. He didn't know a vampire was holding his daughter and he didn't know the two men that just left were werewolves. And he couldn't know any of that.

"Come on Bella, let's go back up stairs." I loosened my hold and backed away from her. She turned and walked up the stairs to her room without a backward glance to me or Charlie. She could hear everything that was being said. She just chose not to react to it most of the time. I followed her silently up. When I reached her room she was back to laying on her bed face up blankly staring at the ceiling.

It looked so much like two days ago when I first saw her. Only this time I was not going to screw up like I did that day. I've already screwed up too much today. I went and lay down next to her on the purple quilt facing her. I didn't know what to do. What to say. I just wanted to hold her and kiss her and make it all go away.

Could I do that? Would that work? I sighed. That would be taking advantage of her in her current condition she's hardly capable of consenting to anything. I needed to put my hormones on the back burner here. Do vampires have hormones?

"Bella, Emmett and Rose are gonna to be here in about an hour. Should I send them away or not?" I knew I had to ask it in a way that required her to answer. Glad I was still thinking on my toes here. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and set it on her stomach. "Bella, Emmett is really excited to be comin' for a visit. I can' be the one to tell him you don't wanna see him. So if the answer is no, you don't wanna see him, then please call him yourself." I looked from her to my phone and rolled onto my back too. It was only a full size bed and it was cozy but we both fit. And again, I waited.

About 10 minutes later Bella had made a decision. She picked the phone up and scrolled through the contacts finding Emmett's number. I had turned my head to watch her. She still had the vacant look in her eyes. How she saw Emmett's number was beyond me, it looked like she was looking through the phone not at it. She held the phone out towards me while she remained looking ahead. I just looked at it. I wasn't going to do this for her. If she wanted it done, she had to do it.

She waited patiently for a minute until she realized I was never going to take the phone from her. "Not right now. Later," she said in that same monotone hollow voice. Her hand still extended towards me with the phone.

"How much later, Bella?" I still wasn't going to take that phone from her.

"Tomorrow," she responded with only a few seconds of hesitation. That was progress.

"Uh-nuh, you do it," I told her. I was smirking internally; externally I was staring at the side of her head should she turn it to check for seriousness. She brought the phone back in front of her and looked at it.

"At this point Bella they could show up at any minute," I drawled out. Almost enjoying her conundrum.

She swung her arm back at me. "Please?" she asked. She still wasn't looking at me and I rather enjoyed making her react. She turned her head to look at me after another minute of holding the phone out to me. There was life in there again. My brain was doing a happy dance while my body sat stoically not betraying me.

"Jasper, please?" She moved the phone in front of me. Her expression was still flat and I wasn't going to give in. As far as I was concerned she was upset and nervous but she wasn't dead.

"Bella, just call 'em and tell 'em you don't wanna see 'em today and that they can come over tomorrow," I told her, again emphasizing my southern accent. After all, I knew women liked it and I was trying to manipulate the situation. I decided to send her a boost of confidence to help her make the call. She looked at me when she felt it but didn't move to make the call. I raised an eyebrow at her.

"I'll explain if you make the call," she stated. Even better now she was trying to bargain with me.

"Why don't you wanna make the call?" I asked honestly curious. I knew she had something to tell me but I was a patient man, I could wait until she found another time to tell me. "Bella, you can try to make all the deals in the world but I'm not makin' that call," I finally said. She truly was running out of time. Just then the phone vibrated with an incoming text.

 **Alice: They'll b there in 7 min. Just mk the call Jazz.**

Bella checked it first then showed me. Trying to hand the phone off to me. I smirked and shook my head. Bella shoved the phone at me and I just pushed her hand away.

"She told you to, Jasper," she stated.

I smirked again. "She's not my mother, Bella and she's not even my wife anymore. You want it done you do it yourself. Otherwise, let's go downstairs to wait for them." I sat up and swung my legs off the bed.

Bella looked at me. The spark in her eyes flared and she was angry now. I knew it. I don't know how I knew but I just did. She was mad at me and that was fine. I'm sure that was what Alice wanted anyway, she knew I wouldn't make that call just because she said to.

I stood up. "Shall we?" I asked as I reached my hand towards her. She looked back down at the phone and pressed send. I sighed and sat back down.

"Yo Bro! What's up?" I heard Em bellow through the phone. "Jasper? Helllooo?" Bella held the phone away from her ear because yeah Emmett was just that loud. "I know it's you. Listen we are almost there. Should we go to Bella's or the house?" I raised my eyebrow at her and nodded towards the phone, silently telling her to answer him.

"Emmett," she said timidly.

"Bella!" he yelled. "Bella, I'm on my way lil sis. Are you home? Where's Jasper?" He was excited. No one could miss that in his voice.

"Emmett," Bella stated again in the same tone.

"Bella?" he asked in a wondering voice. "Is everything okay? Where's Jasper?" Bella looked up at me with pleading eyes. Thank God she was coming back, there was emotion in them.

"I'm here, Em," I stated still looking her in the eye.

"What's going on? Is something wrong? We're almost there; we're about a half hour out right now."

I smiled, 7 minutes my ass. She lied to speed up the standoff. Thank you Alice. Bella's body relaxed a bit. I knew the eminent threat of Emmett was stressing her but it had to be done.

"Hello? Guys, what's going on you're really scaring me." Emmett was serious now. I nodded towards the phone for Bella to talk. I still wasn't going to get her out of this.

"Emmett, can you come over tomorrow instead?" she asked flatly.

I was just happy she was talking I almost didn't care that there was no inflection in her voice or that her eyes still had a hollow quality to them. She was moving back in and I just needed to keep that door open with a one way sign pointing out.

"Ummm…sure no problem, Bells. Do you have school tomorrow?" I didn't even think of that. She was going to have to go to school. And I couldn't go back with her. None of us here could, we had all already graduated.

I needed a plan. I couldn't leave her at school for hours, alone. She could regress so quickly. I needed to be there with her. But how?

"Yes," she whispered.

"Okay. I'll see you after school then. Jasper, you still there?" he sounded like someone just boiled his puppy in oil.

"Yeah, I'm here, Em. Thanks. You can just go to the house. I'll be by later. Unless Bella wants me to leave now?" I replied, asking her at the same time. Her head slowly turned to look me in the eyes again. I saw another spark flash in her eyes before they teared up again and she shook her head no.

"I guess I'm stayin' for a while then, Em. You and Rose go get settled, hunt if y'all need to. I'm going to have to go tonight sometime," I said while looking in her eyes. Her breath hitched ever so slightly. She was trying not to break down.

"Umm…Bella? Do you think I could drop by for a just minute before we go to the house I have something for you." I knew she couldn't talk. I gave her a pointed look asking what the answer to the question was and she shook her head no.

"Uhhh… Em, I don't think that's a good idea right now. Please, just go to the house. Whatever you have will keep till tomorrow, right?" I asked. Bella's body tensed waiting for his answer. She really didn't want to see him today.

"Sure Bro, no prob," he answered. "We'll see you at the house. Give my lil sis a hug for me. Bye guys." He tried to sound happier at the end but we could both tell that that just hurt him. I looked at her with sad eyes as I took my phone from her.

"Do you understand how much seein' you means to him?" I asked. I didn't want to make her feel bad but I did want her to understand that we didn't just move on.

She turned her head away from me and nodded as her tears silently made their escape down her cheeks. I moved to lean on the headboard and rocked forward grabbing her under the arms and gently moving her to my lap. She curled herself into me. This reminded me of the coffee shop. She felt safe like this and I was happy to comfort her this way. I just wish it wasn't because she was sad. I held her for a while and said nothing. I waited until her tears stopped flowing. Though she never all out cried, I could smell the tears as they welled up in her eyes and felt them drop onto my t-shirt.

Eventually, she stopped and I sat her up forcing her to look me in the eye. I was afraid of what I would see. Afraid she would have retreated once again. She hadn't. She had some light in her eyes and that gave me hope.

"Do you want to talk? I think it would help me understand all of this, if you can tell me what happened after your party until we left." I knew she didn't want to talk about it but how else was she going to get passed it?

Her eyes flashed again. I guessed, given the topic, it was fear. I don't care any flash is better than deadness. She shook her head quickly. I wasn't going to give up that easily.

"Have you told anyone, Bella?" I asked sending her my concerned feelings. Again she shook her head. I sighed heavily. "Bella, you need to get it out. It's literally killin' you to keep all of this in. Please darlin', if you won't tell me will you tell someone? I'll get whoever you want to talk to." My southern accent so dominant because of my worry for her I didn't even notice right away the shiver that it caused in her.

She was statue Bella once again. It took her a while to make the decision so I let her be. Hoping if I waited long enough she would answer. After waiting for five minutes though, I was becoming impatient. This was getting old.

"Bella? Talk to me please," I begged. Humor. Humor works sometimes. I slowly got up from the bed with her in my arms and returned her to the edge of the bed. She sat there looking at me. I'm sure wondering what I was doing so I gave her my signature smirk as I got down on both knees, I took both of her hands in mine.

"Miss Bella, I beseech you to bestow upon me the knowledge that I seek. I kneel before you not as a man in search of the truth but as a vampire in search of an answer with _words_ ," I said as seriously as I could. Chuckling on the inside hoping she would say something. It worked! It worked better than I hoped for.

She gave me a grimace, but I think it was meant to be a forced smile. She was trying! Thank God, Again! If I ever make it up there I'm going to owe him a lot of favors.

I smiled in response to her odd facial expression and looked into her eyes. They still had the vacancy about them but I got a response so I'm not going to be picky.

"Jasper, not today. I will tell you but I just can't today, okay?" I nodded. That was acceptable.

"Ready for that movie then?" I asked. She was still getting out of this house if I had to carry her. Not that that would be a problem. She actually nodded. I knew I was pushing my luck but I thought I'd ask. "Do you want Em and Rose to meet us there or just for us to go?" I was trying to avoid yes/no questions so she had to talk. Her voice is beautiful and I needed to hear more of it.

I wasn't giving her all day to think this through. After a minute I prompted her. "Bella?"

"Yes, I guess they can meet us there, just for the movie, and you call them." I was taken aback. She spoke, she set conditions, and she made a demand. Even without inflection in her voice the sound still made me happy. I pulled my phone out. Emmett was going to be ecstatic. I called them. After his boisterous whooping I told them to meet us at the theater in Port Angeles and we could pick out a movie. I also told him, that they were only invited for the movie, otherwise he could come and see her tomorrow.

I hoped he understood what I was trying to tell him. If not, I'm sure Rose got it. And hopefully she'd explain it to him. Bella didn't want to talk.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

When I got off the phone with Emmett and Rose, I looked towards Bella. She seemed tense but still mostly blank and closed off. I was glad she agreed to meet Emmett, there would have been no living with him, for poor Rose, until tomorrow, and I'm sure he would have gotten on my nerves tonight as well. I took Bella's hand and headed downstairs. Talking was futile at the moment. But, I was hoping to show Charlie that she bounced back a little. I needed him to see that she was better, that I didn't break her even more.

When we got downstairs I looked around the small living room and into the kitchen for him. I listened, his heartbeat was in the garage so I led Bella over there. I didn't ask, didn't look at her. I don't know if she knew what I was doing and I didn't care.

Right now, I needed to bring her to Charlie and she was following along. I opened the door to the garage and found Charlie at his work bench with fishing tackle spread out all over. I smiled at him and walked over.

He had a look that matched the curiousness he was feeling, along with new hope. When we got to him I pulled Bella next to me and put my arm around her shoulders. He glanced at me with a quick look that may have been disapproval but his curiosity was strong. He looked down at Bella and his eyes lit up. He could see it, too.

"Bella, would you like to tell your Dad what we are doin'?" I asked, looking down at her.

Charlie glanced at me and his hope increased tremendously as he looked back at Bella. The emotions he gave off almost reminded me of Alice if there wasn't an undercurrent of sadness and anger. Bella looked up at him, then over to me, and back over to him. I could see and feel just how happy he was that she wasn't looking through him.

"We're going to the movies," she stated simply. Charlie and I both smiled at her.

He drew her in for a big hug and away from me, but I understood. When he let go he continued to hold her at arm's length.

"That's wonderful, baby! What movie?" he was happy. "Ummm…" She looked up at me and shrugged. I chuckled.

"We didn't really discuss it. I guess we'll see what's playin' when we get there," I explained to Charlie.

"Bella, can you tell him who's goin' with us?" Charlie looked back at her and his eyes lit up again.

"Emmett and Rose," she stated.

"When will you guys be back? Will you have dinner out?" Charlie asked.

This time I shrugged and deferred to Bella. I was going to make her say more than eight words to him. I was so glad he asked. She looked between us. I know she was trying to find a way to get out of speaking. I'm not sure why she thought she had to be a mute. We waited. I guess Charlie was used to this game, too.

Finally she responded, "I think we'll be back in time for dinner, dad." Charlie looked to me smiling.

"Will you and your siblings be joining us for dinner, Jasper?" he sounded almost hopeful that I was going to be around. I looked down at Bella.

Wonders will never cease. She found a way to communicate with me without using her voice or her facial expressions. She let me feel her anticipation and longing. I smiled at her and looked up at Charlie.

"I will be joining you for dinner but Emmett and Rose probably needs some time to get settled and Rose will take care of Emmett." I felt her gratefulness. She was communicating. Just not in a way I ever expected.

I still wanted her to explain how she could turn it on and off like that. She was human; she shouldn't be able to do that and obviously she could filter too. She closed the emotional door once her point had been made and I just shook my head slightly. Charlie still held on to her shoulders.

"I'll see you guys later then, I think I'll order pizza for dinner. What do you like on your pizza, Jasper?" I knew I wasn't going to get out of this one.

"Anything's fine, sir." Bella shot me amusement quickly. I looked at her. You'd never know she was amused by looking at her, but she was feeling it and she was opening up to me slowly.

"Be careful kids," Charlie stated. I looked to Bella to respond. She nodded her head at him. I shook my head at her. She knew I wanted her to respond verbally.

"Okay, dad," she said after a short hesitation. He was definitely curious now. I smiled at him and he returned it. I reached out and grabbed Bella's hand and led her back into the house to get our coats.

I helped her into the truck and got in behind the wheel. I started off down the road driving the speed limit. I was going to take this time to try to talk to her. Unfortunately, I didn't know how to say this without sounding condescending but I said it anyway.

"You did really great in there, Bella. I'm proud of you. Charlie was very happy with your responses." She nodded and that was fine.

"Now, Bella, you know when we get to the theater I expect you to talk to Rose and Em too," I drawled out. Trying to use every ounce of persuasion I knew how.

"I know."

"Is there anything else you wanna talk about before we get there?" I asked hoping she would take the lead. She shook her head no. Well Rome wasn't built in a day I guess.

"Bella, can I ask you some questions? Will you answer?"

After another long hesitation she answered, "Jasper, you can ask. I don't know if I'll answer."

"Fair enough, darlin'. I was wonderin' about several things though, would ya like me to just ask one by one or all at once and you can pick what ya want to talk about?" I figured giving her a choice might ensure longer conversations.

"I guess, ask all at once and I'll answer what I want to," she responded. I think other than yelling at me that's the most I've heard her talk since I've been back.

"Okay. Well, as you know I want to know what happened between you and _him_ , but I understand that's a no go topic right now. I also want to know about your relationship with Jacob, since your Dad said he's been the only one allowed to hug you? I'm also wonderin' about school? I want to know your thoughts about things I told you earlier when I said Rose and Emmett were comin' back and you yelled at me? I wanna talk to ya about the coffee shop incident yesterday, too. Is that enough? If not I can keep goin'?" I chucked at the end.

She looked straight ahead and knowing her delayed thought process as of late, I pulled the truck over to the side of the road. She sent me a burst of curiosity and then cut it off.

"Oh and I wanna know how you control your emotions like that, too." I smirked at her. I wasn't going to answer if she didn't ask. I sat staring at her and she sat staring out the window.

"What are you doing?" she finally asked, never looking at me. Anything to avoid answering was my guess. I smirked at her and cocked an eyebrow.

"I think you know."

"Fine, but I have a question first," she responded. I can't believe this was the same Bella. She's dead to the world but when she spoke, she was strong. Maybe that's what she was doing while she was hiding out on the inside, getting stronger? Does that happen?

"What?" I asked curiously.

She looked over at me and her eyes held a bit more spark. If I wasn't a vampire with excellent eyesight myself I wouldn't have been able to tell the difference but it was there.

"What did you mean you were wondering about school?" Ahh a conversation is ahead.

"Well frankly, darlin', I don't want to leave you all day while you are at school but technically I already graduated an' so did Em an' Rose. Now, I had an idea, but you're gonna have to let me know what you want." I was learning her game. She was going to have to ask if she wanted me to go on.

"K?" she questioned. I shook my head at her. Not good enough.

"Why can't I go to school by myself? I've been doing it for months." She still had no feeling in her voice. I knew she had to be angry about that one, but I couldn't tell.

"Well because you try harder when I'm around. Therefore, I wanna be around." Tears welled up in her eyes.

"Jasper, quit trying, it doesn't matter, go home, be with your _family,_ " her voice was shaky and it broke on the last word.

'Shit! Fix it! Fix it!' my brain was yelling at me. I couldn't have her showing up to the theater in tears. Emmett would kill me.

"Bella? Bella, please don't cry. I am home. I told you, I'm not leavin'. I know you don't believe me but there's no way I can prove it to you, other than to stay by your side." Shit, I was going to do this now. And it's only been 2 days.

"Bella, I like you, okay? I know it's soon and I just broke up with Alice and you just well… you're goin' through your own shit. Just please don't send me away. I don't want to go. I was forced to leave here once and it ruined my family and my marriage. If I have to leave again, I have nothin' left and neither do you."

I don't know what I just said. 'Oh MY God! Did I just spew forth that shit? It's all true but did I just blame her? WTF!? SHIT!'

I did the only thing I could think of. I scooted over to her, got down on my knees on the floor board in front of her and laid my head in lap and cried, again.

I dry sobbed and pleaded, "Don't make me go! Please?" I have cried more today in front of this woman than I have in my entire existence! I felt her hand run through my hair and I looked up at her. She kept her hand tangled in my hair and her eyes were full of tears. Her cheeks stained with the old ones. I reached up one of my hands and wiped away her tears as I composed myself.

"Bella, we never should have left, it was my fault that we did. I don't blame you for anythin'. And darlin', I'm sorry I keep fallin' apart on ya." I tried to smile at the end. I think it worked.

"It's my turn to talk for a minute, darlin'. What I just said was all true. You became a part of our family and we left because _he_ told us to, we did so but with reservation. I know you think we just up and moved but that isn't how it happened. We fought, _all of us_. And frankly, the only one who wanted to leave was the asshole. We did it for _him_ because you were _his_ girlfriend. _He_ didn't want you to be in our world, Bella. We are dangerous creatures. I'm especially dangerous when I'm in a room full of bloodthirsty vampires. But _he_ loves you, _he_ loved you enough to leave you, to make you safe. _He_ doesn't know I'm here, we're here. But seeing what our leavin' has done to you, convinces me that I will NEVER leave again! Unless you tell me to," I added the last sentence quietly but loud enough for her to hear. I looked into her eyes beseeching her to ask me to stay.

"Jasper, that's a lot of information. I don't want you to leave. But everything you just told me changes the way I saw things. I'm sure you know that. I need some time to process that stuff. I know you want me to be this talkative normal kind of person but I need to take some time for myself now. Is that okay?"

I hugged her to me. She wanted me to stay. That's all I heard. She wanted me to stay! Everything else I could work with. She was going to allow me to be around so I could save her. I smiled tentatively and nodded at her. I would give her time.

She looked at me and it was like flipping a fucking switch. A switch I wish I could figure out how it worked and then break it so it was only one way.

SHIT! Her eyes dimmed, her body sagged, her head hung down and she was gone again. FUCK!

"FUCK!" I yelled.

She didn't even flinch. How does she do that? Is that normal? I rubbed my face with my hands and raked them through my hair.

"Bella?" I said my voice cracked. I was going to lose it again.

"Bella, darlin'? Do you still wanna go to the movie? See Emmett and Rose?" I asked. Please let her answer, please! I waited because that was the usual. My bottom lip was trembling slightly and I felt the venom pool in my eyes though it would never fall.

Five minutes passed. "Bella, I need to know where we should go, darlin'," I prompted her.

She looked up and through me. I grabbed her hands. "Please baby, answer me!" I stared in her empty chocolate orbs.

"We can still go," she answered in a whisper.

I nodded and returned to the driver's seat. I didn't like that she was so far emotionally, mentally, or physically so I did the only thing I could to fix one of those issues. I reached over, grabbed her by the waist, and slid her across the bench into my side. We drove the rest of the way in silence with my arm around Bella's shoulders.

I saw Emmett's jeep when I pulled into the lot and went to find a nearby space. Go figure the 70+ year old vampire was jumping up and down in the space next to his jeep waving us over. I looked over at Bella. Nothing. I sighed. I didn't know what Emmett's reaction was going to be but I knew he was going to be heartbroken. I pulled into the 'suggested' parking space. And immediately saw Emmett surveying the situation. He gave me a funny look and he was upset, curious, and confused. Rose stepped out of the jeep and joined Emmett. She was feeling nervous and guilty but as she looked at us she also became curious.

I turned the truck off and held my finger up towards Em and Rose suggesting they give me a minute. Emmett's brows furrowed but he didn't move. I looked down at Bella she was still looking straight ahead.

"Bella, I know you know we are here and this all a lot to take in at once. I'm sorry about that, darlin'. Do you want to go greet Emmett and Rose or would you prefer to go straight into the movie and maybe talk to them for a few minutes afterwards?" I honestly felt like I was talking to a child and I didn't mean to treat her that way. But that seemed to be the natural reaction to someone that was mostly comatose.

Emmett became angry as soon as I asked Bella that question but he didn't know what was going on. He stepped towards the truck and again I held my finger up. He stopped but his anger was growing and so was Rose's curiosity.

Finally, I grabbed her chin and turned her face towards me. She let me. Blank Bella was still present but I pressed for an answer.

"Bella? They are waiting." And with that I turned her head to look towards Emmett and Rosalie. They saw. They saw that she wasn't there, that she was looking around them, through them, past them, definitely not at them.

Rose gasped and Emmett growled too low for human ears. Rose grabbed Emmett's arm either for support or to stop him I'm not sure. I turned her head back towards me and quirked my eyebrow signaling that I was waiting for answer too.

"Now is fine," she answered.

I hopped out of the truck and turned to lift her out. I didn't ask. She was pretty much back to being a rag doll. Emmett and Rose came around the back of the truck to where we were standing. I turned Bella to face them. They gaped. I couldn't say that I blamed them; it was seriously like looking at a zombie. And since she'd slept better for the last two nights she actually looked better than when I got here.

They both looked up at me. I nodded towards Bella. No one said anything so I decided to intervene. I stepped in between them.

"Bella, this is Emmett and this is Rose," I said pointing out the people as I introduced them.

I faced Emmett and Rose. "Guys, this is Bella," I introduced with a sad smile.

Emmett stepped forward and I moved out of the way. I didn't know how she was going to react but I could feel his anger, concern, and longing. I'm sure he was going to hug her.

"Hey Bells, it's good to see you again. Thanks, for lettin' us come to movie with you guys." Emmett tried to sound chipper as he walked up to her and hugged her gently. She didn't respond.

"Hello Bella, it's wonderful to see you again," Rosalie said tentatively and fiddled with her hands in front of her unsure of what to do. I knew this was going to be uncomfortable. But there was no way to stop it. I also knew they needed to see the result of Fuckward's choices. I looked over to Emmett who had stepped back next to Rose and was becoming increasingly uncomfortable and sad.

"Shall we?" I asked.

I didn't know what to do. This wasn't an everyday kind of situation. We all turned and headed towards the theater. Emmett bought tickets and the rest of us went to the concessions counter.

"Bella, do ya want anythin'?" I asked.

She shook her head no.

"What kind of drink do you want, Bella?" I asked.

She looked up at me but didn't say anything. Finally, I felt a little frustration come from her and then it was gone. I smirked.

"A medium cherry coke and a small popcorn, please?" I ordered. She was still looking at me and let me feel her frustration again. Rose just watched us.

When the cashier brought us the food I handed it to Bella roughly. She took it almost dropping the drink if I still hadn't been holding on to it. The four of us headed for the theater and Rose leaned back to quirk an eyebrow at me and a nod towards Bella in question. I smiled.

"I thought Emmett would like some popcorn," I stated as if it was the most normal thing.

"What the hell?" Emmett whispered.

I chuckled.

"Well Em, the way I see it I had to eat eggs for breakfast yesterday, the least you could do is eat popcorn today. Besides, I'm gonna have to eat pizza when I get back to her house."

"Dude, I understand eating when Charlie is around but it's just us. Why would I eat popcorn?"

I smiled. I hoped this was going to work. We took our seats with Bella between me and Emmett and Rose on the other side of Emmett. I still hadn't answered Emmett so he knew something was coming. "Bella, eat your popcorn," I stated blandly.

She shook her head.

Well, so far that was what I expected.

I whispered to Emmett to eat a piece so Bella couldn't hear. He looked at me, but I think he got where I was going with this. He reached over and picked up a piece of popcorn and ate it. I smirked. I picked up a piece of popcorn and held it in front of Bella's mouth.

I waited about 30 seconds before I said, "Bella, open." And she did. I popped the popcorn in and she chewed and swallowed it. I may have enjoyed watching that a bit too much. I picked up another piece and held it in front of her. She shook her head.

This time, Emmett without prompting picked up another piece of popcorn and popped it in his mouth. Bella hesitated and then opened her mouth and I deposited the kernel on her tongue. I smirked over at Emmett who sat there dumbfounded and Rosalie was chuckling silently. I picked up another piece and held it in front of her. She stared straight ahead. Emmett gave me a pleading look; I chuckled and shook my head. I knew Bella was playing him to a point but she needed to eat. He ate another piece and Bella opened her mouth.

After feeding her about 30 individual pieces throughout the movie while Emmett also ate exactly 30 pieces, it was quite clear none of us were watching the movie. I had moved to kneel before Bella whose stare was fixed on me or through me but her eyes had become slightly more focused. I was gently placing each kernel in her mouth and I never got tired of having my fingers near her mouth, watching her lips close, her mouth move as she chewed, and then her throat convulse with each swallow. I could do this all day.

Emmett was watching me and Bella and Rose was cracking up every time Emmett ate a piece of popcorn. He was just swallowing them whole. Bella was eating diligently and had voluntarily taken a couple sips of her pop never breaking our eye connection.

This whole situation was reminiscent of the egg situation yesterday. I wondered what she thought about, while we did this. I couldn't say I kept count how much popcorn I fed Bella because I was more interested in the visual than the actual pieces. Emmett probably knew exactly how many pieces he'd ate though. I chuckled internally at all the popcorn he ate. We left when the lights came on and there were only a few sparse pieces of popcorn at the bottom of the bag.

We were headed out of the theater and I was leading Bella by the hand when Emmett grabbed me by the arm and stopped me.

"Dude, can I talk to you for a minute?" I looked at Bella. She was staring at the floor.

"Bella, will you be okay with Rose if I go to the restroom with Emmett? I'm sure he ate somethin' that didn' agree with him," I said with a chuckle.

Rose laughed and Emmett glared at me. Bella looked up, her eyes sparked again. She was on her way back. It seemed that each time it was a bit easier to get her back.

"I'll be fine," she stated. I stuck my hand in my pants pocket and pulled out the truck keys.

"Here, you guys can go hang out in the truck." I handed her my keys. She nodded and walked off for the truck. Rose looked at me questioningly, her emotions revealing her anxiety and nervousness at being alone with Bella.

"You can try to talk to her, but don't bring up anythin' significant," I said.

She nodded and followed after Bella. It was twilight out and the parking lot lights were beginning to buzz as they came on. Briefly, I worried about Bella being out there. But she was with Rose and I knew she'd be safe.

I turned towards Emmett.

"Well?"

He walked away from me with a disgusted look on his face and headed for the men's room. I chuckled and followed. I'm sure he wanted more than just an audience while he got rid of his popcorn.

When he was done he turned to me and said, "This is fucked up, dude!" I smirked at him.

"Which part?" I asked.

"All of it. I just ate popcorn so Bella would eat popcorn. She looks horrible, dude. What the HELL happened to her?" he asked exasperated.

"Emmett, I told you last night. Did you think I was making it up?" I gave him a pointed 'I told you so' look.

"Well, I guess I thought you were exaggerating, man. I just didn't think someone could be like that. She didn't even say 'hi' or hug me back," he stated feeling as defeated as he sounded.

I slapped him on the back. "Man, you can't let it git to you. She does better when you have expectations, when you demand something from her. Everyone else around her has been lettin' her just be and that wasn't workin'. I push her, I demand things from her, and I force feed her." I looked at him to know how serious I was.

"This is all entirely _his_ fault, Em. _He_ doesn't know that _he_ broke her, but _he_ left her without a second glance back to make sure she was okay. She was found in the forest after having been out in the rain for 11 hours by herself. She was nearly catatonic then. She's not much better now. But Em she's better now than when I got here two days ago. If you can believe that! Charlie has let me into his home. He sees that I'm makin' her better. I'm havin' dinner with them tonight and then I'll come home so we can come up with a game plan. I need to hunt though and I have to go back to help them sleep. She looks so much better after two nights of sleep, it's unreal."

If Emmett could pale, I think he just may have.

"She looked worse?" he asked.

I sighed.

"I told you this, Emmett, the circles under her eyes now are nothing compared to what they were two nights ago. She has nightmares, frequently." He was still defeated and angry.

"I can stay with her while you hunt," he offered.

"Em, if it's okay with her that's fine. But I _help_ them sleep. I know you want to help too, but I have to be there for the sleeping portion," I stated.

"You help Charlie too?" he asked curious.

I just nodded.

Just then I felt anger and fear and lots of it. I looked wide-eyed at Emmett who had no clue what I just felt and then I took off running at a fast human speed looking for what was going on. I heard Emmett call to me and then he caught up.

"What's up?" he asked. I couldn't hear anything but I could definitely feel it.

"Fear and anger, lots of it," I replied. We got to the parking lot and it was coming from where our cars were parked. Yeah, this was my nightmare. I never expected what I saw happening.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

I stopped in my tracks. Emmett slowed down but he continued on. He needed to help them and fast. I needed to get control of the situation but I couldn't get too close. Emmett walked up and wrapped his arm around Rosalie's waist securing her to his side. It looked just like something any boyfriend would do.

"Hey Babe, what'cha doin'?" he asked as he wrenched her subtly away from the figure against his jeep. She was stiff in his arms but didn't fight him as he walked her back to lean her up against my truck.

My truck, the truck that Bella was sitting in.

'Okay Major, get control of the situation,' my brain told me.

They needed to find this situation funny. I sent out humor and happiness. And I slowly walked towards them. Emmett began to laugh, Rose began to chuckle, and the man that she had pinned up against the side of the jeep started cracking up. Okay, maybe I put a little too much into it, but it was Rose I was worried about.

The man she had pinned up against the jeep was laughing so hard he was doubled over. I whispered from a distance for them to get out of here. Knowing they'd be able to hear me without alerting the man. I knew why Rose attacked him but Emmett needed to get her out of here before she did something she'd regret.

"Let's get you home, baby," Em stated as he walked Rose around to the passenger side of the jeep and put her in. She was still chuckling but her eyes were pitch black with hunger. I walked over holding my breath and guided the hysterical man away from the jeep so they could leave.

Emmett took off and I reigned in the emotions I was sending out.

"What was that all about, man?" I asked the guy as I leaned him against the back of my truck like a drunk.

"I have no idea, man," he chuckled out. He was probably in his early 30's short dark hair, goatee, green eyes and slightly overweight. He was wearing a dark concert t-shirt, jean shorts, and tennis shoes. Despite it being January he had no coat on. I felt the hunger subside as Emmett and Rose left. The burn returned to normal but I was slightly more aware of it than before.

He was still chuckling as I started sending him waves of calm so he could regain composure. He began talking again.

"I saw the two girls standing out here; they weren't talking just standing there so I came to see if they were having car problems. Neither of them looked too happy. I just asked if they needed any help and the blond pushed me up against the side of the car and started sniffing my neck," he said with a chuckle as he shook his head. "It was honestly kind of hot at first but when I told her I was married and not interested, I tried to move and she pushed me back. I tried to push against her but that chick is fucking strong!" He looked me in the eye this time. A little bit of his fear came back. Well humans were supposed to fear us.

"Say, I didn't do anything, man. I swear!" he emphasized. "I was just trying to help out and she went all psycho-nympho on me or something."

I laughed at that statement.

She was sniffing her dinner and he thought she was going to try to rape him or something. Priceless!

"Dude, she's just a horny bitch. Don't worry about her, her man will make sure she's taken care of. Go home to your family and have a nice night," I told him while I patted him on the back and walked towards the driver's door of my truck, shaking my head.

"Yeah, dude. Have a good night." He walked away feeling confused and humorous. That man had no clue how close he came to being dinner tonight. I shook my head as I got in the truck.

"Are you okay, darlin'?" I asked Bella. She looked at me as I spoke. She was still there and my heart soared a little knowing that that scene didn't scare her back into her head.

"What happened?" she asked. Even better she just initiated a conversation, sort of.

"Is what the man said true? Did he just come to ask you guys if you needed help and Rose attacked him?" I already knew it was. I couldn't sense anything from him that said otherwise, that's why I let him go. She nodded her head. I quirked an eyebrow and nodded my head for her to continue.

"He just asked if we were having car trouble and Rose pushed him against the car like he said. I got scared, so I got in the truck. I thought maybe he was going to attack us and that's why Rose attacked him first," she spoke slowly, but there was a little touch of feeling in her voice. For the first time since I got here her voice was not monotone.

"Well, he wasn't trying to attack anyone, Bella. He really just thought maybe you guys needed help." I started the truck and began heading for Forks. "His blood called to her, like your does to…" I almost said his name, damn it. I needed to be careful! She looked out the windshield.

"Bella, that was your fear I was feeling when I was still in the building, right?" I knew it was. The man was only slightly afraid of Rose but it did not account for the fear I felt. I wanted her to tell me about it. Did she just say she was scared the man was going to attack them? She wasn't scared that Rose was getting ready to have a meal? Leave it to Bella. Her words brought me out of my reverie.

"I did it on purpose, so you guys would come and help," she stated as if she was discussing the social page in the newspaper. I gaped at her.

"You can give off that strong of an emotion, voluntarily?" I really didn't think I wanted to know the answer. She just nodded her head. Even more surprising how did she know she could do that? Something was going on and I need to find out what.

"Bella, how can you do that? How did you even know it would work? Which it did, by the way." I was very confused not to mention pissed that she was so close to Rose who had been losing it.

I waited patiently for her to answer.

"I didn't," was all she said.

"You didn't know it worked? Or you didn't know you could do that?" I asked.

"I didn't know if it would work," she responded quietly.

"Okay, so how did you know you could do that?" That was the real question along with how she can just turn it on and off from me. The answer to that question might get me closer to the answer to the other one.

"Well, I knew I could do it because it's worked every other time I've tried to let you feel my emotions. This time it had to be something that would make you come quickly so I had to-" she trailed off. At that point I guessed what she had to do.

"You had to scare yourself?" I asked.

She nodded.

"You used the memory from the day _he_ left didn't you?"

I needed to know. Was this what she was feeling after he left her? It was sheer terror. She slowly nodded her head. My instinct was to growl. He made her feel that! What did he do to her? I really wanted to put my arm around her and bring her close to my side but I didn't. Between my own thirst and Rose's recent encounter with her singer, I couldn't be sure that Bella was safe that close to me. Her scent was already intoxicating as it swirled around in the warm cab of the truck. It didn't help that I was murderously enraged at Fuckward right now either.

I explained to her that I had wanted to hold her but I didn't think it was a good idea right now. She just nodded her head.

"Bella, I don't think I'm gonna be able to stay for dinner tonight either. I need to hunt. But I will be back in time for bed, okay?"

She simply nodded.

"Are you gonna eat dinner?" I really wanted to know if she thought she could eat. She seemed to debate about it just a little too long.

"Bel-la," I growled.

"I'm not that hungry," she stated.

"Bella, would you eat if I was there to eat with you?"

I really didn't want to eat pizza and I needed to hunt but if she'd eat with me, then she was the priority. I'd eat the pizza and leave right after to hunt.

"Maybe," she answered. Gosh she's a brat!

"Would you eat if Emmett was there to eat with you?" I asked.

I didn't know if he'd do it since he just got done with popcorn but it would be safer for her and Charlie if it wasn't me. She shook her head no. Well that answers that question.

"So you wanna torture me is that it?" I asked with a chuckle.

She looked over at me with a blankness that slowly became sad.

"It's torture for me," she said quietly in a sad voice. And then the blankness returned. Not in full, thank heavens, but it was back.

"Bella why? Why is eating torture?" I was surprised by her answer and saddened by it. Did she really want to torture me? I was just joking.

"You don't like it any more than I do, but for a different reason," she stated in a monotone voice. That was back.

"Well we all know my reason, what's yours?" I asked. Hoping she would answer. I still knew so little about what was going on with her.

She looked down to her lap and answered, "I don't wanna live. Food keeps me alive and I don't want to be alive anymore. It doesn't taste good. And, I don't get hungry anymore."

'OH SHIT! What do I do? If I say the wrong thing she's going to retreat.'

What I really wanted to do was shake her until she saw some sense! Holy Cow! She really wanted to die!

"Bella? Have you tried to kill yourself? Or hurt yourself in any other way?" I needed to know how far this has gone. Hopefully, she'd tell me the truth.

"No and yes," she answered after a few minutes.

Deep calming breaths whether I need them or not.

'I can't yell, I can't yell, I can't yell. I _can_ kill Fuckward! I _can_ hunt the mother fucker down and shred him until he looks like he was attacked with a cheese grater.'

"Bella. Please tell me. I won't tell Charlie, I promise," I asked as calmly as I could through gritted teeth. I already knew she'd be worried he would find out. He had told me he was worried about her but he said she hadn't done anything else to hurt herself. I guess he was wrong.

"Jasper, all I do every day is wish for death. Wish for a bus to hit me, a building to collapse on me, an animal to attack me. But, I can't do it myself. I've learned to cope by cutting myself. The sight of blood makes me faint and for a while I don't have to deal with anything. I feel better for a short time. It doesn't take a lot of blood. When I do it, I don't have to feel. I go numb. It's easier now. I don't do it as much as I did in the beginning. I haven't done it since you've been back because I don't want you to smell it. You already blame yourself for what happened and I won't let it be an accident. But Jasper… if you want a willing human, I'm here," she spoke directly too her hands with the exception of the last sentence, the words where she offered herself to me for a meal. I'm glad I didn't eat the popcorn because I thought I was going to be sick.

Cheese grater isn't good enough. I'm going to shred him and burn half. I pulled the truck over. We were almost to her house and I couldn't drive anymore, nor could I have this conversation at her home.

"Bella, I'm so sorry for all that you have been through, darlin'. I truly am. But honey, you have plenty to live for. I know it may not feel like it, but that's because you've stopped feelin'. Please think about how your parents would feel. How I would feel and my whole family. I know you're upset with us and I can't say I blame you, but don't let yourself be ruined by _him_. Let me stay with you, help you, for as long as it takes? I've told you before, I. Will. Not. Leave. You," I pleaded with her. I didn't know what I could say to make it better.

I went for the truth. "Bella, if I have to eat 3 meals a day for the next 20 years for you I will. And I'm serious, darlin'." She looked up at me and tears began to well in her eyes. Any hunger I was feeling earlier had easily been replaced by revulsion and anger so I reached over and dragged her to sit in my lap. She curled up there and let the tears fall.

Ten minutes later she asked, "Really?"

"Yes!" was all I could say as I sent her my emotions. Seriousness and love. I couldn't tell her I loved her. Not yet. But I could let her feel it, feel the love from one person to another. Not my true love for her, she couldn't handle that yet and I didn't think I could either.

"Let's get you home. I can't wait to have some pizza," I said excitedly. She just looked at me. Not any real emotion but I could tell she was trying. She was trying to come back from the black hole she had put herself in. I cleaned the tears off her cheeks and left her curled up in my lap while I drove her home. Totally illegal and totally worth it. I always wanted her in my arms.

We got to her house and had pizza. Yep, I ate 1.5 slices and so did she. We weren't quite as blatant about it as we were with the eggs or popcorn but we still made eye contact with every bite. Charlie was glad to see she was still responding to him. He invited me to stay for the evening but I declined letting him know I needed to go see Emmett and Rose. Bella walked me to the door and I kissed her cheek goodbye. Charlie saw us from the living room and smiled gently at me. I was winning him over and hopefully Bella too.

I got home, got rid of my pizza while Emmett and Rose laughed at me. Then I went to hunt. I made sure to eat all I could while I was out. I needed to get back to Bella's but I needed to talk with Rose and Emmett, too.

I told them about the conversation I had with Bella in the truck. Rose vehemently apologized for the incident in the parking lot. Though she was angry with herself, she was glad Emmett and I saved the day, as it were. She had now experienced her singer and he lived to tell the tale. We were proud of her. She managed to argue with her animal side long enough for help to get there. Or as Emmett put it, she played with her food long enough. That earned him a smack in the back of the head.

I asked Emmett and Rose what they thought of my idea for helping Bella out at school and explaining to Charlie why I was there. They enthusiastically agreed it was a good idea. Rose would take care of the records tonight while I was at Bella's and we decided Emmett could escort Bella to school, assuming she was willing. Then I would go talk to administration tomorrow at the beginning of the day to get things squared away. I headed over to Bella's house when all that was settled.

I let myself in the front door after making sure Charlie was in his room. I made my way to Bella's room and checked Charlie's emotions, heart rate, and breathing to determine he was asleep and sent him some lethargy to keep him that way. Bella was sitting in the middle of her bed with the lamp on reading her newly acquired book. I smirked at that.

"Waiting for me?" I asked.

She looked at me and nodded.

"About tomorrow, darlin'. I know we didn't get a chance to talk about school since you yelled at me and such, could we talk real quick before you go to bed?" I asked her tentatively hoping she didn't start yelling again.

She nodded again.

'Glad to know her neck muscles work so well,' I thought sarcastically.

I walked over to the side of the bed, took my shoes off and sat down next to her. She started to scoot over to make room, instead I grabbed her under the arms picked her up and scooted myself under her. Placing her gently back down in my lap. I was really probably taking advantage but I just couldn't help myself. If she would have argued I would have let her move but she didn't.

"Well Emmett, Rose, and I have come up with a plan and I know you said you didn't need to be babysat at school, so I thought we could compromise. What do you think?" I asked her as I wrapped my arms securely around her waist and pulled her closer into me, smelling her wonderful freesia and vanilla scent along with her strawberry shampoo.

She nodded again and I growled in warning at her.

Growling had proved effective in the past. It worked this time too.

"Well that depends, what did you have in mind?" she asked.

"See now, that is a question and different from a head nod," I chuckled at her to let her know I wasn't mad. I held her and told her my idea. She agreed that that would be okay and she was even agreeable to Emmett bringing her to and from school. She also agreed that he could hang around after school tomorrow but asked that Rose stay home. She was still setting limits and I was willing to work with her on that. I asked her one more question before I put her bed.

"Bella? You said you've been cuttin' yourself, where? How bad?" I asked tentatively. I really wanted to know but I was scared of the answer. She scooted out of my lap and turned to face me.

"Do you want me to tell you or show you?" she asked while looking me in the eye with a distant look.

"Whichever you prefer, darlin'."

She pulled up her shirt to show me her stomach. I thought seeing her in the parking lot earlier today with a ravenous vampire was my worst nightmare. I thought wrong. What I saw on her stomach were so many scars I couldn't even discern where some began and others ended. I knew I had my own scars but mine weren't voluntary. She easily had a hundred scars and about 10 that were scabbed over. I couldn't believe I didn't smell that. I think because she's had them since I've been back. I just assumed the strength of her smell was just her. I shook my head and pulled her into me.

I hugged and rocked her. Comforting myself as much as her. She shouldn't have to do this. She should be a happy, beautiful, strong, young woman. She appeared to be stronger when she did use her voice but she didn't voice her needs and opinions often. After a few minutes I turned her to look me in the eye and held her chin in place.

"Anywhere else, Bella?" I asked.

She nodded and my stomach churned again.

"Where?" I asked.

She started to move and I held her firmly.

"Tell me?" I requested.

Never letting her look away, though she tried to free her chin. She finally closed her eyes. She couldn't look me in the eye and tell me. My heart was breaking again. I didn't know how much more of this I could take. She was so broken. I would save Bella if it's the last thing I did. She opened her eyes again and they were full of tears this time.

"My thighs," she whispered so quietly if I hadn't been a vampire I wouldn't have heard her.

I pulled back in and hugged her.

"No more Bella, please? Let me help you. Please? No more." I asked.

She let me feel her acceptance and sadness. I wasn't prepared and the sadness was overwhelming.

"Bella, do you feel like that all the time?" I choked out.

"Yes," she answered and continued, "the cutting helps me to numb it. I think that is how I learned to control what you feel from me. I learned how to block my pain from the outside world. I deserve to suffer; you shouldn't have to feel this."

I shook my head.

"Bella, quit puttin' that wall up and let me help you, darlin'. I can help. You don't deserve this. No one deserves to feel the pain that you are feelin'. You did nothin' wrong. Why do you think you deserve this?" I had to ask, I truly do not understand her.

"I'm nothing special, Jasper. I knew I wasn't good enough for…" Her pain spiked and she couldn't finish her sentence.

"Who said you weren't good enough for _him_? Frankly Bella, you were too good for _him. He_ didn't deserve you," I stated with conviction.

" _He_ did," she whispered.

I couldn't stop the growl that came up, but it didn't scare her.

"Bella, please tell me what happened that day?"

She shook her head.

"Not today."

I nodded.

"Okay. Get some rest, sweetheart, we're still on for tomorrow right?" I couldn't push her. I couldn't lose how vocal she had become tonight. She nodded and we both scooted to lie on the bed.

She got under the covers and I tucked her in, similarly to the night before and brought her against my chest. She was asleep within five minutes on her own. I just let her be for a while until her fear and sadness spiked and it was too much to bear. Then I calmed her and kept her that way for the rest of the night. I didn't help Charlie much that night. I realized his lack of sleep was due to Bella's screaming. So as long as she slept well, he should too. I shot Emmett a text letting him know he was on in the morning. And spent the rest of the night trying to figure out how I could save the angel in my arms.

Granted when I thought of everything she told me today I also thought about the many ways to kill Fuckward. I also needed to decide what to do about the wolves. I thought a call with Carlisle would be good. Or, I guess I could speak with Rosalie. She was here when the treaty was made, I think. I needed to know if the treaty was still good. They didn't hide it well that they were mad today. Very mad. I can't say that I blame them, but I was going to fix this. I know they don't want us anywhere near humans. And frankly, I don't want that uncontrollable animal near Bella. I wondered if she knew what they were? Just one more question to add to my growing list.

I felt like I had more questions than answers.

I also had to prepare myself mentally for tomorrow. I wasn't looking forward to it but I knew it was the right thing on some level. Emmett and Rose were also working on a story as to why they were here. I knew why I was here. Well the story for the public anyway.

Charlie was first up this morning so I hid again, while he checked on Bella. His happiness and relief for Bella was welcoming compared to the emotions she was giving off. I crawled back onto the bed with her and woke her up when it was time.

"Good mornin', darlin'," I drawled heavily to try to start to her day on a positive note.

She looked at me and nodded, she grabbed her stuff and headed for the bathroom. I stayed until she was ready to join Charlie for breakfast.

"I'll see you in a little bit, don't forget to tell Charlie that Emmett is taking you to school."

She nodded and I walked over and gave her a hug.

"Please, darlin'. Know that everythin' is gonna be okay."

She nodded again and I gave her the look.

"I know, Jasper. I just don't feel like talking right now."

I nodded in reply with a smirk.

"You are gonna tell Charlie, right?" I asked again to make sure that she was verbal enough for that.

She nodded.

I sighed.

"We are gonna work on this head bobbin' thing, darlin'. I'm afraid you're gonna hurt your neck." I smiled at her.

She looked at me and let me feel her amusement before she reeled her feelings back in.

I knew she said it was a conscious effort but I almost thought maybe it wasn't. I couldn't feel her emotions when I got here and that was before she knew I was here. She's not keeping them from just me. She's shielding herself from everyone. The blank stares and lack of intonation are all part of it too. I hugged her again and left out the window to go get ready for my first day of school.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

I made my way to the Administration Office about nine o'clock. Emmett had already gotten Bella and brought her to school.

When he came back after dropping her off he was very upset.

"Dude, she's just not Bells anymore," he stated solemnly.

"I know man. She was better today though, right?" I asked making sure that she didn't regress after I left.

He nodded and added, "Yeah, she said 'Hi' to me today and she explained to Charlie why I was there when I got there. He was surprised to see me."

I scoffed at that sentence. She was supposed to tell Charlie _before_ Emmett got there.

"Emmett, you should know somethin' else. I know she'll prob'ly be mad at me for tellin' ya but I promised not to tell Charlie. I didn't say anythin' about tellin' you and Rose."

At that moment Rose came into my office where I was printing off the papers I needed to bring with me to school.

"She's been cuttin' on herself," I said with a grimace. I figured there was no sense in beating around the bush on this one. I thought it was important too, in case she did it when we were around. We needed to be prepared for the blood. At least that was what I was telling myself.

"WHAT?" Emmett bellowed.

Rose just flinched. She was sad and angry. Emmett was enraged. If he could have turned red or even purple he would have at that moment.

"She's been hurting herself over that ASSHOLE?" Emmett asked through gritted teeth.

I simply nodded.

"Her stomach and legs. Charlie doesn't know. You can't tell him either." I made a point to say that looking both of them in the eye. The both nodded.

"How did you find out?" Rose asked.

"She told me," I answered as I went to put my shoes on.

They followed me into my bedroom.

"Dude, when I picked her up this morning she smelled kind of strong but I didn't think anything about it. Is she still doing it?" he asked.

"I hope not, Em. I asked her not to and she agreed. She said she hadn't done it since I've back because… because she didn't want me to lose it and blame myself. But… GOD!" I yelled at the end. I couldn't even say it.

"But what?" they both asked at the same time.

"She said if I… I 'wanted a willing human'… she's available," I choked out the last few words. The thought of it just made me sick.

They gaped at me. I don't think anyone moved for a full 5 or 6 minutes. The anger in the room was stifling. I was angry also but too disgusted to let the anger take over.

"Listen guys, I know this is all just nuts. But right now we have to go slow with her, let her come to us essentially. Emmett, did you talk to her about after school?" I asked trying to get them to calm down without manipulating their emotions, because frankly, they deserved to be pissed.

"Well, I told Charlie I would pick her up from school too and he said he was glad we were there to help. He pulled me aside and told me that if we caused her anymore harm he was going to 'end us'," he chuckled as he made air quotes around the last two words.

I smiled. "Yeah, I got somethin' similar from him the other day."

"Well, anyhow I told him I would pick her up and stay with her until he got home. He asked where you were gonna be. I told him you'd probably stay with Rose so she wasn't at the house by herself. He nodded and asked why we didn't all just come over to keep her company. Bella actually answered." He was happy with this statement. I smiled. I'm glad she's talking to Charlie.

"Well, what'd she say?" I asked impatiently.

He smirked at me. "She said, she just wanted to spend some time with me," he answered, projecting brotherly love at that statement.

Rose felt a twinge of jealousy but I didn't say anything if she wasn't going to. I had already told them that Bella wanted only Emmett to stay with her after school.

"Rose, you know this has nothin' to do with yesterday, right?" I directed my question to her. She gave me a quizzical look and shook her head.

"No, honestly I thought she was either scared of me or mad at me for what I did. I couldn't blame her for not wanting to see me today," she said sadly.

I went over and put my arm around her and had to chuckle. Now she was curious.

"Rose, this is Bella, she actually thought you were protectin' her. And when I told her that the guy was your singer, she didn't really care." Rose was astonished. Emmett was proud. I just laughed.

"Well, I have to say I have a better appreciation for what Edward went through with her. I don't know how he did it. I barely managed and probably wouldn't have if it hadn't been for you guys. Thank you." She was embarrassed by her lack of control.

"I know it's hard, Rosalie. I could feel your thirst as strongly as you could. It was always difficult for me around Bella when Edward was around, that's why I always kept my distance from her." They both looked at me.

"Jazz! We didn't know our thirst affected you!" Rosalie yelled.

I shrugged.

"There's nothing that can be done about it. Fuckward knew that's why I kept my distance and so did Alice. Carlisle knew because we've talked about it. Sorry, I didn' tell y'all. I just didn' think it was important."

Emmett sighed. "Dude, all the times I thought you just had sucky control, you're tellin' me you were controlling yourself with the thirst of 6 or more vampires? Holy Shit!"

I smiled. "Em, there's nothin' we could do about it and I'm used to it. Bella was just difficult to be around. But since Fuckward isn't here it's no big deal, especially when I'm alone with her. None of this compares to an army of bloodthirsty newborns." I shrugged it off.

"Jazz, I'm sorry, if I would have known I would have hunted more when we were around large groups of people to try to reduce my own thirst. You should have said something," Rosalie stated a bit perturbed.

I rolled my eyes.

"It really wasn't that big of a deal guys but, thank you," I reiterated.

"So back to Bella, does she hate me? I want to explain to her why I acted the way I did. Do you think she'll ever talk to me?" Rose was feeling quite insecure.

I knew she wasn't the bitch everyone thought she was. It was her front because she was insecure. She used her attitude and her relationship with Emmett to feel better about herself. She loved him there was no question there, but she didn't love herself. We both knew the truth, sometimes I'd send her some confidence which she usually appreciated. But otherwise we didn't acknowledge her lack of self-esteem. She is like Bella in a lot of ways.

"She'll come around, Rose," I answered as I headed for the door. "I guess I should be getting to school. I'll see you later Emmett, Rose. And remember when you guys talk to her avoid harsh topics, unless it seems like she's open to talkin' about it. And whatever you do, do not say Fuckward's name. She totally freaks out and shuts down," I emphasized.

"We know Jazz, you told us that when you told us about your first day here," Rosalie said.

"Emmett, when you pick her up treat her like a normal person, she seems to respond better. Take her to get a snack at the diner or somethin'. She needs to be out of the house and she needs to eat. I don't think she's ready to come here, yet." Emmett nodded.

"Uhh…Jazz?" he asked. I turned towards him and waited.

"Do I have to eat with her again?" he asked morosely.

Rose and I both laughed. I nodded.

"She might do better if you do. At least order something, but ask her. Last night she told me it was painful for her to eat because she didn't want to live and eatin' just kept her alive longer. So you decide," I said with sadness and the room was engulfed in anger and sadness again. With that I turned to leave for school.

I told the school that my college realized that I was short a gym credit and that I needed that to go back. It was stupid but things like that work. I couldn't find a way that would require me to go to school for the whole day since I graduated, so Rose broke into the records at Forks' high to show the deficit of the one class. I made sure Mrs. Cope scheduled me in Bella's class telling her it was the best time of day for me. Coincidently, it was just after lunch so I figured I'd spend lunch with Bella and then go to class. So she'd see me for two hours. I hoped that was enough.

Mrs. Cope apologized for them overlooking that while scheduling my classes but I told her not to worry, I would enjoy seeing some old friends. She was appeased and sent me on my way. I still had about a half an hour before lunch so I wandered through the halls and searched for the classroom Bella was in. I found her scent and traced her to English. I was glad to be able to wait for her when class got out. I was sure this was going to cause gossip. I just hoped it didn't cause Bella any harassment. I looked through the door and she sat stoically facing the front of the room just as blank as could be. I sighed. I hoped that was just for the benefit of the class.

I watched her because I couldn't feel her. When the bell rang she gathered her things slowly. She knew I was going to be here for lunch but apparently she wasn't in a hurry. I waited. Everyone that came out the door expressed surprise and curiosity when they saw me. I leaned up against the wall across from the door with my leg bent, foot resting on the wall, and my arms crossed. I didn't acknowledge anyone. I just waited.

Bella was the last one out of the room, shuffling forward looking at her feet. "Gotta keep 'em waitin' huh, darlin'?" I asked with a chuckle.

Her head snapped up and her eyes flicked to life.

I sighed internally. She was better when I was around. I walked towards her and smiled. I held my hand out for her to take. She looked at it briefly before she took it. I reached with my other hand for her books, after all I was a gentleman. We walked hand in hand to her locker to deposit her books before going to lunch.

People stared incredulously at us but Bella kept her head down and I guided her. We entered the cafeteria and a hush came over the majority of people in there. I rolled my eyes. The curiosity was strong in the room. Of course it would be. I knew Bella hated attention but she wasn't even acknowledging it. I even noticed some strong anger coming from a few of the guys in the room but I ignored it. Sure they're mad. I'm 'related' to Fuckward and he broke her.

I'm sure there was a similar reaction when Emmett dropped her off this morning and will be a similar one when he picks her up. I'm not going to worry about that. The only thing I cared about was the broken woman in front of me. We went through the lunch line and she got a couple of tacos. I got the same. We didn't speak. I bought her lunch and we sat at a table by ourselves. Once we were comfortable I decided to start the conversation rolling.

"So how's your day so far, darlin'?" I asked.

It seemed like a safe topic. I tried to ignore the emotions in the room and just focus on Bella.

"Okay," she whispered. She wasn't eating just staring at her plate.

"Did you have a good mornin' with Charlie?" I prompted for her to tell me something specific about her day.

She nodded.

"Bel-la," I said in a low chastising tone. She looked up at me. Her eyes big and pleading. She was showing emotion, even though she wasn't happy she was showing it.

"You're gonna need to eat, darlin' and I'd appreciate it if I wasn't havin' lunch with a mute," I said with a smile.

She looked down at her plate and picked up a taco. She took a small bite. I smiled at her.

"Now, tell me how your mornin' went with Charlie and Emmett?" I asked her. She chewed slowly staring at me the whole time and it was my turn to give her a pleading look. I knew what she was asking. I so did not want to eat a taco. I was starting to feel like a bulimic vampire.

"Please Bella not today?" I pleaded with her. I really wanted to send her the revulsion I was feeling but I didn't figure that would help with her appetite. She nodded and put her taco down. Shit.

"Come on, darlin' just eat one taco, you need to be able to do this on your own." She looked down at it and shook her head.

I groaned knowing what I was about to do. I picked up the taco and brought it to my lips.

"You're worth it," I said, looking towards her and took a big bite. I swallowed it whole because really I don't need to keep it in my mouth any longer than necessary. She looked up at my words and watched me choke the taco down. I nodded towards her plate and she picked the taco back up. I was so busy watching her nibble on the taco, waiting for her to eat as much as I had that I didn't notice the anger creeping up on me.

Bella looked up at something behind me and I smelled him and felt him just in time to dodge the tray that came whistling through the air at me. Bella wasn't so lucky. I dodged the tray and it flew straight into her face, hitting her hard. I heard the cartilage in her nose break and immediately quit breathing. I knew there was going to be blood. She flew back in her chair and landed on the ground. I jumped up and raced over to her at human speed, knocking Mike 'fucking' Newton down in the process.

"Bella!? Are you okay?" I asked her.

'Well that's a stupid question huh… she's got a fucking broken nose,' I thought to myself.

Mike raced over after picking himself up off the floor. I had picked Bella up and placed her back in her chair. He was scared and still angry.

"Bella? Bella? Oh My God, I'm so sorry!" He was almost hysterical.

I knew Bella fainted at the sight of blood. "Keep lookin' at me, darlin', don't look down," I told her.

I kept my eyes on her and ignored Mike. I reached for the napkins on Bella's tray when Mike grabbed them and started pushing them on her face. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, Bella!" he said loudly and Bella winced at the pressure. I grabbed the napkins and pushed him away.

"Get out of here you've done enough!" I said menacingly.

I dabbed at her face gently with the napkins while keeping eye contact. She was shaking slightly and panting. I'm not sure why, probably the adrenaline and trying not to pass out.

"This is all YOUR FUCKING FAULT!" Mike began to yell at me as a crowd gathered around us. I ignored him. I couldn't hurt him like I wanted. I really needed to take care of Bella and I was trying not to breathe while doing this. Arguing with him was not an option and killing him unfortunately wasn't either.

Pretty soon Principal Dekker came in, someone had called him.

"What is going on here?" he asked.

I was still trying to clean Bella up. There was a lot of blood and she was still bleeding. I didn't say anything and neither did Bella.

A female behind me said, "Mike threw a tray at Jasper and it hit Bella." I just nodded my head in agreement without ever looking away.

"Is that right?" Mr. Dekker asked. I assumed he looked at Mike because Mike's fear spiked.

"Yes-s, sir," Mike answered.

"Very well, come with me. Mr. Hale bring Miss Swan to the nurse," he said with authority.

"Yes, sir," I answered.

"One second, Bella." I held my finger up. She nodded slightly and winced. God, I wanted to kill that punk! I looked over and grabbed the napkins off my tray and held them to her face. "Don't look down, darlin'. Just look straight ahead and hold these to your nose." She took them and placed them on her nose and I led her to the nurse's office.

So much for a taking a simple class and having lunch with Bella. Who knew that would be difficult? When we got to the nurse's office I excused myself to call Emmett and get some fresh air. I let Emmett know what happened and that he needed to come and pick Bella up from school. Right after I left, I heard her tell the nurse that she faints at the sight of blood, and then she passed out. I would have laughed had I not been so pissed. I was told by Mrs. Cope to go to my class when I let her know Emmett was on his way to get Bella.

I was a few minutes late to gym class but Coach Clapp said nothing as I walked in and handed him the form he needed to sign. The gossip was flying. There were people guessing I came back to steal Bella from Fuckward. People talking about the obvious broken nose she had. And People talking about her

dating or sleeping with me and Emmett since they had seen him drop her off this morning. I just shook my head. Gossip was everywhere and it was only getting worse because now I was going to fight Mike Newton for her. He was in this gym class and that was a bad place for him to be right now.

Luckily for him, he was in the Principal's office and got suspended for three days. So I wouldn't see him again until Friday, unless I showed up at his house sooner which I was seriously contemplating. I got through the gym class because I had no choice and left the school. I knew I was supposed to go home and be with Rose but I had to stop by and check on Bella. I wouldn't stay long I promised myself. Emmett needed time to reconnect with her too.

As I was leaving the school I heard more gossip about Bella being picked up by Emmett. That they were definitely dating because he gave her his shirt to wear home. Damn, I didn't even think to tell him to bring a change of clothes for her. I should have, she was covered in blood. And the Chief was not going to be happy about this one. I listened to how the girls were going nuts over a shirtless Emmett and couldn't help but feel a bit envious. I could have given Bella my shirt. But I didn't. I knew my scars weren't easily seen by humans but they were there and I would have been too self-conscious to walk around the school without a shirt. I knew they probably wouldn't see them but under the right light and close enough they could be seen.

I sighed and made my way to Bella's house. I knew she was going to be in pain. I also knew it was going be a bit more difficult to be around her but she should have stopped bleeding by now and Emmett was the only other one there. Well, I thought he'd be the only other one there. As I was coming down the street I noticed the Chief's cruiser in the driveway. The school probably called him. I knocked and Emmett answered the door.

"What are you doin' here, bro?" he asked me. I looked at him like he was nuts. I was here to check on Bella of course.

"I'm here to make sure she's okay," I stated.

He nodded and backed away to let me in.

"Did the school call Charlie?" I asked.

He just nodded. "They're in her room right now. She's pretty banged up, dude. They wanted her to go to the hospital to get checked but she refused. I had to give her my shirt when I went to pick her up because she kept passin' out." He chuckled a little at that but he was feeling far from humorous. He was worried, upset, and mad.

"How could you let this happen, dude?" he asked me.

"Let it happen? I know. I know, but I also knew I couldn't move too fast. I was in a room full of humans, Em. I heard the tray comin' at me and I could feel the anger so I knew somethin' was bein' thrown but I wasn't sure what. I turned just in time to dodge it. I honestly thought about catchin' it and wingin' it back at him but I didn't. It just didn't occur to me that my dodge was going to leave Bella wide open. I'm

sorry. The bastard threw it but I could'a stopped it. And I didn'." I hung my hung and let Emmett feel my remorse.

He slapped me on the back. "It's done now, dude. I know it was an accident of sorts. It was meant for you and it wouldn't have hurt you but Bella's luck struck again," he said with a wry smile.

I smiled tentatively back at him as Charlie made his way downstairs.

"Is she okay?" I asked, having fully heard their conversation. Charlie was trying to get Bella to press charges, but she was refusing on the basis that it was an accident. He nodded as he finished his decent down the stairs.

"Yeah, she's okay. Won't press charges against Newton though. Keeps saying it was an accident," he said morosely.

I chuckled.

"Well it was an accident, Charlie. The tray was meant for the back of my head. I just happen' to turn around, when Bella looked at Mike, to see what she was lookin' at. I saw the tray flyin' and barely dodged it. Didn't think about where it was goin' once it was passed me. I'm sorry," I sighed.

"Look kid, it ain't your fault. It's that little punk Newton and he better hope he doesn't step a toe out of line for a long time," he said seriously. He was angry.

I couldn't say that I blamed him for being angry but the threat against Newton was amusing. I smirked at his statement and he returned it.

"Well, I just came by to make sure she was alright. I know she was planning on spending the afternoon with Emmett." I shrugged it was starting to get a bit awkward.

"Well, why don't you go say hello and then you can leave or stay; whichever she prefers," Charlie suggested, and then I felt his emotions shift. He was sad and grateful.

"Jasper, you've started to bring my little girl back to life. I don't know how I can thank you for that. I really wanted to blame your whole family for leaving and causing this, but you came back and she is improving. Thank you." He put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed.

I nodded at him. "You're welcome, sir. Honestly, we didn' know this happened. We would have stayed in contact if we did."

He nodded his head and his sadness increased.

I'm guessing he was thinking about the months that had gone by as Bella was wasting away.

"Jasper, Emmett you're both welcome to come for dinner tonight. Your sister's with you too, right?" he asked me.

I nodded.

"Yeah, Rosalie is here too. She and Emmett are gonna to stay with me this semester while I get my missed high school credit. Carlisle and Esme didn' want me stayin' in Forks by myself." I fed Charlie the story we had come up with.

He just bobbed his head a bit.

"Well, you're all welcome to come over anytime and I really appreciate you helping Bella. I'm sorry the house isn't bigger or I'd say you kids could just stay with me. Please let your parents know I'm keeping an eye on ya as well."

Emmett and I both smiled at that.

"Thanks Charlie," I said.

"Hey, does that mean I can call you dad?" Emmett asked with a grin. He was feeling excited and a bit mischievous.

I laughed at that one and so did Charlie.

"Sure son, I wouldn't mind it at all. You too, Jasper. I always wanted a boy, don't get me wrong I love Bella completely but you know a man always wants to have the son to wrestle with, throw a football with, take fishing, that kind of stuff. Man stuff," he said gruffly at end and we all chuckled.

"Thanks Charlie… err dad," I said with a smile. He beamed back with pride. That really tore at my heart. He was proud to have us call him dad. I would have to share that with Emmett later.

"I need to get back to work kids. Take care of my girl and I'll be seeing you all for dinner, right?" he asked. I cut in before Emmett could say anything.

"Actually, Rosalie and I had plans to catch up and she was making dinner for me and her but Emmett is planning on staying," I said with a smirk. I saw Emmett tense out of the corner of my eye and smiled wider. He was upset but resigned.

"Yes, I would _like_ to join you and Bella for dinner… dad." He tacked the Dad on the end and beamed at Charlie though his emotions said he was not thrilled about it. I chuckled under my breath.

"Good, I'll see you kids later." He slapped us both on the back as he walked out and we hollered "Bye Dad!" in unison, chuckling.

"I'm going to go see Bella real quick and then I think I'm going to go shopping." Emmett nodded as I walked up the stairs.

"Hey, what do you need to go shopping for, bro?" he asked.

As I walked down the hall to Bella's room I answered, "Sporting goods".


	10. Chapter 10

_Chapter 10_

I made my way to Bella's room and found her lying on her bed.

"Hey, darlin'," I greeted as I walked through the door. She just stared at the ceiling. She didn't acknowledge me but her heart rate increased a little. That was curious.

"Bella?" I asked as I went and sat down next to her.

She slowly turned her head to look at me. She had two black eyes. I could still smell the blood though it wasn't fresh, it was strong. Her nose was extremely swollen and purple with a small cut across the top. Her eyes were blood shot and she looked like she had been crying? She didn't even cry when she got hit with the tray. Had she been crying?

"Bella, darlin'. I know you've gotta be hurtin' right now and you're suppos' to spend the afternoon with Em. I just wanted to apologize. I should'a stopped the tray. I also wanted to see if you needed anythin' from me?" I expressed with as much heartfelt emotion as possible. I let her feel my remorse. I truly was sorry I didn't stop the tray.

"I'm fine," she replied quietly and turned her head back, looking up at the ceiling, again.

Was she mad at me? I apologized.

"Bella, are you mad at me, darlin'?" I needed to know. I wanted to fix it if I could.

There was a pause but she answered, "No, I'm not mad at you, Jasper. I'm mad at Mike for wanting to hurt you."

She was amazing, she knew the tray wouldn't have hurt me and she's not mad that she's hurt. She's mad at the action against me.

"I am too and I'm gonna go have a talk with him right now, so this doesn't happen again. He was suspended for three days. But he's gonna spend those next three days workin' his butt off at his parent's store," I said smirking.

"Jasper, don't hurt him, it was an _accident,_ " she emphasized.

Despite today she still hadn't gone back into her shell and I could help but be pleased about that nugget of information. But I wasn't going to let this go.

"Bella, I'm not gonna hurt him. Maybe scare the piss outta him, but I'm not gonna hurt him. Okay?"

"Jasper, please just leave him alone he didn't do it on purpose," she requested while looking me in the eye. Her eyes still had a vacancy but they were better.

"Darlin', technically he did do it on purpose, he just got the wrong person," I stated giving her a pointed look.

She knew I was right.

"But it wouldn't have hurt you had it hit you, just leave him alone. I don't want any more drama, please?" She was almost pleading.

I chuckled at her.

"Bella, this isn't about you really. He has a beef to pick with me, so I'm gonna go let him pick it, away from the pryin' eyes of the school. By the time he comes back everyone will have forgotten all about it. Besides the biggest gossip right now isn't Mike. It's whatever relationship is goin' on between you, me, and Em, oh and Em without a shirt," I said with a smile.

"Hell yeah!" Emmett hollered up the stairs and I laughed. Bella's eyes sparkled but she wasn't ready to laugh, quite yet, though she was getting closer. She was letting feelings out very slowly, but it was progress.

"Darlin', I'm gonna go and let you spend the eve'n with Em. Send him home when you want. Do you want me to come and help you sleep tonight?"

I decided to ask her. It was selfish really. I wanted her say she wanted me around. She nodded. I growled at her.

"Yes Jasper, please help me sleep tonight. My face is probably going to be too sore for me to sleep well and I… I don't want to be alone," she responded a bit more monotone than she had before but I wasn't going to push her.

"Darlin', you need to put some ice on your face to help with the swellin', can you do that?" I asked. Hoping I wasn't going to have to fight her for that too.

"Yes, I'll go get it in a minute."

Before she even finished her sentence I heard Emmett in the freezer preparing something to bring up.

"Em's got it, darlin'. I'll see you tonight. Take it easy on him." I nodded towards her bedroom door indicating Emmett who was still downstairs.

"He's new to takin' care of humans," I finished.

She just nodded her head a bit. I didn't want to hurt her face and I really wanted to kiss her forehead but I didn't dare touch her head at all. I gently grabbed her right hand and brought it to my lips.

"Eve'n, Miss Bella," I said laying the accent on thick. Bowed my head towards her and took my leave.

I met Emmett on the stairs as I was heading down.

"Hey Em, I know she's probably not gonna want to eat now but she only got like two bites of lunch, before… So maybe you can see if you can get her to eat somethin'?" I shrugged. "And before you ask, yes, you'll have to eat with her," I interjected.

His shoulders slumped and he nodded his head.

I chuckled and made my way downstairs.

"Jazz?" he called from the top of the stairs. I turned to face him. "What are ya gonna do to Newton?" He was feeling curious and mischievous.

I quirked an eyebrow at him. "Got somethin' in mind, Em?"

He shrugged. "I think you need to scare him and scare him good. But, if you accidently kill him, I'll help ya cover it up, bro."

I sniggered, "Em, I'm not gonna kill him. I'll figure out what I'm gonna do when I get there. I guess we are gonna need some campin' equipment just in case."

He laughed and went to Bella's room. I hoped they had a good time. Given the situation though, I doubt it was going to be enjoyable for either of them. Maybe I'd see if Rose wanted to go to the sporting goods store with me. I didn't know what I was going to do when I got there, but I was definitely going to make an impression.

I got in my truck and made my way back to our house. I'm sure Rose would want to know how Bella was doing. I don't think she'd talked to Emmett since he left to pick Bella up. If nothing else I'd get to share all the comments from the Forks high gossip group about her shirtless husband. I smirked at that thought. I knew we were desirable but Emmett really had them drooling when they saw him walk Bella to his jeep.

As I pulled up in front of the house, Rose appeared at my driver's side door. Yep, she was anxious and worried.

"Is she okay?" she asked as I got out of the truck.

"Yeah, as best as can be expected when you get hit in the face with a lunch tray at high speed."

She flinched at the thought. It wouldn't hurt her but she knew how fragile humans were and especially Bella in her current condition.

"So, I was thinking of paying Mikey a visit at work. Would you care to join me?" I said with an evil grin.

"I like where this is going, what is your plan?" she asked me mirroring the evil grin.

"Scare the piss out of him," I stated menacingly.

She grinned like a maniac.

"I like it. How are you going to do it?" she questioned, getting anxious and excited.

I told her my quickly developed plan as we hopped in the truck to go 'shopping'. I told her the whole story of what happened to Bella at school and about Emmett's shirtless debut. She laughed at the shirtless part and was more than a little angry at the lunchroom incident.

"What was he thinking!?" she growled out.

"Not Fuckward here, darlin'." I shrugged. For some reason she was shocked at my answer. I looked at her questioningly. She knew what I was asking. Why was that comment shocking?

"Uh, I think it shocked me because I just realized you haven't called him anything but Fuckward since we got here. And I think Mike was actually coming after you because he blames our family for what happened to Bella," she answered.

I pondered this for a couple of minutes. I figured that was why he attacked me, but he had no right. And yes I hadn't said _his_ name since I found out what a fuck-wad _he_ was.

I looked over to her.

"So?" I asked, not sure if she was going somewhere with this train of thought.

"Well, I know that you are mad at Mike and all, but honestly he was just helping Bella out, as he saw it. I think," she added.

I shook my head.

"Not good enough Rose. He hurt her, badly and honestly, if I was human I'd probably be in the hospital right now. That was suppos' ta hit me in the back of the head, remember? He can't get away with reacting like that. And I don't want him anywhere near Bella ever again. I know his lustful feelin's for her. He's always had them. And, if we're bein' honest, Fuckward didn' like him around her either. So he's probably not having the purest thoughts to go with those emotions," I rambled a bit but I was frustrated.

"You like her don't you?" she asked out of nowhere.

Well, I felt like it was out of nowhere. I just nodded my head. I wasn't going to give her more than that.

"How much?" she asked. Yeah, like I didn't see that question coming.

"Rose, I dunno, okay? Just let's take care of the douche-bag and then we can talk about it. Alright?" I really didn't want to have this conversation now, or ever really.

We pulled up in front of Newton's Sporting Goods store and went in. Mike was standing behind the counter when we walked in, feeling mad and guilty. When he saw us he paled, becoming immediately scared and worried. Good. Rose went to pick up some of our normal camping supplies while I made my way to the counter taking note that Mrs. Newton was in the back store room and there was one other customer on the other side of the store. We were in a manner of speaking, alone. I smirked at him as I walked towards him slowly and menacingly. I wanted him to know I had a purpose and he was not going to like it.

He backed up into the counter behind him. I made my way to him and stopped when I got to the outer portion of the customer service counter. I just stared him down. I thought I'd send him a bit of fear just to get the ball rolling.

"C…c..can I…h..h..help….y…y..you?" he stuttered out quietly.

I grinned wider at him, showing my pearly whites, and leaned in on the counter. The smell of fear could be a beautiful thing. I reveled in it for a minute before I spoke; again making sure no one was around.

"I think you can, _Mikey_ ," I sneered. "You see, there's this asswipe that hurt a friend of mine pretty badly today. And I'm none too happy with him. Especially, since the pain was actually meant for _me_." I nearly growled the last part at him.

He gulped and I noticed that he had a difficult time swallowing.

"Now, what do you think I should do about that?" I asked him. Actually wondering what he would say. He was frozen for nearly a minute when he finally got a burst of courage. Moron.

"It was all y…your fault." He tried to sound confident but he only sounded scared. Good.

"I didn't throw a tray at someone's head," I said accusingly.

He flinched.

"I didn't hit a brokenhearted girl in the face, breaking her nose and giving her two black eyes." I continued in the same tone, "And, I am not the one that now has all of Forks' police force gunning for me because of it," I added with a smirk. He paled even more at that thought and I continued threateningly. "You should be scared, _Mikey_. You physically harmed the police chief's daughter. His one and only daughter. Who was already having a difficult time, _Mikey_. She didn't need physical injuries, too." He was really scared, not just of me but of Charlie also. I grinned like a fiend at that.

"I…it w…was…y…your…f…fault," he stuttered out?

He was trying to gain his courage and I wasn't stopping him. I wanted to hear how this was my fault and he needed to be a bit more verbal for that to happen. But I wasn't going to help him either.

"Y…you…you…all…left…her." He was getting better.

"I didn't leave her, _Mikey_. My family moved and Emmett, Rosalie, and I were away at college when it happened." Of course we were actually here but that was the public story.

"E…Ed…ward…b…bro…oke…her." He was getting angry now at the mention of Fuckward's name, can't say I blame him with that one.

"She…she…was…beautiful…now…she's…wasting away."

He was gaining more courage and words were beginning to flow freely and something told me I wasn't going to like where he was going with this. I waited.

"She was perfect and he…he ruined her!"

Yep anger making a comeback. I just couldn't believe the shit coming from his mouth. I raised my eyebrows in surprise at him but didn't say anything. I wanted to see just how deep he was going to dig this hole.

"She should have been mine! She was supposed to be mine! We would have been perfect together. Now, look at her! She isn't _worth_ looking at! She's gone!" He was moving closer to me now and yelling loudly.

The customer in the store left when he heard the yelling. I heard Rose growling a few isles away. And Mrs. Newton was none the wiser to the confrontation at the front of the store.

I was trying to keep my growl to a minimum as I heard the crap spewing forth from this asshole. His? He thought she should be his? His what? Arm candy? Whore? He didn't care about her. He liked the way she looked. He kept going, interrupting my silent reverie.

"She was supposed to be mine and now she's nothing! No one wants her! She doesn't even talk to anyone! It's entirely your stupid brother's fault! He should pay for what he's done to her! You all should pay. If it wasn't for your family she'd be fine! She's useless now!"

With that I jumped the counter and pinned him against the opposite counter.

"USELESS?" I yelled at him.

"What exactly were you going to use her for?" I asked menacingly.

As I held him by the throat, his pulse was racing and the heat of his body was intense. He was terrified. And he should be. I knew my eyes were black with rage and I had to make sure to do things at a human pace when I jumped the counter. I was surprised I still had presence of mind enough to think about that.

He wasn't that big maybe 5'8" kind of a stocky boy but that didn't compare to my 6'2" broad shoulders and muscular physique of a man. I was intimidating to him vampire or not. I sent him a wave of fear to keep him frozen and right where I wanted him.

"I would like nothin' more than to rip your tongue out and put it in a blender for the filth that just came outta your mouth," I stated with as much hatred as I could.

"I think that I should do the same thing to that lil prick you call a dick. Because no one should ever talk about a woman like that! Not Bella, not anyone!" I yelled the last sentence into his face.

I kept him pinned against the counter, feeding him fear. He wasn't even trying to get out of my grasp. Good. I didn't have to pretend to let him struggle. "You are a lil pig, boy, and you don't deserve someone as fantastic as Bella. Just because she is goin' through a tough time right now does not mean she is no good! That is ignorant, you piss ass punk. So listen to me and listen well because I am only going to say this once. I. WILL. NOT. ALLOW. YOU. TO HURT HER. AGAIN! I. WILL. HURT YOU. IF. I. _EVER_! HEAR. YOU. SAY THAT SHIT. ABOUT HER AGAIN! Do I make myself perfectly clear?" I asked before letting go of him.

I still needed to make my point crystal clear to this asshole but his fear was at an all-time high without my influence. He just nodded, incapable of speech at the moment. Excellent.

"Now, tell me _MIKEY,_ what should I do about the incident earlier in the cafeteria?"

He still never answered my question from earlier. At this time Rose came up with a cart full of camping equipment we would need if we actually went camping. She surveyed the situation and smirked. I returned her smirk. She gave off anger and longing. I got the hint. She had something she wanted to add. I let Mike go and just as a show of strength easily hopped back over the counter.

He stood there looking like a fish gasping for his last breath.

"Rose." I nodded at her. "Get everythin' we'll need, sis?" I asked as if nothing had just happened. 92

"Yep," she clipped a response with a smile. Yeah, she was up to something. She looked over at Mike and smiled her dazzling smile.

I grinned.

"Do you think you could check us out, please?" she asked sweetly. He nodded and slowly and shakily he walked to the register. He was still afraid but some lust and amazement were starting to make an appearance as he glanced repeatedly at Rosalie.

"He's starting to 'feel' for you," I whispered to her, making sure he couldn't hear. She just bobbed her head slightly once acknowledging that she had heard and understood me.

Rose and I waited quietly while Mike rang our purchase. After all they were the only sporting goods store in Forks and we still needed to keep up appearances. Mrs. Newton would see our purchase on the books since we would charge it all to Carlisle's account. When our purchase had been rung up and paid for, all in silence, Rose looked over and winked at me.

"I couldn't help but notice you guys were arguing earlier," she said to Mike.

He nodded his head.

I presented him with a menacing smile as I picked up a rather large hunting knife that Rose had selected as part of our purchase and removed it from its sheath.

"So what were you guys arguing about earlier?" she asked him, totally ignoring me.

He kept his eyes locked on mine, his face got a bit paler, and his fear increased, again. I kept eye contact and slowly turned the knife in one hand while stroking the blade with a finger on my other hand. Good I think I may have begun to make an impression.

"Uh… um, it was nothing," he said quietly.

I quirked my eyebrow at him, never breaking my gaze. Rose leaned in a little showing off cleavage I'm sure.

"Was it about Bella?" she asked sweetly, like she really had no clue.

He just nodded his head.

"You hit her in the face with a lunch tray right?" she asked innocently.

He just dumbly nodded again. Not being able to look away from the threat that I was posing with just my presence.

"Do you not like her?" she asked him. He kind of snapped out of it with that question.

"I did, I do like her," he said quietly.

"Do you like me?" she asked him.

"Rose," I said lowly in warning grabbing her arm. I sent her my humor so she knew I was playing along.

"What?" she looked back at me innocently. I almost chuckled. I wasn't sure what she was doing but I had an idea.

"No Rose," I stated looking at her and then back at Mike. He straightened slightly. He was accepting the challenge.

"Jazz, I'm sure Mike doesn't have any interest in me. Do you, Mikey?" she asked looking back at him with doe eyes.

"Well, uhh…umm…you…Emmett?" he finally asked.

"OH! You mean my boyfriend? The boyfriend who is currently taking care of poor injured _Bella_ ," she said with disdain.

"He's not here. Is he, Mikey?" she asked sweetly.

"Do you like me?" she asked again.

"I… uh" he looked over at me and I shook my head slowly and carefully. He shook his head no.

I was chuckling internally.

"JAZZ! I saw that! If Mike wants to like me that is his choice!" Rose yelled at me, feeling humorous.

"No," I stated. I looked back at him.

"Is she useful?" I nodded towards Rose.

His eyes got big and he became embarrassed though he was still mostly scared.

"Is my _sister_ useful to _you_ , does she look _good_ enough for you!?" I asked with a growl.

He backed up against the counter that I had him pinned against minutes ago. He shook his head.

"Useful?" Rose asked like she had no idea what was going on.

"Yesss, dear sister, _useful_. This pig, said Bella was no longer _useful_ because Fuckward broke her," I said keeping my eyes on him and speaking each word with purpose.

She looked over at Mike and her sweet demeanor became that of the bitch that we all knew resided in there. Rose has no use for men like this, not even as a snack.

"Is what he's saying the truth?" she asked Mike with a look that could kill.

He just stood there frozen. I continued to fiddle with the knife in my hand. Of course, I wasn't really going to use it but he didn't need to know that. And I sent him an extra dose of fear to help.

"Mike, I would like to make a request. Do you know what that request is?" I asked angrily.

He shook his head. I looked at Rose.

"Do you see this beautiful woman standing before you?" he nodded.

"Do you think you are good enough for someone like her?" he shook his head. He was getting it.

'Good boy', I thought.

"Women like Bella and I want men. Not piece-of-shit little boys like you that think we are a possession. And you, will never be a man because you won't ever get it. I should let my brother string you up like the worm you are and see if the pieces grow back that we cut off," she sneered.

I was honestly surprised at what she said but didn't let either of them know. Instead, I chuckled evilly.

"Sis, would you go ahead and bring this stuff to the car and I'll be there in a minute?" I asked never taking my eyes off Mike.

"Sure brother dear. Oh and Jasper?" I looked over at her. She smiled just as menacingly.

"No blood."

I nodded.

Mike was petrified at this point. I had him right where I wanted him. I watched Rosalie take the cart full of stuff and head towards the door without a glance back in our direction. I turned back to Mike whose eyes were wide as saucers as he glanced at the knife still in my hand. I smirked. Placing one hand on the counter I hopped back over to Mike's side. He was shaking with fear. I was adding to it and honestly I wasn't sure how much was really him and how much was me but it didn't matter. He was beyond terrified and that was what I wanted.

"I think you need to stay away from every woman in my family, and that includes Bella. The Chief isn't too happy with you either right now, so you may not want to so much as run a stop sign for the next… 20 years. And, like I said, if I hear that filth from your mouth _ever_ again, I will not hesitate to cut your tongue out and feed it as an appetizer to the nearest mountain lion. The main course, will be the rest of you, one piece at a time. Do, I make myself crystal clear?" I stated all of this in a low and calm tone that made it even more menacing because of the lack of emotion interjected.

I pointed the tip of the knife at him in a lackadaisical fashion like I didn't have a very large 7 inch hunting knife in my hand. I gave him a pointed look to let him know that I was waiting for an answer. The best he could do was nod his head once.

"Good, but I still want you to understand how serious I am. Since Rose said no blood, I guess it'll just be skin," I said with a smirk as I closed small distance between us.


	11. Chapter 11

_Chapter 11_

"How'd it go?" Rose asked as I hopped in the truck behind the wheel. She was waiting in the passenger seat and the back of the truck had been loaded with our 'supplies'.

I snickered, "I think he needs a new outfit."

Rose laughed with me as we made our way back to the house. Now that that was taken care of I could focus better on just how I was going to save Bella.

Rose really had not gotten to spend much time with Bella. They did not talk at all when they were waiting for us at the theater. Rose was too scared to try she said. I guess I couldn't blame her. The idea of making Bella worse was pretty frightening. I was so glad the whole Mike thing hadn't seemed to set her back. I hoped Emmett was doing alright with her. I pulled my phone out after we had gotten home and unloaded the truck. Rose had spent the day cleaning up the house and making it look livable again. Uncovering the furniture and dusting.

"Jazz?" Rose requested.

"Yeah?" I turned towards her about ready to call Emmett and see how things were going. "Well two things. One, don't call, I think it's about dinner time and you don't want to interrupt. And two, should I go buy some food to keep here for Bella?" She made a good point about not calling right now. I'm sure Emmett would love any excuse to not have to eat. Rose mentioned he grumbled all night about the popcorn incident.

'Come on you're a vampire take it like a man!' I thought. Oh well. 'Um. Food for Bella?'

"I dunno, Rose. I guess you could get some snack foods just in case she comes over. But I don't know how she'll react to bein' here. Honestly, she got rid of everythin' that reminded her of Fuckward and I assume this house is one big ass reminder," I stated truthfully.

I just didn't even know how to approach the subject with Bella about her coming over to the house. Maybe neither of us was ready for that. Shit, she didn't seem comfortable in her own house, why would I think she might be comfortable in someone else's?

I shrugged at Rose and made my way to the living room. I heard her following behind. I guess we were just going to have to wait until Emmett came home or called. I decided to tell Rose a bit more about Bella and we discussed if I should call Carlisle. I didn't know what to do about the cutting thing. I knew that was a psychology issue and I had taken basic psychology in college but it wasn't a topic I typically found interesting. Knowing people's emotions was psychology enough for me. Of course, Bella had to be different even in that aspect.

In the end we decided it would be good to call Carlisle and get his opinion.

During the phone call, the one thing we realized was a regular doctor probably couldn't help Bella because her issue centered on supernatural creatures and she was going to get locked up if she told the truth. Either that or we'd have the Volturi on our asses and neither option seemed acceptable. So, I decided maybe we needed to get some information on her problems off the internet. I found a site that was useful and guided me to services in the area along with an 800 number for people to call. I learned a bit and gathered the information for Bella. Maybe it could help her. I don't think she was quite ready to look at it yet though. This is not something you can push on people, that's what one of the websites said, approach it delicately.

I guess right now she didn't seem to be dangerous to herself. With the exception of the lack of eating but even with that she was doing okay as long as Emmett and I 'suffered' with her. I shook my head as I made my way to my room to get cleaned up before going over to Bella's for the night. I knew Emmett loved her and he wanted to stay with her, but frankly I _needed_ to be with her. It was killing me not being near her. I knew she was okay, Em's there and she's got Charlie. But I was anxious to see it for myself.

'When did I become so needy?'

Emmett called and said Bella was sleepy so I should come over. He was going to stay with her until I got there. That was fine. I left Rose with a kiss on the cheek and wave. She chuckled at me as I bolted out the door excited to get back to Bella. I ran as fast as I could and made my way to the front door of her house. I listened. There was a heartbeat in the living room.

"Come on in," Emmett whispered very quietly. I opened the unlocked door.

I sensed contentment and apprehension as I opened the door. What in the world? As soon as I was through the door I noticed Emmett lying on the sofa with a kitten-like Bella curled up on his chest hugging a medium size stuffed white bear to her chest. She was sound asleep wearing gray yoga pants and a black t-shirt. She had the bear in an iron 'bear hug' with a finger twirled around the red ribbon with white hearts tied around his neck. The contentment was hers with her underlying anger, sadness, and despair, but where'd she get the bear? I'd never seen it before. The apprehension was Emmett's.

"What's wrong? And where'd the bear come from?" I asked, smiling at the scene before me. She really was adorable.

He whispered, "I just didn't want you to be mad when you saw us like this. And, I gave her the bear after you left. It's a Valentine's Day bear I got at the store on our way out here. I told her I had a gift for her yesterday. It was the bear. I just didn't give it to her yesterday. I'm glad I waited. After the shitty day she had I think it made a difference. She hasn't put it down since I put it in her hands." He smiled and was radiating brotherly love and a little pride.

"I'm glad it made her happy. She's very content right now which is not typical when she's asleep." I let him know, so he understood that he did a good job.

It just occurred to me, "Charlie's upstairs, right?" I could feel and hear him. Emmett nodded. He knew what I was asking though.

"We were watching a game and Bella was sitting next to me, leaning on me. Well, before I knew it she had crawled into my lap and was sleeping sitting up. So I rotated and leaned back. Charlie told me to lie down if I could, we'd both be more comfortable."

He shrugged and continued, "He didn't seem to care at all, dude. When the game was over he asked what I wanted to do about leaving. I told him I'd lay here for a while and see if she woke up, so I could send her to bed but I didn't want to wake her up. He said it was fine if I stayed the night on the couch either way. Just to call you guys and let you know. So he handed me the phone and went to bed."

He was smiling brightly, happy to have been so accepted by Charlie. He waved the phone around in the air and then set it back down on the floor.

I was very glad Charlie was happy with Emmett, but I was also a bit jealous that it wasn't me. I tried to push that thought away. Emmett was her brother in every sense of the word except blood. Hell, even Charlie liked him. Us.

I smiled at him but didn't really want to ask my next question, "So… what do you want to do, Em?" I knew I wanted to cuddle up with her tonight but I really didn't want to take this away from either of them. They needed bonding time too, even if she was asleep. Even with a broken nose and two black eyes she was adorable on top of his chest. I made a last minute decision and took my cell phone out. I snapped a picture and sent it to Rose, and Em, so he'd have it.

He laughed at me but was grateful that I did it. It was dark enough in the room you couldn't tell that she was all busted up. I sent it to Carlisle and Esme as well. I figured after the worrisome talk we had earlier they may enjoy seeing this. They did. Esme sent back a lengthy thanks and she was happy we were helping. Carlisle sent back a smiley face. Carlisle never was a man of many words. I chuckled at his text, while waiting for Emmett to answer my question. Since I had distracted him earlier with the picture I asked again, "So… what do you want to do, Em?"

He sighed. I felt his longing, love, and hesitation.

I smiled at him. "Do you want to wait until she wakes up and move her to her bed? Or… I can keep her asleep all night just like that and you can hold her?" I asked.

His large arms gently wrapped around her frail sleeping form. He was feeling unsure, so I made the decision for him. I quickly ran upstairs and grabbed her quilt off her bed. I brought it back down and Em moved his arms so the quilt was between them at least on top and he tucked it under her as much as he could without jostling her. She was doing well by herself so I decided to leave her alone for now. It was probably better for her to sleep naturally if at all possible.

I called Rose to come over for a little while. There was no reason for her to sit at home alone when we were all here. I took the recliner and she sat at the end of sofa with Emmett's big feet in her lap. We talked all night and I told Emmett about what happened in the store with Mike. We also let him know about our research and our talk with Carlisle. Emmett then began to tell us of his afternoon and evening with Bella.

He said, after I left, he gave her the ice for her face but she didn't leave it on too long. He tried to get her to talk about anything from what it was like living with her mom to how her classes were going and she just wasn't very talkative. He was a little discouraged but remembered the teddy bear he had in the jeep. He went and got it and that seemed to bring her out of her funk a little more. We were a little worried what was going to happen when she woke up and had to give the teddy bear up to go to school.

I honestly didn't see anything wrong with taking it but Rosalie said she wouldn't because it would bring attention to her, and she was probably right. Emmett wanted her to take it too, but only because he gave it to her. At one point during our discussion, her fear began to rise and I sent her some calm and lethargy to help keep her peaceful and asleep. Aside from that she never stirred.

Emmett said she talked a little more, told him how harebrained her mother was and all the different things she's made Bella try over the years. It was not an easy flowing conversation but it worked. When Charlie got home he was glad to see that she was talking a little more. Charlie asked her again to press charges against Mike Newton but again she refused. Charlie made fish for dinner and Emmett choked it down. It was still with him even now and his disgust at just the thought of it made me laugh, while Rose just laughed at his whining. He didn't seem to think it was as funny as we did.

"Charlie was great. He let me pick which game to watch since Seattle wasn't playing tonight, he said he was impressed with my knowledge of the teams," Emmett said with pride. We heard Charlie's alarm go off upstairs and looked at each other wide eyed. We had talked the whole night and didn't even realize it. More to the point Bella still wasn't in bed and we were all here.

"We should go," Rose said to me kind of nervous. "I drove here though thinking we'd be gone in plenty of time, what if he hears the car now?" she asked.

I looked over at Emmett and Bella. "He said you could stay, right?" I asked Emmett of course knowing the answer.

Emmett nodded once and looked over at Bella. "She never woke up like she was supposed to," he said hugging her a bit closer to him.

I smiled.

"You know, I don't think Charlie will care, Rose. If anythin' he's gonna be more upset that we stayed up all night." I smiled. "Let's just pretend to be asleep when he comes down. Rose grab that little blanket off the back of the sofa and cover up. If nothing else I'll make him feel pleased or happy or something," I said with a shrug. "I think it'll be fine. He's so happy we're here for Bella right now, we probably could'a killed Newton last night and got away with it." I laughed quietly at the thought.

Rose grabbed the blanket reclined at the end of the sofa and covered up. I put the recliner back and got comfortable. We heard Charlie come out of his room to go into the bathroom. I wondered if he'd notice right away that Bella wasn't in her room. He did. He came to the top of the stairs and listened. Curiosity and worry were his dominant emotions. He really did worry a great deal about her. I sighed internally and we all closed our eyes as Charlie made his way downstairs. I was immediately hit with his shock at seeing all of us in his living room. A moment passed and it turned into amazement and comfort. I had to keep the smile off my face because he was truly happy we were here for her, although he was curious. I'm sure wondering about Rose and me. He walked further into the living room and I assume he was inspecting us to see if we were asleep.

He gave a gruff little chuckle and went back upstairs to shower. While he was in the shower we talked about how we should wake up. Ultimately, we decided since he knew we were up late and we didn't have an alarm clock we had two choices. Set an alarm on one of our phones or let him wake us up. Rose wanted the phone alarm, Emmett didn't want to get up at all, and I said we should let Charlie wake us up. In the end, I won because I didn't want the alarm to scare Bella. And when she woke up she was likely to be disoriented and embarrassed that all of us were there.

Charlie came back down and we returned to our slumbers. We technically had an hour before Bella had to be up for school. So we weren't sure how long he was going to leave us there.

He went in the kitchen and we could hear him preparing coffee.

'Oh hell, I hope he's not expecting us to drink coffee!' I thought.

"I'm not drinking coffee," Emmett whispered too low for Charlie to hear. I heard Rose give a quick, quiet, little giggle. Charlie was feeling unsure of himself and a little worried as he worked in the kitchen. I wondered what was going on in his head? We 'slept' for about another 30 minutes until Charlie decided he needed to wake us up.

He came to me first. I kind of figured I'd be first since Emmett still had Bella and he didn't really know Rose. He probably wanted an explanation before waking the others up, too. So when he lightly shook my shoulder I slowly woke up looking around like I was a bit confused. You have to learn these little things when you're a vampire.

I had never really worried about it until I started living with the Cullen's and started pretending to be human regularly. Then you watched television and movies with a new purpose. I looked at Charlie questioningly and then over at Emmett and Bella and smiled. I looked back at him a little sheepish, hoping I was conveying the right expression. I didn't want him to be mad at us and I thought the sight of Emmett and Bella was sweet.

"Sorry, morning Chief," I said quietly. "I guess we fell asleep waiting for Bella to wake up," I said quickly, hoping he'd know this wasn't 'planned'. It actually wasn't we just weren't paying attention to the time and Bella never did find her Emmett perch uncomfortable enough to wake up.

Charlie smiled at me and shook his head. "What are you doing here?" he asked, looking between me and Rose.

I smiled. "Well, Emmett called to tell us he was gonna be late because Bella fell asleep on him," I smiled widely at that statement and looked back over at the sleeping girl and the 'sleeping' vampires.

"Emmett told us that you said he could sleep on the sofa if he didn' wanna go home last night. When he called he said he was too tired to drive and Rose said we'd come and get him. So we were just waitin' for Bella to wake up and we were talkin' with each other. She seemed a bit cold so I got her quilt, and Rose, I guess grabbed the blanket off the sofa for herself. An' I guess we just… fell asleep. Bella never did wake up apparently," I said with a shrug.

"You guys really do take care of each other, huh?" Charlie smiled with happiness and pride.

"Yes, sir," I said with a nod. "And Bella too. We'll make sure she gets better," I said quietly but with conviction.

"Well, you're all welcome to stay anytime. Sorry again that I don't have the room for you three to just move in here. I didn't know I was going to be getting a bunch of kids," he said, feeling a bit melancholy. I think maybe he would have liked to have a big family.

"I guess… I need to be heading home so I can get ready for school. You want me to wake them up?" I asked nodding towards the sofa.

"Sure, I'm going to go start breakfast. You're welcome to stay if you like," he offered.

I shook my head. "I need to get home to get ready for school and I rode with Rose so she'll need to take me home, but Emmett might be able to have breakfast with you and Bella," I said with large grin.

A small rumble sounded from the sofa and my smile got even wider. I don't think Rose could take it anymore so she pretended to wake up on her own. "Oh, good morning, Chief Swan, Jasper," she said quietly while she stretched and yawned.

"I guess we fell asleep huh, Jasper?" she asked rhetorically and looked at Emmett and Bella and smiled. I remember the picture on my phone.

"Chief, do you want a copy of this picture? I took it last night." I pulled my phone out and showed him the picture. It was before the bulky blanket was put on Bella and you could see her clutching the teddy bear. It really was a cute picture.

His smile was melancholy as he nodded his head. I could smell the tears well up in his eyes but made no comment. He cleared his throat after a moment and we heard his cell beep in the kitchen signaling the receipt of the picture.

"Good morning… Rosalie, right?" he asked tentatively, his voice a bit huskier due to the emotion running through him. He walked closer to shake her hand. "It's nice to meet you," he said as he approached.

"It's nice to finally meet you too, sir. And you can call me Rose, that's what my family calls me," she said with a dazzling smile meeting his handshake.

"Well, I suppose I told the boys they could call me Dad yesterday, so the same goes for you young lady. Bella needs a sister. If you want that is," he added at the end, uncertain of his statement.

She smiled. "I'd be honored, dad," she responded with pride. She was glad to be included in this little family circle we were forming.

I stood and moved over to wake Bella first. "Bella? Darlin'? Wake up, sweetheart." I nudged her shoulder a little. She grumbled and snuggled further into Emmett. He smiled and opened his eyes, hugging her closer.

"Hey," he said to me acting like he was just waking up, too. I smiled back.

"Hey, we all fell asleep and it's mornin'. I need to go home and change for school. You can stay and have breakfast with Bella if you want. I rode with Rose so she's gonna have to take me home."

"Jazz, dude your class ain't till after lunch. Why don't you have breakfast with Bella and I'll take Rose home in her car and you can have my jeep," he suggested looking like he had just come up with a plan for world peace. I knew Emmett saying I could use his jeep was big thing. He never let anyone drive it. That's how bad he didn't want to eat breakfast.

Well he 'slept' all night with food in his stomach and I didn't get to spend any time with Bella, so I agreed. "Okay," I answered simply.

"Bells, wake up," Emmett said rubbing her side with a massive hand. She grumbled a little more, so I sent her a bit of happiness to help bring her around.

"Jasper?" she asked. She knew the happiness was from me. I couldn't help but smile at that thought and the fact that my name was the first thing she said when she woke up.

"Yeah, darlin'. I'm right here. It's time to wake up and get ready for school. I think Emmett might like to get up too," I said with a snicker. I didn't think she was awake enough to know where she was yet.

With that she sat up kind of quickly on Emmett's stomach. He laughed at her causing her to bob up and down. She was still clutching the teddy bear and the quilt had fallen onto the floor. She looked around at all of us.

"What's going on?" she asked. I smiled and looked at Rose. I really wanted her to talk to Bella even just a little. She got my drift and immediately became nervous.

"It's okay, Bella," she started sweetly. "You fell asleep on Emmett last night and Charlie told Emmett he could stay the night and move you to your bed once you woke up. Emmett called us and said he was too tired to drive but wanted to go home after you woke up. So, Jazz and I came to get him. While we were waiting for you to wake up, we all fell asleep in the living room," Rose explained it perfectly. Bella just stared at her. A vacant expression but I honestly think it was more in amazement than anything. Of course, Bella cut her emotions off from me the moment she sat up so I was just guessing.

Emmett laughed again and Bella bobbed up and down again. "Uhhh… Bells, you think you could get up?" he asked trying to appear uncomfortable. Which I'm sure he may have been with food in his stomach but he should have been able to deal with it just fine. I think that was more for Charlie's benefit. Who stood there silently with happiness and pride running around and overtaking his worry, sadness, and anger.

"Oh sorry, Em," Bella said as she hopped off him. We kind of chuckled at that. She looked so cute standing there a little unsure, still a little blank and holding the Valentine's Day teddy bear.

Emmett stood up and put his arm around Rose's shoulders giving her a little squeeze and a kiss on the temple followed by, "Mornin', babe." She smiled at his term of endearment.

"Morning dear." She smirked knowingly.

"I guess we'll get goin', have a good day at work, Chief," Emmett said as he headed for the front door pulling Rosalie behind him by her hand.

"You guys have a good day, too. Thanks for coming over. Are you sure you don't want to stay for breakfast? I can make enough for everyone?" he offered politely.

Rose shook her head, "That's okay. Emmett could eat a whole cow if you put it in front of him. I already have something for breakfast planned, but maybe some other time. Thank you though." I'm sure she had something planned alright. I smirked at them as they declined breakfast and made their way out.

"Bye dad!" Emmett hollered as they walked out the door.

"Bye dad," Rose stated more tentatively and then they were gone.

Charlie chuckled, "It sounds weird to hear them say that, partly because they are already so grown up. But it's nice. I hope it doesn't make you kids uncomfortable?" he asked looking at me.

"Not at all, sir. It's nice havin' family around and since we consider Bella part of our family it is greatly appreciated that you reciprocate that feelin'." I gave him a genuine smile, indicating I was pleased with the situation.

"If you're so comfortable, what is with all this 'sir' stuff? It makes me feel like an old man. Dad or Charlie but please stop with the sir thing." He laughed but requested seriously enough.

I laughed. "Okay, Dad. I call Carlisle sir a lot, too. It's the manners I was raised wit'." I laid the southern accent on thick with that sentence indicating the Southern roots were the reason for the formality. He smiled back and nodded his head.

"Guess I should respect good manners better, huh?"

I smiled. "It's fine, s-dad." I looked over at Bella who was just standing there gaping at our interaction. I chuckled at her. "You look like you're seen a miracle in progress, darlin'. You okay?" I asked, knowing her issue was the banter between Charlie and I and nothing more.

She dumbly nodded her head and closed her mouth. "Uhhh… I'm going to go get ready for school. I'll be back down in a few minutes."

Charlie and I nodded at her and made our way to the kitchen as she ascended the stairs, teddy bear in hand. "Would you like some help making breakfast, Charlie?" I asked. I was trying for the Dad thing but that just slipped out.

"Nah, I got it. Bacon and Eggs good?" he asked. "Yeah, whatever is fine. I'm not picky. I'm not a big breakfast person no matter what. I don't eat much in the mornings." I was trying to find ways to get out of eating while being around Charlie.

He nodded and began preparing breakfast. We talked about nothing in particular while he cooked. I told him about my first semester at Dartmouth, which I hadn't really taken but I had been to college enough times this was no big deal. I even suggested that Bella apply there so we could all be together and he agreed that was a 'great idea'. I smiled at his enthusiasm at the idea. I knew my feelings for Bella were growing and should she ever return them that would make things much easier. Even Fuckward never had the _in_ with her father.

She did seem much better today. She was more responsive, even with the black eyes, the bags under her eyes weren't as bad. Her hair and skin seemed better too, probably because she was eating more.

"I wanna apologize again, dad. I know it's not my fault, but I feel I should'a done somethin' to stop her from gettin' hurt yesterday." I hung my head, I really did feel bad. I wanted to protect her and keep her safe and I failed at that.

He leaned over and put a hand on my shoulder. "Son, I know it's not your fault and though I wish there was something you could have done, there wasn't. It was supposed to hit you and you just dodged it like any normal person would do. No one intended for it to hit Bella. I'm sorry you feel bad… I'd really like her to press charges against the brat so he won't do that kind of shit again," he spoke softly but with vehemence as he ended his statement. He felt a little sheepish for the cussing as soon as he did it but didn't say anything.

I smiled widely. "Well to be honest with you, dad. If I'm talking to you as Dad and not as Chief of police that is…," I paused giving him a knowing look.

His curiosity was peaked; he raised an eyebrow and nodded for me to continue.

"I… uhhh… well… I… sort of… took… care of that… already," I stuttered out. I wasn't quite as nervous as I portrayed telling him this, but I didn't want him to get angry with me either.

His eyebrows raised more and he nodded again for me to go on.

"Well… I… paid… him a visit… at work… yesterday… after… I left here," I paused again. "Rose was with me." I thought this piece of information may make it sound better. He nodded again keeping quite the whole time. "I just told him… well… that he shouldn't've done that… and maybe, I threatened him a… little?" I said, raising my voice at the end, indicating I was nervous and questioning if I should be telling him this.

"Should I be worried that _he's_ going to press charges, son?" he asked slightly proud, a bit happy, and very worried.

"I don't think so. I don't think he'd care to admit to the whole situation," I said with a large smirk. Now he was really interested, and I let that nugget hang there for a minute. "Well…," I laughed. "I may have…umm…madehimwethimself," I said the last part quickly and then burst into laughter. Charlie's eyes got wide.

He was trying very hard not to laugh. "What did you do, Jasper?" I could tell he wasn't sure if knowing the answer was a good a thing.

I looked at him and shook my head. "Better if I don't tell you, but he was not injured at all and he will not be botherin' Bella or anyone in my family ever again. That, I made sure of," I said with a Cheshire grin. "Nothin' will harm her anymore, not even herself if I have anythin' to say about it." I trailed off satisfied I was going to get away with it.

Bella was walking around the corner as I finished my sentence. I was of course not expecting what happened next. She always surprised me.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?" she yelled at me, standing only a couple inches from my face. Her eyes still blank but they were swimming with tears.

'What?!'

She was clutching the teddy bear and appeared to be dressed for school.

'What did I do?' I looked over at Charlie who was just as confused as I was.


	12. Chapter 12

_Chapter 12_

"Bella?" I asked tentatively.

I really didn't want her to be upset. I didn't know what I had done. I thought back through the end of the conversation I had with Charlie. Realization dawned on me but I was still confused. Either she was angry because I threatened Newton or because I said I was going to keep her safe even from herself. She may think I told on her. I wouldn't do that! Not unless I thought she was really going to hurt herself. I also noticed the faint odor of fresh blood and antiseptic cream. She was cutting again?

"Ummm… Bella, do you wanna go upstairs and talk for a minute, darlin'. I don't know what I did," I said sincerely. I sent her some comfort and she didn't acknowledge it, at all.

She stood there closely looking into my eyes with her haunting stare and tear filled eyes. It was almost enough to make _me_ want to look away but I wasn't ashamed of what I did on the one hand and I didn't do the thing she thought I did on the other. Whichever it was, we needed to speak privately before she outted herself to Charlie. She just stared at me and I stared back. Charlie cleared his throat to get our attention but I wasn't looking away and neither was she.

"Dad." I definitely had to play the Dad card right now. "Do you think you could give us a minute?" I asked him never breaking eye contact with Bella. This little 90lb frail girl was not going to stare me down. Since I couldn't feel her I was really in the dark as to what this encounter was going to be like but if the yelling was any indication it wasn't going to be pleasant.

"Uh… um… sure, I need to leave for work… so… I'll see you kids later. You're all welcome to come for dinner, too," he said as he continued to look between us with suspicion and worry.

"Thank you. I'll let the others know," I said flatly.

"Bella, have a good day at school, honey," he said unsure of his words.

"Thanks, dad," she responded flatly also, never breaking her gaze.

Charlie shook his head, and though he was worried, he trusted me enough I suppose because he left without a backward glance. As soon as he was out of ear shot I focused my eyes on hers more, giving her a more menacing glare.

"Wanna talk?" I asked somewhat angrily. She didn't move, didn't speak. I waited but she was right in my face and she smelled very appetizing.

"Back the fuck up, little girl," I said threateningly.

Her eyes widened a bit acknowledging the threat but she still waited a few seconds before she moved. One step back. Never breaking her stare. Well at least she has a bit of sense, but not enough. I needed her to eat and get to school; I didn't have time for these games so I stood up, her eyes stayed locked with mine as I rose.

I grabbed her by the arms turned her around and sat her in the chair I just vacated. I pushed her down with a little too much force as she "huffed" the air of out her lungs and winced. I'm not sure what part hurt her but I didn't mean to hurt her at all.

"Bella, what are you upset about, darlin'?" I asked lovingly as I crouched down in front of her.

We needed to get past this and obviously I was the one that was going to have to make the effort. Boy was she stubborn. I raised an eyebrow at her after a few seconds of constant staring.

"Bel-la," I growled at her. She still didn't respond. "Fine, eat your breakfast and I'll take you to school," I stated sharply. I got up walked into the living room leaving her there to glare at my backside as I walked away.

I heard nothing in the room so I gave her until it was time to leave for school. She was still sitting there and her eyes focused in on me as I entered the room. "Skippin' breakfast, huh? Okay. We'll eat at lunch. You ready to go?" I asked as if nothing was wrong. She wasn't going to tell me what the issue was then I decided there was no issue.

I smelled the fresh blood and the cream again when I walked into the kitchen and I wanted to ask her about it but if she wasn't talking to me now, I knew she wasn't going to talk to me about that. I knew she took care of it put a bandage on it. I could smell the bandage too and the blood was very minimal. I would talk to her about it later.

She just stared at me. This was getting old quick. I had a feeling my next move would make her face hurt but it was going to happen anyway. I walked up to her and held my hand out to help her up. She continued to glare at me with a lot of anger and some emptiness. I wish I knew what she was feeling at least. But I got nothing.

I leaned in and whispered, "You're goin' to school, _now_. We'll talk later." With that I leaned forward grabbed her by the waist threw her over my shoulder and headed for Emmett's jeep. I stopped and got her book bag, on the way out. She never said anything but I'm sure the blood rushing to her bruised and swollen face had to be painful.

I deposited her in the passenger side of the jeep and buckled her in. I tossed her bag in the backseat as I hopped in. Emmett left the keys in the ignition for me; I fired it up and headed towards school.

"Sorry, if that hurt you at all Bella, but I'm not playin' these games. You wanna confront me then do it. But don't yell at me and then shut down like that explains everythin'. You better figure out how you are gonna do this, 'cause I am not leavin' and I am gonna help you get through all of this," I said sincerely looking over at her. She looked straight ahead.

When I pulled up in front of the school she didn't move. "Are you gonna git out or am I carryin' ya to first period?" I asked her as I reached in the back for her book bag. When I brought it forward she reached out for it and I let her take it.

I turned to get out of the jeep, to help her out and she said sharply, "Don't."

I looked at her waiting for further explanation. She just turned and got down by herself. I was upset. I watched her walk into the building with all the people staring at her face as she went. I wished she wasn't upset with me, today of all days.

I waited for a few minutes and I could hear the whispering gossip about Bella getting hit with the tray by Mike, some said by me, some said I was jealous of Emmett so I did it on purpose. There was even talk of Fuckward coming back and she was going to choose him over me. So I hit her. I really did feel bad sending Bella in there all alone. I just wanted to protect her from all of this shit, from the big bad world, I guess. I also knew that was part of Fuckward's issue. He wanted to protect her so much he left her and he broke her. I still didn't know everything that happened. She was beautiful and sweet and he left her out in the woods like a piece of garbage.

I was getting angry and school was no place for me to be. I made my way back to the house until it was time for me to return for lunch.

'I hope the other kids are nice to her,' I thought.

I huffed at myself. I sound like an overprotective parent. Even worse, I didn't want to think of her like my kid or even my sister. Emmett loved that she was his sister. Rosalie seemed to be accepting the fact fairly easily, also. But what was she to me? A friend? No. She was definitely more than a friend. I am an empath; if I truly put a name to the way I felt about her, I loved her. Not like a daughter, or sister, or friend, but like a woman. She was a woman and I was a man. Albeit, I am a very old man, stuck in a young scarred up body.

"My scars," I sighed to myself as I arrived at the house.

I went in to find Rose and Emmett sitting at the dining room table playing cards.

"Breakfast?" I asked. I figured they'd be making a mess of their room or the forest by now.

"We thought you'd want to talk when you got back, so we… uhhmmm… took care of that already," Rose said with a smile.

"Everything go okay after we left?" Emmett asked.

I'm sure the look on my face was enough for them to understand that things were not okay. Rose got up and came over putting her arm around my waist and drawing me into her hip.

"What happened?" she asked disheartened.

I looked at both of them and sighed. I motioned for Rose to sit back down and moved to get a chair next to her.

"I think she heard me talking to Charlie and either she is mad because I threatened Newton or she thinks I told Charlie about her self-harm. Which I didn't." I gave it to them straight.

They looked at each other and back at me.

"Why aren't you sure which it is?" Emmett asked.

"Because both things could be found in two sentences back to back right before she entered the room. I said, 'he was not injured at all and he will not be botherin' Bella or anyone in my family ever again. That I made sure of', and followed it up with, 'nothin' will harm her anymore, not even herself if I have anythin' to say about it." I looked at them as I repeated my words to Charlie earlier.

They nodded their heads in understanding.

"What did she do?" Emmett asked. They were both worried about her.

"She yelled, 'what did you do?' at me, in front of Charlie and then glared at me until I dropped her off at school. She didn't say nothin' else, didn't eat her breakfast, though I didn't try to eat with her. I tried to give her some space to cool down but she never did. She had fire in her eyes with that emptiness and it was fuckin' eerie as shit. But, I'm not gonna let her get to me, scare me away or push me away or whatever she's tryin' to do," I told them.

They were proud that I said that but still concerned about Bella's well-being.

"Maybe, I could try to talk to her?" Rose asked timidly.

"Rose, I think that's a great idea," I said. "You need to make a connection with her and she might like to have a female to talk to. You really don't mind?" I drawled out. I knew she didn't mind but I wanted to be clear she was volunteering for this mission.

She smiled and shook her head at me. I chuckled and they both gave me a questioning look.

"Non-verbal females," I replied with a smirk towards Rosalie. They both smirked back, knowingly.

"Rose, I don't really know what I can tell you to help you when you go to speak with her, just do the best you can. I never confronted her with why I thought she was mad at me. I was waitin' for her to come to me since she felt it necessary to get right in my face and yell. That woman has some serious emotional issues," I said exasperated.

"Woman? She's my baby sister, I'd hardly call her a woman, Jazz," Emmett said questioning me.

"Listen Em, I know she's your baby sis and I wouldn' have it any other way, but that does not change the fact that she _is_ a woman. She is 18 years old which as an American human female, she is qualified to be seen as a woman. Back in my day as a human she would have been a woman at a much younger age and suitable for marryin'," I said sounding like an old man.

'What is with me?'

"Jazz?" Rose was curious and nervous.

"Yeah?" I quirked an eyebrow at her.

"Do you… uhh…" she looked over at Emmett her nervousness was growing and both my eyebrows raised in question. "Do you have feelings for Bella?" she nearly whispered, looking at me but constantly stealing glances at Emmett out of the corner of her eye.

"What? Rose, that's ridiculous! Tell her that's ridiculous, Jazz!" Emmett jumped up and started pacing emitting anger, worry, and disbelief. So he thought it was true, though, his words didn't match his emotions.

I sighed heavily which brought everyone's attention back to me.

"Yes." I nodded my head once and a split second later anger raged through the room and Emmett was flying at me. I dodged the attack pushing him to the side as he zoomed past me, consequently landing in the side of Esme's refrigerator causing a door to break off and a major dent in the side, not to mention the counter splintered and cracked with the force of the refrigerator and Emmett sliding into it. We're going to need a new refrigerator that's for sure.

"EMMETT!" Rose yelled chastising him, and I was sending all the calm I could to keep him in control.

"Let me be angry with you, you little lying cheating asshole!" he growled out through clenched teeth. His body was too calm for him to attack me but I couldn't change his thoughts.

"She. Is. Not. A. Toy!" He ground out while Rose kept her arms around him, more comforting than restraining. "She is my sister! HOW COULD YOU!?" he yelled.

"I didn't do anything, Em," I stated calmly. "Rose asked if I had feelin's for her and the answer is, yes. I'm sorry if that upset you, but it doesn' change how I feel about her. I honestly don't know how or why this is happening. She's human, and not anywhere near ready for a relationship, but I feel a certain need to take care of her, protect her, and I get anxious when she's not around. Like right now it's killin' me that I can't be sittin' in school with her." I gave him a pleading look, hoping he'd understand.

"Well that's how I feel about her too. I love her too, man. LIKE. A. SISTER!" He finished shouting the part at me emphasizing the last three words.

"I didn't say I love her," I pointed out to him.

"You didn't deny it either," he sighed, resignation taking the place of his anger. "Man you can't. She's too broken, devastated. Look at what she's like 4 months _after_ Edward broke up with her. If you were to try something and it didn't work out there'd be nothing left. I can't lose her. Not again." He was pleading with me to understand.

He may be a big teddy bear and a goof ball at times but just like all the emotions he felt, when he felt something for someone, it was strong. Bella might as well have been his biological sister that he had known for his whole life. He loved her that much. And though Rose was a bit jealous, I think it was more for her lack of relationship with Bella than her husband's love for his sister. Rose knew he loved her fiercely. He was a strong man, body and heart. I didn't want him angry with me. He was my brother too.

"Emmett, I KNOW! Okay. I KNOW! And if I ever see Fuckward again he will know what it's like to run for his life. I. PROMISE. THAT. He did this to her. And it's breakin' my heart Em, every minute of every day it's breakin' my heart to see her like that. To know what a beautiful, intelligent, lovin' creature she is and knowin' that she has been reduced to that. I still can't believe he left her to get lost in the woods. And I'm guessin' there's more to that story that is gonna add more firewood to his pyre, as soon as we hear 'bout it."

I let him feel my sincerity and love. He just nodded. Rose continued to hold him and her tongue, for which I was grateful. She felt worry, love, pride, and a bit of jealousy as our discussion came to a close. Emmett slumped into her, acquiescent of my feelings.

I decided to hunt quickly before going to school, just a snack. When I got there I went to meet Bella outside of her classroom. She was again the last one out but this time she saw me and continued to walk off anyway. I guess I should quit hoping she got over whatever her issue was.

"I actually need to talk to you, Miss Thang," I drawled kind of rudely as I grabbed her arm and pulled her back towards me. She tripped a bit at the backward movement but I didn't let her fall. I turned her around to face me. The hall was full of students looking at us as they walked slowly by.

I realized I wasn't going to get any peace with her in the cafeteria either. Eyes and ears would continue prying.

"We're goin' out for lunch," I said and directed her towards the parking lot.

"We can't leave just to go to lunch, Jasper," she said in that damned monotone voice.

"We're goin'," I said and led her to my truck.

She didn't put up a fuss getting in and I walked around at a human pace so we could go. I figured she wouldn't want to make something at her house so I took her to the diner.

We pulled up and went in. We got a booth and I sat across from her. She never looked at me, she was always staring at the floor or the table. The waitress dropped off menus throwing some lust my way. I rolled my eyes as she walked away.

"You skipped breakfast, you're gonna need to eat, darlin'," I said as gently as possible.

The first thing I've said to her since we left the school. She picked the menu up and started looking at it. I watched her hoping she was going to order something when the waitress returned. I suppose that's why I didn't notice the cop car pull up outside.

"Ahem," Charlie cleared his throat as he walked up to our table.

I felt a bit like a deer caught in the headlights and I'm sure my eyes had to be big. How did I explain this one? I sent him a little bit of humor hoping he would not be angry. He wasn't actually angry when he saw us though just worried and curious.

"Aren't you two supposed to be in school?" he asked with a smile. I looked over at Bella who was still looking at the menu like Charlie hadn't just walked up to our table.

"It's lunchtime, Chief wanna join us, I'm buyin'?" I asked politely. "I can't let you do that, son. Anyways, I was just stopping in to get my own lunch and take it back to the station. I called ahead." He smiled at me but gave a slight frown towards Bella who was ignoring him. It was hurting him to be ignored by his own daughter.

"Don't worry she's not talkin' to me either. Hasn't since she yelled at me this mornin' that's why I brought her here to try to get her to talk away from the other students," I explained to him.

He nodded in understanding.

'Non-verbal family?' I mused to myself for a moment, laughing internally at my own wry humor. I shook my head a bit and looked back up at Charlie.

"I hope you don't mind. I'll get her back in time for her next class." I needed to play the good guy here.

"That's fine. I understand. You two have a good lunch and thanks for the offer," he said again feeling hope and worry.

"Bye dad," I threw in as he turned to walk away and he waved in response.

The waitress was approaching us at that same moment to get our order and was shocked when she heard me call Charlie dad. I smiled. That was going to spread through this town like wildfire now. Can't get away from the gossip. Oh well.

"What can I get you?" she asked me sweetly. I pointed her towards Bella who was glaring at her. Damn! Emotion is back and her name is fury. I can't feel it but anyone would be blind to see that she was downright pissed and pointing it towards the waitress. 'What the hell?'

The waitress blanched at the look but repeated towards Bella, "What can I get you?"

Bella looked over to me and with a sneer said, "I'll have what he's having."

Well. I looked down at the menu at ordered two chicken salad sandwiches with fries and two cokes.

"PMSing are we?" I asked with angry sarcasm. I was getting sick of this shit. On the converse side, she was showing emotion and I was glad that that was the case.

She narrowed her eyes at me still full of fire with a hint of that hollowness. She was getting better but that meant that her anger was shining through. I didn't really care it's not like she could hurt me physically. And the only way she could really hurt me was to tell me to leave. I've opened myself to her. Damn, this girl had already seen me cry, twice!

"Well?" I asked prompting her to answer.

"No," she stated calmly and flat. The tone in her voice did not match the anger in her eyes. It was a bit disconcerting.

"Bella, I'm gonna ask you again and I would appreciate an answer this time. Why are you mad at me? What did I do?" I asked her calmly and directly.

"What? You're not a mind reader so you don't know? You don't know that I trusted you and you betrayed me? To. MY. FATHER!" she increased her volume as she spoke until the last word was a yell.

Now everyone in the diner was looking at us. I sent her some calm but it didn't appear to have an effect. She had great control and I couldn't sense her, so I was a bit lost. We both flinched when she mentioned the mind reader but it didn't deter her any.

I was thankful that Chief Swan had gotten his food and left by this time. I could also assume though that if he was still here she would not be screeching like a Banshee.

"Bella," I said shaking my head. "Calm down, I did not betray you to anyone," I said softly.

"I heard you. I heard that you don't think I can fight my own battles, that you attacked Mike Newton, and that you told my father I was hurting myself," she seethed through gritted teeth.

And all I could feel was relief. I laughed. I know it was wrong but I laughed.

I was happy she was talking to me I was glad to know what her issues were so we could work through them and I was glad that she was wrong about one part of her statement. She stared at me with wide eyes. I laughed more. She was coming back to life and she was mad at me. It may have been an inappropriate response but I was so thrilled I couldn't help myself.

"I fail to see how your betrayal is funny," she stated flatly.

The waitress brought our food and I proceeded to watch to see if she was going to eat. When she just stared back I grabbed a fry and ate it. She was still staring at me and I was grinning like I'd won the lottery, even after the fry. She finally sent me some of the anger and betrayal she felt as an indication that she was waiting.

I still don't understand how she does that.

Carlisle figured it had something to with the same reason that Fuckward couldn't hear her and she's been able to tap into it due to her severe emotional and mental distress. I guess that made sense.

"Okay... first off. I did not tell your Dad anything. I simply told him I was gonna protect you even from yourself. That's all that you heard and that's all that was said. He's worried that you're gonna start doin' what you're already doin' but I didn' tell him nuthin'. Okay?" I said this quietly to avoid attention in the diner.

She nodded.

"As for the second part, I confronted Newton because he was after me, not you. Bella, that tray was meant for me. Yes, I was pissed because he hurt you and that is ultimately why I went to see him but I did not do it because you can't fight your own battles. You're Dad wanted you to press charges and you refused, so I took care of your problem and mine at the same time. You can be mad at me but I'd do it again," I said seriously looking her in the eye to make her understand just how serious I was. I'd do anything for her.

'Whoa. Where'd that come from?' I looked back at her and it appeared as though she was deciding what to say next. I had a question for her and might as well get it out of the way; I cleared my throat and nodded towards her plate of food. She looked at it and picked up the sandwich. Good.

"Well… while you decide if you want to be mad at me for that. Why are you protectin' Newton anyway?" She looked at me like I had punched her. She even seemed to flinch ever so slightly.

After a long pause all she finally said was, "Because it was an accident."

I raised my eyebrow and she took a bite of her sandwich. Sneaky. She knows I'm not going to interrupt her if she's eating. She's so playing me right now and I can't even be mad because she's not a zombie. I watched in silence as she ate her whole sandwich and then it was time to return to school. I, thankfully, only wound up eating the one fry that I was still going to have to get rid of later.

Once we were in the truck and headed back towards the school I asked Bella again, "So why you protectin' him? Do you like him or something?" I asked for two reasons. One, I felt slightly jealous and wanted to know and two, I needed to know if she had an interest in him. I looked over at her and she was trying not to smile. She does like him. I felt my cold dead heart sink straight to my feet. I'm glad I couldn't pale, otherwise I think I would have. I tried not to show any emotion but it was difficult. I didn't realize until this moment exactly how much I _liked_ Isabella Swan.

Faced with the information that she liked someone else, I was devastated. I still couldn't leave. That's how much I was in this. Even if she married another, I couldn't leave her. I guess I'd have to take on the role of big brother just like Emmett. Emmett. I wonder what he'll think about her dating Newton. I guess it's for the best; we're not even the same species. Through my inner turmoil I didn't notice that I had arrived at the school and Bella was trying to get my attention.

I saw the hand wave in front of my face frantically and I focused in on Bella's face. She appeared slightly concerned.

"Jasper, you okay? Did you hear anything I said?" I looked at her for a moment and realized if she had said anything, I didn't hear it. Just then the bell rang and she looked towards the school. "We gotta go or we'll be late." And she hopped out of the truck leaving me there wondering what I had missed.

I got out and made my way to the boys' locker room. I changed listening to gossip of why I was there and "the fight" from yesterday. No one said anything about Bella's broken face. It was all about me and Mike. I walked into the gym to find Bella sitting on the bleachers where everyone else was but separate and alone. She really didn't talk to anyone anymore. I walked over to her and the whole gym got quiet. I sat down next to her and didn't say anything. I doubt she wanted more attention drawn to us. She sent me some embarrassment so I knew how she felt. I looked at her and tried to smile warmly.

I wasn't sure what to do now. How I should behave. She liked Newton. Newton! Gah! His outlook on women was horrendous. She couldn't be with someone like that. Hopefully, he'd stay away from her now anyway. I guess that's reason enough for her to be mad at me. She didn't want me to scare him away.

Coach Clapp came in and started class. We were to start with running. He asked Bella if she wanted to participate because of her face. She gave him a flat 'yes' and took off after the other kids. I did my part and ran beside her without ever saying a word.

There were too many people around and they were all focused on us with curiosity, so talking was out. I hoped this was the one class we could talk and that's why I chose it to retake. Well, in a week or two I

won't be the novelty anymore. I hoped. I caught her a few times as she tripped during class but other than that we did not interact.

We got done with class and changed. I met Bella outside the girls' locker room door to walk her to her next class. We stopped at her locker.

"Bella, I'd really like for you to tell me what I missed earlier?" I asked, not sure I wanted to hear it because it probably had to do with the vile revolting Mike Newton. I pleaded to her with my eyes. And she got that look again. The look where she was trying not to laugh and her eyes sparkled. She was beautiful despite the bruising. Was she laughing at me?

'Oh God! Does she know I'm jealous?' I did it again. I zoned out for a split second and missed something. She was walking off. I jogged to catch up to her.

"I'm sorry Bella, truly I am. I have a lot on my mind, is all. Listen, I want us to talk later. But if it's okay with you Rose wants to pick you up from school?" I had to let her know before I left or Rose would kill me.

She stopped short at this information and looked at me. She didn't have a discernible expression but I knew she was probably nervous; Rose wasn't exactly nice to her in the past.

"Is that okay, Bella? She just wants to talk, make amends. She thought since you were so mad at me this morning you might like the girl talk." I was hoping she understood this really was Rose's idea.

"Yeah, sure… that's fine," she responded hollowly. And she went into her classroom. She didn't even say goodbye.

I didn't go home, I dropped my truck off but headed straight for the forest. I needed time to clear my head. I needed to come to terms with the fact that she liked fucking Mike Newton. Just the thought of his slimy greasy hands anywhere near her, pissed me off. I might be able to deal with her dating anyone _but_ him! I sat for hours and let the despair over take me. I couldn't believe how much it hurt to know she liked someone else, and not just anyone, but an asshole to boot. Who needs a boot in his-

I was miserable. I should leave. I couldn't leave. I promised her, but that's when I thought I could be close to her. That didn't change. She didn't tell me to leave. I don't think. Shit! What if she did and that's what I missed when she was talking to me earlier. Damn it! What do I do now? Do I go and ask if I should leave, because I wasn't paying attention earlier, and I didn't catch it if she asked me to go. I did the only thing someone in my position could do.

I cried. Tearless sobs racked through my body as I felt my heart break. Dear God, was this what she felt when _he_ left? It was hopelessness, devastation, anxiety, all the negative emotions in one crushing ball. What if she didn't want me?

I finally sobered up and looked around. I was sitting in the middle of the forest in a slight drizzle crying because a human girl didn't want me. This is what I have been reduced to? I was a fighter, a soldier. Ididn't give up when the going gets tough, and I don't lose! Ever! Yep a little pep talk is all I needed. And I knew exactly where to find it. I pulled my phone out and dialed the one person I knew who could always give me hope when I needed it most.


	13. Chapter 13

_Chapter 13_

"Yes, yes, you're the man, you are awesome, you need to go get the girl and quit pansy-assin' around," the voice answered on the other end of the phone and drawled as if he was bored.

I chuckled. "How do you do that?" I asked, knowing I'd never get an answer.

"Just go get her and quit whinin'. Damn man do you need more of a pep talk or are you good for the day, I'm kinda busy." He was annoyed.

I laughed a bit. I guess I was being kind of whiny, even if no one was around to see it. "I'm good man, thanks! Oh and Peter, you and Charlotte should come visit. I want you to meet her," I suggested.

"I know, we're gonna come out durin' spring break, so you guys will be able to spend more time with us and not have the school interruption thing," he said, just like he'd been planning this for a year. I learned many years ago you just don't question Peter. You aren't going to get an answer anyway.

"Thanks brother, see you in a month then," I said as I hung up the phone.

That was more than the pep talk I needed. Peter saw me getting the girl. I think. He had been planning to come and visit so he could meet her. The last time they were here Fuckward wouldn't let her around them at all. He wasn't really dating her then but he felt the need to protect her from them. They would never harm a human that we cared about. Just because they don't see the reason to deprive themselves of their natural food doesn't mean anything. If anything what it does mean is that they are less of a danger to her than we are. It's easy to resist the steak if you had one yesterday, kind of thing.

I had been out here long enough that my clothes were soaked and upon further inspection it was already almost 10pm. She'll be going to bed soon. I wondered if she'd want my help tonight? It'd be nice if I got to cuddle with her just one more time. My heart swelled with hope that she would allow that tonight. It didn't matter that she was lusting after Newton. If I could be there for her maybe she'd change her mind. If I didn't hurt her the way either of them did, maybe, just maybe I stood a chance. I smiled a bit to myself. I was not going to give up.

I ran back to the house and found that no one was home. I got cleaned up quickly changing into sweat pants and a t-shirt to be more comfortable for the night and then headed over to Bella's. When I got there both Rose's red BMW car and Emmett's big red jeep were in the driveway. I made my way to the front door and listened for Charlie. They were all in the living room talking. I wasn't sure what to do. It was too late to be showing up at their house and I didn't bring a car, not to mention I wasn't exactly dressed for the occasion. My phone beeped.

 **Alice: Just knock it'll be fine**

I smiled. 'Thanks Alice'. I knocked.

Charlie answered the door.

"Hey Chief." I smiled at him. He stepped back to let me in.

"What are you doing here, Jasper?" he asked out of curiosity, he was happy to see me though.

"It was kind of lonely at home and I thought I'd drop in to see you and Bella, but it turns out this is just the place to be," I said smiling at him and glancing towards the rest of my family in the living room. He smiled at that and we entered the living room.

Emmett, Rose, and Bella were all on the sofa with Emmett in the middle and Charlie took the recliner.

"You can bring a chair in from the kitchen or try to squeeze on the sofa if you want Jasper." He pointed towards the sofa.

"Oh, I think I can squeeze." I moved towards the sofa and everyone shifted down so I could sit next to Bella, who was hugging her teddy bear close to her once again. It was a tight fit on the sofa but I didn't plan on having it that way for long. I put my arm around Bella to make more room, of course.

"So what are you guys doin'?" I asked.

Charlie said he came home and Rose and Bella were making dinner so they invited Emmett over but no one knew where I was. I looked over at them and they looked a bit sheepish. They could have called me. On the bright side, they spared me eating dinner which apparently they didn't spare themselves. So I sent them a little gratitude and received knowing smiles in return.

I shifted around a bit and so did Bella. I'm sure she wasn't comfortable squished between two rock solid and cold vampires. It really didn't bother me but I was going to get what I wanted. About 8 minutes after I sat down I let out a huff and grabbed Bella under the arms picked her up and placed her in my lap. Shock became the dominate emotion in the room, as I settled myself under Bella. She turned and looked at me letting me feel her shock also. Charlie was a little upset but nothing bad. He wasn't angry with me.

I wrapped my arms around Bella and settled them in her lap, she placed one hand on one of mine and kept the other securely attached around her teddy bear and I couldn't have been happier. I hadn't lost her, she hadn't told me to leave. Even if she was just playing nice in front of Charlie, she wouldn't have had to cover my hand with her own. Charlie raised an eyebrow at me and I just shrugged with a smile. He returned the smile and continued to catch me up on their evening.

We were laughing and sharing stories. We got to hear a lot about Bella's childhood years. Though she didn't contribute to the conversation much, she seemed to be interested. Charlie really knew a lot about her childhood years though she lived with Renee for most of them. He must have had regular conversations with her to find out about Bella. I wondered if Bella knew that?

We shared some of our experiences with Carlisle and Esme but never talked about our childhoods. Charlie had a sense of remorse at times. I'm guessing because he knew we were all 'adopted'. And he never asked any questions. He took what we offered most of which were goofy things Emmett had done over the years. And we were all careful to avoid stories with _him_ in them. Which I am sure everyone realized and no doubt Bella and Charlie were both grateful for.

Before we knew it, it was almost midnight and Charlie and Bella were getting sleepy. We bid goodnight to the humans and prepared to leave the house. Emmett picked Bella up and swung her around in a hug. I chuckled at the sight. Bella didn't really react she just clutched her bear closer and closed her eyes. Probably trying to avoid being sick. Rose hugged Charlie while Emmett and I shook his hand. Rose gave Bella a one armed hug and kissed the top of her head, and her and Emmett headed for the door. I walked over to Bella, and even though she had just been sitting in my lap, I still wasn't sure if I should hug her or not. I put one arm around her like Rose did figuring that would be acceptable and she curled into my chest. I sighed happily and brought my other arm around to embrace her. She didn't hug back. Her arms were trapped between us still clutching at her bear.

"You want me to come back tonight?" I whispered in her ear and gently nuzzled the top of her head. She shivered with my whisper and that made me smile. She nodded her head barely but that was answer enough. I stepped back and went to join Emmett and Rose who were waiting for me at the door.

"Night Dad!" we all rang out at the same time and that effectively started a new round of laughter. Charlie laughed also and shook his head.

"Good night kids, be careful going home," he said and he headed for the stairs.

"I'll be right back," I said to Bella as she locked the door. She never laughed or even smiled tonight but she seemed lighter. She didn't seem as depressed. She didn't seem to mind us calling Charlie dad, either.

But all of this is just what it seemed. It may not be the way it really was. Bella was more verbal. More likely to answer and offer information, the vacancy in her eyes was almost completely gone. She's coming back. Anger she can express, happiness and humor not quite there yet. But she's making progress so I can't argue. And she seems to be letting all of her anger out on me. I'm not quite sure what to make of that.

I walked with Emmett and Rose to their cars. "Thanks for sparing me dinner tonight guys," I said honestly. They both had small smiles.

"We did it more for all of us; it seemed you needed time alone and it gave the rest of us time to get to know each other," Rosalie said.

"How did your afternoon with Bella go?" I asked very interested to know the outcome.

"Well, it was difficult to get her to talk at first. I apologized for being a bitch to her before and told her I really did want us to be sisters. After I said that she seemed to open up a bit more. She should really tell you what we talked about, but I did explain to her that I thought she was being too hard on you," she said nervously.

"I didn't know if it was my place but she's really getting to you, whether you want to admit it or not and we can all see it. I just told her to take it easy, because you really cared. She was happy, I think, to have someone to talk to; though I did most of the talking. Naturally, we avoided the key subjects, Edward, self-harm, Mike." She looked at me sincerely when she spoke her next words.

"She likes you too, Jazz. And I'm telling you this because I don't want you to give up on her. I think it could really hurt her, so if you do love her or like her at all, be careful." She was somber in her statement and looked from me to Emmett.

I nodded. "I won't hurt her," I said with vehemence.

"You guys better go Charlie's probably wonderin' why we're all standin' out here if he's still awake. I'll ride off with you and run back. Just drop me a couple blocks down Em," I instructed them. When we got a couple blocks away Rosalie kept going and Emmett turned on a side road in a patch of trees and stopped.

"Thanks." I turned to hop out of the jeep when his big steel hand grabbed my upper arm to stop me.

My natural reaction was to attack but I stopped. However, I was unable to lower the growl that made its way out. Emmett looked at me shocked and released me at once.

"Man, I just wanted you to wait a minute," he said, a bit nervous that I might still attack.

I shook my head.

"Dude, you don't just grab someone like that. I really wanted to rip your arm off for that one," I said turning back in my seat to face him.

"Yeah, sorry. I just wanted to say I'm sorry about this morning and trying to attack you. I may have gotten a bit crazy but just look at her. I can't help it, man. I'm sorry." He hung his head and I could feel his remorse and worry.

"Emmett, don' worry 'bout it. I knew you wouldn't be happy when you found out. I didn' know how to soften the blow none either. Just know that I won't hurt her. We are passionate creatures and I love her more every day."

His eyes widened with my statement.

"Yes, I said I love her. I did some soul searchin' this afternoon and I can't deny it. I'll take whatever she's willin' to give and I won't leave her again. If it's Mike Newton she wants then he gets me, too. I'll stay with her until her dyin' day or until she sends me away. Even then, I doubt I'd go far," I said with conviction and let Emmett feel it from me as well.

"I'd ask if you're sure. But it seems like there's no talking you out of it, huh? Just please, please heed Rosalie's advice. If she does like you too, don't screw it up. Make it forever man, because she is just as passionate as we are. If she ever gets back to her normal self, I'll be amazed." He trailed off his plea into a mumbling more to himself at the end. He was looking at the gear shift in the jeep feeling worry, fear, and sadness.

"Emmett, look at me," I requested and he raised his head slowly.

"I will take care of her and if I should fuck up, you have my permission to kick my ass and I won't even fight you on it. Not to mention that I don't think you're ever gonna leave her again either, are you?" This was something I was sure of but I needed to know.

He smiled a sad smile. "I may not always be as close as you are Jazz, but she will always know how to find me, from now on. And I will always be at her beck and call." He nodded his head and looked away again.

If I didn't know better I'd say Emmett was on the verge of tears. Hell, his emotions had me almost on the verge of tears. I sent him some calm and happiness. He looked up and gave me another thoughtful smile.

"Go take care of her man, she's waiting for you," he said as he slapped me on the back. I nodded and ran back to the house.

That was a bit intense and I'm pretty sure I heard Emmett bite back a sob as I ran into the trees. His emotions were so down it could happen. But I wouldn't ask him about it. He's entitled to worry and to care. We almost lost her and may have if I hadn't come back.

I got to the house and Charlie was definitely asleep; I could hear him snoring easily throughout the house. I let myself in and went upstairs. She was lying in bed hugging her teddy bear and appeared asleep but I couldn't feel her emotions so I knew she was awake.

"Hey darlin'," I whispered to let her know I was there.

She rolled towards me.

"Hey," she replied sleepily but almost sounding like she was happy to see me. I smiled and made my way to sit on her bed next to her.

"You wanna talk tonight or just sleep and we'll talk later?" I asked quietly. Making sure to send Charlie some lethargy to keep him asleep and that helped quite his snores a little, too.

"I know we need to talk, but is it okay if we do it tomorrow. I'm really tired. And yes, I will talk when the time comes," she said with some tone. It didn't sound like she was too happy but the monotone was almost completely gone and that was good.

I looked into her eyes. I had no problem seeing in the dark and they were very tired. She almost looked ready to cry but the tears weren't there. She had so much going on, she really needed to let someone help her with it.

"Sure thing, darlin'. Do you want me to lay with ya or go sit in the chair?" I was giving her a choice hoping she'd choose me. I got my answer when she scooted to one side of the bed and rolled onto her side away from me, still clutching the teddy bear. I smiled and slipped my shoes off. I tucked her comforter around her and the bear, and settled in next to her. I pulled her close to my chest and reveled in the heat I could feel from her body even through all the layers of material. It was comforting, it was home.

I leaned in with my lips just barely touching her ear I whispered, "Sweet dreams, darlin'."

She shivered and sighed in response. She was out in no time. She did have a restless sleep but every time her heart rate picked up, I made sure to calm her immediately. I knew she usually talked in her sleep but I've been keeping her so sedated that she hasn't said a word. With the exception of last night when she slept well all on her own, she has done nothing but stir for nightmares. She shouldn't be having nightmares. She didn't have them when she was with Fuckward, so I knew it's just one more thing he took from her. Her dreams… peaceful, happy, calming, healing, dreams.

Throughout the night I snuggled her closer now and then and nuzzled her hair. Her scent was wonderful but I began to realize that the more I cared for her the more her scent didn't bother me. Don't get me wrong my throat still burned but it was just easier to ignore. My brain and body were working together to make sure I did not hurt the beautiful creature. I was pleased but knew I still had to be wary of the danger she could be in; especially, when we are both in a room with other vampires.

In the morning, I woke her up and took off to get changed and my truck. I told her I'd be back to pick her up for school. She was sleepy, so she didn't say much and went to get herself ready. When I got home Emmett was in his dark jeans and a plain black sweatshirt, just getting in his jeep to go see Bella.

"How was your night?" he asked with a smile and waggle of his eyebrows.

I shook my head. "It was good. I helped her sleep we said we'd talk today. I forgot you were on school transport duty. I told her I would be back to take her. Do you mind?" I asked. I could feel his disappointment.

"I assume since you guys are gonna want to talk you're going to want her for the afternoon, too?" he asked sadly. I thought about it. We did have a lot to discuss and breakfast and the ride school wasn't going to cover it.

I nodded at him. "I suppose we have a lot to talk about. I know you were looking forward to seein' her this mornin', Em. I could feel your excitement when I walked in and I can feel your disappointment now. So you go. I'll see her at school and I'll drive her home from school. I'll call her and let her know you're on your way instead of me. I don't want to take your time away."

He became happy immediately but then regretted it. I smiled and shook my head.

"It's okay, go." And I waved him away.

I got in the house and Rose was sitting in the living room wearing a red tank top and white yoga pants "Thank you," she said and I could feel her gratitude.

I raised my eyebrow in question. What was she thanking me for?

"You let him go; he has been looking forward to going back over there since we left last night. He was hoping you two were getting along this morning, too. By the looks of it you're doing better today than yesterday?" she commented with a smile.

I nodded. "I am. We didn't talk but we are gonna and she promised to actually talk to me," I said with a smile. I pulled out my phone and called her quickly. Then I turned my attention back to Rose. I was wary of what Bella might tell me later. I know Rose said she liked me but what did that mean? What about Newton, she was defending him and smiling when I mentioned him?

"Rose, is there anythin' else you can tell me 'bout your afternoon with Bella?" I needed to know all I could when I go to talk to her.

"Jasper, I dunno, okay. We mainly talked about you and some about your breakup with Alice. She asked about that but steered clear of Alice for the most part. I think she's interested. She mainly wanted to know if what you told her the other day was true." She looked at me with apology in her eyes and guilt dominating her emotions.

"What?" I asked not sure if I wanted to know.

She sighed and resigned herself. "She asked if you were serious about liking her and I told her yes, but that she needed to take some time for herself. She agreed that she couldn't rush into anything with you or anyone else." This wasn't necessarily bad news.

I could wait. I already felt like I was waiting an eternity and it had only been a few days.

"I can wait," I said smiling tentatively at Rose.

She returned the smile.

"Rose? Did she say she was interested in anyone else?" I felt like a high school kid asking for all the latest gossip on the girl I liked. I guess in a way that's exactly the case but it felt juvenile nonetheless.

"She didn't mention anyone but you. But like I said, we avoided all other topics. I guess her main question for you when you see her is going to be why did you come back? Or more to the point why you care now? Her other question, I had no clue what she was talking about… was why you laughed at her?" Rose looked at me questioningly with that last one.

I smiled and explained why I was laughing and happy at the whole stupid situation.

Rose smiled at me but her emotions said she was a bit upset and guilty feeling. I wasn't sure what the guilt was about. But I didn't try to understand everyone's emotions all the time. If I did I'd go insane. We chatted for the rest of the morning about Emmett and how he's handling the Bella situation. He wasn't being very open with Rose apparently and I wanted to tell her about our conversation in the jeep last night but I didn't feel like it was my place. She understood, to some degree.

Soon it was time for me to make my way to school. Bella met me outside her classroom and I noticed she wasn't the last one out today. We walked silently to the lunch room. I didn't know if we were going to get to talk much but we got our lunches and sat down at the table. Whispers surrounded us, which were all speculation on my relationship with Bella. A few even said that I had killed Newton and that's why he wasn't at school. I had to smirk at the thought.

'That's why I couldn't do it; it'd draw too much attention to me', I thought regretfully.

"So… you still mad at me?" I asked unsure how to start this. She took a bite of her mac & cheese that she got from the cafeteria, just as I was asking so I had to wait for the answer. That's fine, I can wait. She looked healthier every day, I couldn't complain. She shook her head no as she was chewing but I waited.

"Jasper, if I was still mad at you I wouldn't have let you spend the night with me last night," she whispered.

I nodded at that.

"Is there somethin' you'd like to begin talkin' about, darlin'?" I guess I was gentleman enough to let her be as comfortable as possible.

She thought for a moment.

"I guess, the quickest thing to get out of the way is what you missed when you asked why I was protecting Mike yesterday and if I liked him," she said with an almost smile. It was coming but it was slow.

'Focus! Not going to miss anything again!' I looked her straight in the eye and nodded for her to continue.

"Well, first off I'm not going to tell you what I told you yesterday because I was mad at you and I said things to hurt you. I'm glad you missed them and I'm not ever going to tell you what they were. I didn't mean them. That being said, the true answers to your questions are: I'm protecting Mike because this really was an accident." She gestured to her face with her hand.

"He has been very nice to me the last few months, and though he was attacking you, he was doing it for me. He was doing it because he was worried for me and didn't think you should be around, that you'd hurt me more." She continued to look me in the eyes and she was sitting slightly hunched over the table looking a bit tired.

I knew she slept well last night so it had to be the topic or something else that had her looking so tired. I nodded. I guess I understood how she saw it. He was just such a vile creature. But she didn't know that. She continued to look at me and her eyes sparkled and her lips twitched, the same as yesterday only more so now. I continued to look at her- I wasn't going to miss this. If this is the part where she tells me she wants to be with Newton… I held my breath; I clutched my hands together under the table to avoid breaking anything and I waited.

She gave a very small tentative looking smile, like she didn't really want to be smiling but couldn't hold it back. I would have smiled back at her if I wasn't so nervous. I waited. She took a deep breath looked around the room to make sure no one was listening and spoke.

"I don't like Mike, Jasper, never have, in that way. And well… knowing that you scared… the piss… out of him. I doubt I'll have to worry anymore about his advances anyway." It appeared she was trying hard not to laugh. It probably would hurt her face too, but I was astounded.

I was ready to leap over the table and hug her and kiss her senseless. She didn't want him. I let out the breath I was holding and loosened my hands. I reached across the table and grabbed her free hand. She ate some more in silence and let me hold her hand on top of the table. Neither of us spoke for a few minutes. And apparently she was smiling because she thought Newton peeing himself was funny. I sighed internally of course she heard that part, too. That meant she knew her Dad didn't completely disapprove either. I smiled at her while she ate.

"Can I ask a question now?" she inquired shortly before the bell rang. I nodded my head and continued to smile at her. "Why were you laughing at me yesterday?" she asked a bit embarrassed and angry. But her tone told me those things. She was feeling and she was showing it. We were finally getting somewhere.

"I was happy," I answered giving her a knowing look. "I was happy that you were comin' back to me. That you were mad and yellin' at me and tellin' me what was upsettin' you so we could work it out, and I was happy that you were wrong. You were mad at me for no reason. I wasn't fightin' your fight because you couldn't handle it and I didn't tell your Dad anythin'. I'm sorry, I know it was a bad response but I couldn't help it. I was so happy," I said smiling brightly at her.

Her hand tightened around mine and I returned the gesture. She understood and she wasn't mad. That was some of the easy stuff. We still had plenty to talk about after school. We went to gym and didn't say much. I had no reason to leave since I was driving her home, so I went to the library while she finished her last class of the day. I met her outside of her last class and noticed that a few girls gave her dirty looks. We got the books she needed for the evening and headed to her house in silence. Now, we were going to have some more difficult conversations.


	14. Chapter 14

_Chapter 14_

As we drove to her house in deafening silence I was actually glad for once I couldn't feel her emotions, my own anxiety had spiked as I thought about all the things that were to come our way. I made a list in my head of the topics we needed to cover and each new topic added to the trepidation of the afternoon. We had both small things to talk about and very large ones.

On some level, I was happy that we were going to get this stuff out of the way. I wasn't sure if we'd get it all out of the way. I wasn't sure how forthcoming she was going to be with answers but we made time and we were going to try. As we pulled up to the house the deafening silence increased when I turned the truck off. We both sat for a moment staring straight ahead nervous of what was to come. Although, I couldn't feel her emotions I knew we both dreaded this.

I got out of the truck and walked around at a human pace to help her out. I wondered where we should sit to do this, when we got inside. The kitchen seemed formal, the living room seemed informal and her bedroom seemed intimate. I think she was wondering the same thing because she was looking around also.

"So where to?" I asked her, in as light a tone as I could.

She thought about it for minute and eventually nodded her head towards the stairs. I gave her a poignant look. We weren't starting the silent treatment already.

"Upstairs?" she asked quietly in return.

I nodded my head and chuckled silently because I didn't answer. Not everything has to be verbal but in her case it needs to be, at least for a while.

We made our way to her to bare room and took our shoes off to sit on the bed. She put her books down on the desk and joined me a second later. She sat cross-legged leaning on the headboard and she grabbed her teddy bear and pulled him into her chest. I sat in a similar position across from her at the bottom of the bed.

"So… where do you want to start?" I asked, trying not to sound as nervous as I truly was. I was going to get information I knew I didn't want to hear. No matter how much I knew I needed to hear it in order to help her.

She looked at me stoically when I asked but as she processed the question her eyes began to dim and the hollowness was creeping back in, she was beginning to look through me. Damn, I hate that but on some level I knew that was going to happen today, because it's how she dealt with her feelings. I wasn't going to give her a hard time about it as long as she talked to me. I'd panic later, if she didn't come back out of it when we were done.

"Bella?" I asked letting her know I was waiting for an answer since it had been about 2 minutes since I asked the question.

"Where ever Jasper, I have questions too though," she said flatly.

I nodded my head.

I thought I'd try to start with something not quite so bad and work up to the big stuff. With a deep breath I began the inquisition. I'm sure this was just as painful for her as that.

"Okay… how about, you flinched when we were at the bookstore buying your book. Why?"

She sighed. " _That_ 's what you want to know?" she asked a little surprised but still flat.

I just nodded my head.

"I thought we'd start with something small," I stated, letting her know my plan was to get into bigger issues as we went.

She shook her head slightly. "She was hitting on you and I just thought it was disgusting that she was so obvious, especially when you were with me. Not that we are together but she didn't know that."

So was she jealous? My heavy heart jumped into my throat for a second at that thought. I almost wished she was jealous. But that couldn't be, that was my first day with her.

I looked at her for a second, I didn't really want to push that topic, it's not why we were here. I decided to let it go for now and move on.

"Why aren't you talkin' to anyone?" I asked honestly curious. I figured this might be a bit safer topic. Of course, I'm always wrong when it comes to Bella and I just opened a big can of worms.

"People don't need to waste their time talking to me. I have nothing to say anyway," she answered, back to her full monotone. She answered, she looked through me. It was like talking to a robot.

"What?" Was all I could muster at that moment. I couldn't believe she thought so little of herself. She ignored my squeak of a question.

"Bella, you pushed everyone away because you wouldn' talk to 'em. They thought you were worth talkin' to. I think you're worth talkin' to. Why? Why would you think that? Your boyfriend broke up with you, darlin'. I understand bein' depressed but other people 'sides him care 'bout you," I rambled a bit but I was just astounded at the shit spewing forth from her mouth and she had barely said anything.

This conversation was going to get heavy quickly and this is not what I wanted, but we needed to get it out of the way.

"There's nothing special about me, I'm not good enough for anyone, especially _him,_ " she stated quietly without inflection. She was answering but shit I hoped I didn't lose her, this was dangerous and I knew it.

The distance between us was too much. I just wanted her to be better. I got up on my knees and then crawled up next her. She didn't move to make room for me. She was already more gone than here. I was very worried.

I picked her up again and scooted under her to set her in my lap. She made no comment, no move to leave. Rag doll. I wrapped my arms around her and her bear that she still clutched against her chest and just held her for a moment. I leaned up against the headboard and pulled her so she was leaning back into me, her head off to the right side of my face and I could smell her strawberry shampoo. Always strawberry. I just held her. I couldn't talk.

This beautiful woman wanted to die, she wanted to be invisible, and she thought she was a waste of other people's time. I just didn't know what to do. I couldn't just tell her I was falling in love with her, she wouldn't believe me anyway at this point. I hadn't even been here a week. It was the end of January and it'd only been four months since all the shit hit the proverbial fan, but so much was different. I just wanted to fix it. I squeezed her a little more into me, just as much for my comfort as hers. I had to have her in my arms, always. I wanted to sit and argue all the good things about her, but again she probably wouldn't believe me.

How do you change someone's mind that is as stubborn and broken as Bella? I just held her. Time was passing and I didn't know what to do. With her head so close to my mouth there were two things I

wanted to do. I wanted to kiss and lick her ear and I wanted to argue with her. Arguing was going to get me nowhere and I doubt the ear thing was going to me anywhere either.

I don't know what came over me at that moment it was like I was possessed; like I had no control. I couldn't stop it and it was going to be a train wreck. I let myself fall into the fantasy that I was trying to stifle. I let myself think about pulling her into my chest and running my tongue along the shell of her warm ear, nuzzling and licking her neck. I felt the heat of her pulse at my lips and on my tongue as I stroked her neck with my taste buds, tasting her skin. I thought of turning her in my lap so I could kiss her deeply and feel the heat of her mouth scorching mine, running my fingers through her hair.

'I am a gentleman, I am a gentleman, I am a gentleman,' I repeated silently to myself trying to calm myself down from the situation I just put myself in.

I think it was too late. She noticed, she wiggled just a little bit but it was enough for her to rub directly on my self-imposed erection and she froze. She went rigid in my lap but made no move to leave. Not that I would have let her, maybe that's why she didn't try. So I did the next best thing. I made sure there was no question as to what I was thinking about. But I knew I should have thought about it a little bit more.

I leaned my head down and whispered as sexy as I could in her ear, "Some of us think you are very special and attractive. You aren't good enough for _him_ no matter what _he_ said. You _are_ worth my time and I would gladly spend forever listening to you talk."

To punctuate my words I very slowly and lightly drug my lips up the shell of her ear adding a little cool breath as I went and simultaneously pulled her tighter to rub on my denim clad erection for just a moment. She shivered. I couldn't help but smile a bit at her reaction.

When I gave her some slack again she was still stiff as a board. She didn't move, didn't speak, and didn't respond. And the longer we sat there quietly, the more I realized what I just did.

'OH GOD! Emmett's gonna kill me!'

I said I wouldn't hurt her, wouldn't move too fast. Isn't this the opposite of that? I just rubbed my dick on a woman who is completely broken. Face, mind, and heart.

"Oh God! Bella? Bella? I'm sorry!" I stated like a scared little kid.

She took a deep breath. That was good, I think. Was she going to say something? Please, Please don't tell me to leave. I dropped my arms completely from around her. She stayed still. Finally, she let out the breath and slowly moved out of my lap. I wanted to cry, again, for the major fuck up I just caused. When she was clear of my lap I jumped off the bed and quickly adjusted myself. Fear was quickly willing my erection away but I was still uncomfortable. I couldn't believe I had done that!

I looked at her. Her face was blank and when she realized I had moved she returned to her original prone position on the bed. The way her father said she spent most of her days, staring at/through the ceiling.

'SHIT!'

I kneeled down next to the bed by her head.

"Bella? I'm sorry, please say somethin', darlin'. I'm sorry. I got carried away," I pleaded with her.

"So," she said quietly and I waited. She wasn't completely lost to me, yet.

I didn't need to breath and I didn't. I was literally holding my breath for what she was about to say.

She stayed staring at the ceiling as she continued.

"So… you have a _use_ for me too? Is that it?" she asked quietly in her monotone, but she still managed to emphasize the word use.

And I knew.

'Oh Shit!'

Did I know. No wonder Rose was feeling guilty earlier. She told her about the Mike thing, all about it apparently. Even though she said they didn't talk about him. And Bella, she just compared me to him!

"So Rose told you? She told you about that vile disgusting creature? And you're gonna _compare_ ME to HIM!?" I began calmly but was yelling by end of my sentence.

I was back on my feet and began pacing next to the bed. She didn't react. She's in the room with an angry vampire and she doesn't even react. Maybe she really did have a death wish. Maybe I should just help her out. She said she was willing.

I stalked over to the bed. I climbed on top of her straddling her hips on my knees with my hands on both sides of her head. She still didn't look at me, she looked through me and I knew my eyes were black. Black with anger, not thirst.

"Do you really have a death wish, Bella? To compare me to that THING! Do you not understand that I have opened myself up to you time and again in the last 4 days? Have you not heard anything I've said to you?" I spoke through mostly gritted teeth.

She was breaking my heart because she thought I was no better than Newton! Did she even care?

"Well, isn't that what all guys want? Isn't that all we're good for? And _he_ had to leave 'cause I wasn't even good enough for that with _him_ ," she stated it flatly and matter-of-factly like a stock market quote. It was a fact.

I was pissed. Who convinced her of this Rose? I knew Rose is not a real big fan of men in general. But I never thought I'd be lumped into that category. Once upon a time, yes, but I haven't been that way for almost a century.

"So what, Bella? Because I like you, I must just want to _use_ you for sex? I can't like all of you? Your mind as well as your body? And let me tell you something else. I didn't do that just now 'cause I thought I was gonna get sex out of it. I did it to show you the effect you have on me. That just 'cause Fuckward didn't have the balls to touch you doesn' mean that you aren't desirable. Even as you are now, which honestly, baby, isn't in the best shape. You're extremely skinny and look horribly breakable, not to mention the two black eyes and broken nose. You look through people not at them and you don' even care how much you hurt those of us who DO CARE ABOUT YOU!" I may have lost it a bit in the end. But she needed to see sense.

She didn't say anything, didn't react.

'GOD! HOW DOES SHE DO THAT?'

I just stared at her. I needed to regain my cool and it wasn't working. I needed to fix this but it just kept getting more screwed up. About 5 minutes later. She turned her head to face the window. Well isn't that just dandy. Now her neck is all exposed for me. So what is this?

"Bella, are you offerin' me dinner, your body, or do you just not wanna look at my ugly mug anymore?" I tried to put some humor in there but I really wasn't feelin' it, I was still pissed.

I was pissed at myself for the fuckery I had caused, I was pissed at Fuckward for the complete and utter damage he had caused, and if Rose had anything to do with this shit I'm gonna be pissed at her. Most of all, if I didn't fix this I was gonna have to let Emmett burn me to a crisp and I'm not too happy about that either.

"Bella, I want an answer," I prompted her with a bit of a growl in my voice. She turned her head back to look at me. This was progress. Her eyes sparked. Emotion. She just wasn't going to let me know what it was.

"Take whatever you want Jasper and then leave me alone," she replied blandly, turning her head back to the side again. I thought about it. I can't even believe I thought about it.

"SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!" I yelled as I jumped off the bed. "FUCK! Bella! Knock this shit off! Snap out of it! Quit cutting on yourself and quit acting like you have nothing to live for because some asshole dumped you!" I yelled at her. Coherent thought long gone it would seem.

"I haven't cut myself since before you got here," she said solemnly to the ceiling. Well damn, I'm having a dead man's heart attack and freaking out over here and she's just as cool as cucumber lying on her bed. I sent her my anger.

"Now you're lying?! You're lying to me? I can smell the blood, Bella. I can smell the antiseptic cream you used on it afterwards. Are you telling me you didn't hurt yourself? Are you really trying to lie to me?" I rushed out my words. I can't believe her!

She responded quicker this time. "What?" she asked.

Fine she wants to play that way, I walked over and started smelling. I was going to show her what I was talking about. I didn't have to go far. It was on her leg. I raised the leg of her blue jeans and she followed me with her eyes. I found the band-aid that I smelled earlier. It wasn't a big band-aid a small rectangle with a good size dot of blood but more important, I knew it wasn't her cutting herself on purpose.

Oh crap I fucked up again. "Oh." Was all I could say.

I put her pant leg back down and sat next to her legs on the edge of the bed. I scrubbed my face with my hands. I think I'm actually getting tired here, and I'm definitely depressed and angry.

"Bella, I'm sorry I smelled the blood this morning and thought the worst. I'm glad you didn't hurt yourself on purpose. Do you understand at all how much I care?" I spoke to the floor as I looked through my arms that rested on my knees. This is not how this was supposed to go. This is not what I wanted to happen today.

I think I needed to take a step back. If I wouldn't continually sit with her in my lap, what just happened wouldn't have. I wouldn't have been compared to Newton. And she wouldn't be almost completely closed off from me. I wish we got do-overs in life. I get to continue on and never forget all the fuck-ups in my life. Bella will pass away and be nothing more than a memory, eventually. I was depressing myself. She told me to take what I wanted and leave. Does that mean she wants me to go now?

"Bella? Did you want me to leave? I told you I'll only leave if you tell me to. I want to be here with you. And I'm sorry about earlier, really. I got carried away. Please? I don't want to go," I pleaded quietly with the floor.

I was so wrapped up in my own misery I didn't feel her move. I'm a vampire for crying out loud, she should not be able to sneak up on me. But she did. Her hand landed on my shoulder and I jumped and growled at her. I didn't mean it. It was just a natural reaction. She didn't even flinch she left her hand on my shoulder and waited for me to relax a bit. I looked into her eyes. They were vacant but not completely. Not like they were a few minutes ago.

I should be happy on some level because she approached me, but I dreaded her words. I was dreading her telling me to leave. To go forever, leave her be. We looked into each other's eyes for a while before she spoke. Mine were pleading silently for any forgiveness or acceptance, anything but revulsion or hatred, something I truly deserved.

"Sorry," she said quietly, but with feeling.

I wasn't sure what she was apologizing for? Sorry, she wants me to leave? Sorry, she compared me to Newton? Sorry, for something I don't understand or know about? I'm sure my face gave away my confusion because my voice wasn't working.

She took a deep breath and with it I expected the blow; the one that told me to leave.

"Go," she whispered softly.

My heart broke. I couldn't believe she was telling me to go. She didn't want me around. I knew I wasn't good enough for her, but I wondered if she was sending me away because she thought I was like _him_ or Newton? This couldn't be happening. I couldn't accept this. She had returned to lying back on the bed hugging her teddy bear as if I wasn't in the room. Waiting for me to leave. Waiting to continue living without being alive.

Charlie said he thought she was waiting for Fuckward to return. Was she really? Is that why she's turning me away because I wasn't _him_? I have more questions now than ever before and she told me to leave. I'm fucking pissed and heartbroken and for some reason hating that damn teddy bear right now! She loved that teddy bear more than me. Emmett? Emmett gave her the bear. She loved him more. I'd give her anything and she was content to toss me out and keep a fucking bear!

There was something I could offer her. Something I'm sure will seal my fate with her. Something that would _make_ me leave.

"Bella," I whispered because that's all I was capable of. "I'll go. I don't want to, but I will because you asked me to. Before I go though." I turned to look at her and she continued to ignore me. I wanted to see what her reaction would be. So I studied her carefully as I spoke my next words calmly. "Before I go, do you want me to call Edward for you?"

Yep I said his name.

I wanted to know if she wanted _him_ here. If that's what she was truly waiting for. I wanted to know, if she was going to freak out and scream at the mention of _his_ name. And I got one answer right away. She didn't do anything. She didn't freak out; she didn't react, hardly at all. I saw her body tense slightly, her eyes flashed again, but she didn't do anything else. What did that mean? 5 days ago I said _his_ name and she went nuts. Now she was no different than any other time. I think that's good in some ways. I think. But what did it mean?

I waited. I watched her. I wasn't going to cry again, though I felt like someone ripped me apart from the inside as I sat there quietly watching her.

"He left. No matter what you say he left, he didn't want me. He told me so. He told me I was no good for him. He told me he was tired of pretending to be something he wasn't. He isn't human, I am. I'm not good enough to be with someone like him. He made me promise not to do anything stupid, but he didn't really care. He's gone. He said, he was easily distracted to help forget about me and I'd just forget about him, that because I was human my mind is a sieve. He took my birthday gifts, he took the pictures.


	15. Chapter 15

_Chapter 15_

As I drove home I couldn't believe how the afternoon went. It was not what I planned at all. It proved several things to me also. I loved Bella Swan. I was gonna mutilate Fuckward Cullen, slowly. And I would always be there for Bella no matter what she said. I took my time going home, I wasn't sure what I was going to tell Emmett and Rose when I got there.

They were going to grill me. I knew it. They were going to want to know how the talk went. They of course were going to want to know if she was better or worse afterwards. They were also going to want to know about the cutting issues, what Fuckward said to her, and everything I did. What I did.

'Oh God!'

I don't know how I'm going to tell them the whole story without being murdered in the process.

I got home all too soon and I knew I was going to have to face the music. I felt myself get out of the truck and walk slowly towards the home. It would be appropriate if a dirge was playing as I made it to the front door. I didn't hear it but I really expected to. I could hear Emmett playing Xbox and Rose in their room. I decided the talk could wait a while.

I made my way into the house past Emmett and his hollering asking how things went and what was wrong. I went to my room as Rose came out with the same questions. I went in the bathroom and slowly peeled off my t-shirt and jeans. Emmett and Rose were in my room asking each other what happened?

And then directed their questioning at me. I ignored them. I didn't listen to them. I didn't want to hear them. I needed time to myself.

Emmett finally asked suspiciously, "Do I need to go talk to Bella to find out what's going on?"

Though I didn't want to hear their questions I heard this one and I'm glad I did.

"No. Jus' give me a few to git cleaned up and then we'll talk, m'kay?" I responded with a tired lazy accent.

They mumbled their assent and left. I turned the hot water on and got in the shower.

I didn't really need a shower I just needed the excuse to get away from them. To give myself sometime to realize what I had done. How I had ruined my relationship with Bella because I couldn't control my hormones, my feelings, whatever was going on with me. I couldn't control it. I needed to come up with a game plan too, to explain this all correctly to the waiting vampires downstairs, whose curiosity, worry, and nervousness were making me jumpy.

I washed thoroughly noticing all the scars on my body. I already felt bad, this was not helping. Looking at all the crescent bite marks that covered every inch of my body from some newborn or another. Mostly the ones I trained not even the ones I fought. Those were dark days for me and yet they don't seem to compare to today. To have Bella ask me to leave. Bloodlust and fighting for territories, controlling 20, 30 sometimes as many as 50 newborn vampires was nothing compared to this. For all the scars on my body the invisible one on my heart was the worst.

I did my best not to break down in the shower. I pulled myself together and eventually decided to get this over with. The water had turned cold while I showered and perused the raised marks on my body. No matter how tone and beautiful we looked as vampires these marks would forever make me ugly. I was glad Bella hadn't noticed them. If she looked hard enough she would. She'd be just as disgusted as everyone else, if not terrified of me. Once she learned who I truly was. I may have "retired" from that life but it was who I am. I was a Major and still feared and revered throughout the Americas for my participation in the Vampire Wars of the South.

All that hype however didn't mean that I wasn't scared to go down those stairs and tell Emmett that I broke his little sister again. Worse even, maybe? I dunno. I wrapped a towel around my waist and went to my closet. Black seemed appropriate for the occasion. I pulled out a pair of black jeans that fit my hips snugly, Alice used to say they showed off my ass well and I decided to pair that with a black button down over a white undershirt. Screw fiddling with boxers, I deserved to be uncomfortable.

I got dressed and found an old pair of black cowboy boots to top off the outfit. I think I dug them out so that I could burn in style. I was glad Emmett couldn't hear my thoughts. I wouldn't have lived this long. I hesitated at the bedroom door. Holding the brass knob and staring at my boots I tried to stifle my misery so I could go downstairs. They waited with quite anticipation. I took a deep unneeded breath and turned the knob.

When I got down stairs they were both sitting on the sofa facing me. I nodded my hello to them and ran my hand through my wet hair as I made my way to a cream plush chair across from them. The television was off, Emmett's game forgotten and they were sitting like statues side by side on the white leather sofa. I took my seat and looked them straight in the eye. I sighed and looked towards the ground.

"What happened, Jazz?" Emmett asked scared, worried, and nervous.

I looked up again at them and raked my hand through my hair again, catching the water and throwing it off to the side. I shook my head knowing this wasn't going to go well. I looked back down. I couldn't look at him and tell him what happened. Shit, I couldn't even look in the mirror.

"It didn't go well," I said quietly.

Both of them became extremely worried and anger was starting to creep in from Emmett. I knew he was going to fly off the handle. I wasn't sure how to stop it. I'm not sure I want to stop it.

"Emmett, before you kill me, please you have to hear the whole story," I said morosely and I carefully raised my head enough to see his reaction to my words.

His anger spiked and he jumped to his feet. Rose grabbed his arm and he shook her off.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?" he yelled as he stalked towards me vibrating with fury. He grabbed me by the neck and pulled me up. I didn't fight, I didn't flinch. I was the rag doll this time.

He shook me vigorously yelling repeatedly, "WHAT DID YOU DO? DID YOU HURT HER? I'LL KILL YOU IF YOU HURT HER!"

Rose was grappling at his arms trying to pull him off of me, terrified. I'm not sure if she was scared of him or scared for me, but by the look on her face I'd guess it was scared for me. I doubt either of us had ever seen Emmett this enraged. He continued to shake me and squeeze my neck and I couldn't find it in me to try to stop him. I didn't calm him down, I didn't say a word. I deserved everything. I fucked up repeatedly with Bella and I deserved some sort of punishment.

What seemed like an eternity later, in reality only amounting to about 5 minutes or so. Emmett calmed down enough to let go of me without causing serious damage to anything but the wall he repeatedly hit me against. It didn't even hurt. Well his grip did but the wall didn't. He got out his frustrations and Rose moved him away from me. I slumped on the floor and just sat there staring at the grain of the wood.

When he was capable of coherent thought Emmett returned to the sofa and Rosalie came for me. She didn't ask she just grabbed my arm and yanked me to my feet. She was mad, scared, and worried.

"Now that we are all done with that shit, would you mind telling us what's going on, Jazz? You weren't even fighting Emmett, so I know it can't be good." Her tone relayed her worry and anger.

I looked up at her and her face was creased with worry. Even her beauty seemed to diminish a bit. I looked over at Emmett who was sitting on the sofa resting his elbows on his knees and his head in his

hands. It's a human position but his despair and fury went well with it. I made my way back to the chair to begin again. I straightened my shirt a bit and sat down. Looking at the floor, I could barely talk my own misery consuming me.

"I'm sorry." Was all I could get out and it was in a whisper.

"What does that mean?" Rose asked and Emmett got scared.

I tried to pull myself together silently so I could relay what happened. I looked back and forth between them and I could feel their fear, concern, and worry as I began to speak.

"We got to the house, decided to go to her room and talk. We had barely started and I couldn't stand to have her so far away. I picked her up and put her in my lap." I looked up and they were blank, waiting to see where the fuck up began and ended.

I really didn't want to tell them what I did. I just couldn't, I was too embarrassed and upset but they needed some sort of idea to understand.

"I… well… I got a little too friendly… while she… was sitting… there. Please…" I held my hand up to stop questions, "Please… don't ask… in short I… hit… on… her… and she went off on me. She compared me to Newton… and I got mad. Apparently, she knew all about what he said."

I gave Rose a knowing look and her guilt spiked. She looked away and Emmett just stared, waiting.

I continued, "I did apologize profusely but she didn't care. She asked me to go and I offered to call Fuckward for her."

They both gasped at that.

I shook my head at them to let them know it didn't happen. And they settled a little.

"I offered because I thought maybe she was waiting for him to return and that's why she rejected me," I stated sadly.

"Jasper, she's not in any-" I held my hand up again and Rose stopped short.

"I know. She's not ready. Doesn't mean I was thinking coherently at the time. No excuse, I know. But please, I have more to say." I looked to both of them and slowly they each nodded their heads for me to continue. The trepidation in the room was stifling.

I was barely speaking above a whisper but I went on to tell them that she wasn't self-harming and the mistake I made there. Then I told them everything she had told me about Fuckward.

Yep, got the reactions I was expecting with that one. Esme's going to be pissed. And well Fuckward, he'll be playing the piano from now on, outside. Since that's where it landed when Emmett threw it through the window. He didn't yell or scream. He calmly walked over to it, picked it up, and tossed it. His anger was so strong, I wished for a second piano to throw. Rosalie, she started crying, tearless sobs shook her

body as she watched Emmett toss the piano like a baseball in a light game of catch, of course the window didn't catch it, but Esme's garden did.

With glass scattered everywhere and Emmett's fury pushing him on, Rose was frozen on the sofa where Emmett had left her. She had a longing for comfort and I was unable to help her at all. Emmett stared out the window for an hour before he was calm enough to return to the sofa with Rosalie and she didn't dare go near him. When I was able to regain control of myself and emotions I sent Rose some calm but left Emmett alone. I didn't want to risk infuriating him more by trying to manipulate his emotions. He was livid and he had every right to be.

No one said anything after I told them about Fuckward's, 'display of affection for the one he loved'. We sat almost the whole night in silence. But there was more to tell.

"When she was done," I whispered barely able to think what had happened let alone get the words out. "When she was done… after I was running around her room livid. Not even as livid as Em just was but angry all the same. I asked her if she still wanted me to go."

I swallowed hard as I let them know this information.

"I told her I wouldn't leave unless she told me to go. And she looked me square in the eye and told me to go."

I looked at them with utter sadness in my eyes. I'm sure they knew that was the case because I was home. I wasn't going back to help her sleep and it was the middle of the night. I wasn't sure what to do about school the next day.

Rose came over and settled in my lap hugging me tightly, trying to comfort me, but it was too reminiscent of Bella doing the same thing. It hurt more. I began to cry. And Rose bless her began to cry with me. Emmett just sat there staring at us. Confusion, worry, anger, and mostly fear were coming from him. I wasn't sure what the fear was about but I had a good idea. If Bella sent me away, would she send him away, too? I couldn't blame him. All I could do was hope that I didn't screw things up for him too.

When I finished crying and I obviously didn't care who knew I was crying. I sat hugging Rosalie. I held on to her for dear life. I think I was probably squishing her but she never said a thing. She just let me and I was grateful. Emmett didn't say anything either. I think he understood to some degree. He had his own inner turmoil to deal with.

Closer to dawn Emmett finally spoke. With one question and his hope was increasing. "Should I still go over to take her to school this morning?"

I had spent a lot of time thinking about this one.

"Technically, she kicked me out. She said nothin' about either of you, so yeah, I'd go. We can't lose her and even though she told me to leave the house I'm not leavin' town. And I have to finish school, now." I

nodded my head as I continued to talk, like a bobble head doll. "I'm not givin' up," I stated with confidence, though I didn't feel it.

The icy glare she gave me as she asked me to leave pretty much threw me for a loop. I didn't know she could have that much hatred in her. She almost looked like a vampire and the bruising on her face actually added to the intimidation. She had an air about her at that moment that said she could take care of herself. Maybe that's where we were going wrong. Maybe she didn't need to be babied as much as we have been. I know I wasn't trying to, but always needing to hold her also brought forth the protective instinct.

I looked toward Emmett who was full of nervous anticipation and hatred. I had a feeling that the hatred wasn't going to disappear anytime soon. It was now Thursday morning and Emmett was going to get Bella. I could only pray she didn't send him away. I had to admit I was surprised he didn't kill me. I thought his murderous rage was better directed towards Fuckward but I was still shocked.

Rose and I waited with baited breath for Emmett to return with news of Bella. If, she let him drive her to school. What she said about the confrontation, how she looked, if she ate. He was gone long enough it was easy to surmise that he hadn't been immediately kicked out but when school started and he still hadn't returned we began to worry. What did that mean? Did she not go to school? Did he stay with her? Did he go someplace else? What's going on? Rose and I sat and silently worried. I knew I wanted to call him but I was worried I'd cause an upset with a ringing phone. I'd guess Rose was of the same thought. We sat across from each other, much the way we had the night before, and stared into each other's golden eyes. Complete with worry etched on our faces.

As it got closer to lunch time I was planning on going to sit with her whether she wanted me to or not but Emmett had yet to return. I finally pulled my phone out and stared at it. Rose quietly patted the seat cushion next to her on the sofa. I changed seats and we cuddled in close together to comfort one another and braced ourselves for the phone call I was about to make. Emmett answered on the first ring.

"What's up, dude?" he said without much tone. Well he wasn't his normal happy self that much was already apparent.

Rose and I glanced at each other.

"Hey Em, we were wonderin' if everythin' is okay? You never came home," I said quietly not sure that I wanted the answer.

He paused briefly before answering, "She's not doin' good, man. Won't come out of her room. Hasn't eaten since lunch yesterday with you. I'm here with Charlie trying to convince her to go to school or at least get up and eat. He said she's almost like she was before but this time she's talking. Err… well… she's not talking so much as she's cussing us out." He was solemn and I could hear the worry.

I really almost wanted to laugh at his last statement, that she was cussing them out. She was a little firecracker that one. But I was so devastated that she hadn't done anything since I left. Rose and I looked at each other, neither of us knowing what to say.

"And dude, Charlie says the nightmares are back. She didn't sleep hardly at all so consequently neither did he. He still hasn't gone to work. She's up there now rippin' him another new one as he's askin' her to eat something." Emmett tried to sound humorous but it wasn't working.

"This is Bull Shit!" I all but yelled into the air.

Rose looked taken aback. Emmett stayed quiet.

"I'm coming over there, Em'," I said, not looking for acknowledgement or approval. Rose continued to look at me but pride, hope, and worry were her emotions so she was hoping that this would work, whatever I did. If she wants to yell fine. She could yell at me.

When I got to the Swan residence I walked right in. I didn't knock or anything. Of course they probably heard my truck and Emmett knew I was coming. I don't know if he told them. I saw him and Charlie sitting in the living room and Charlie gaped at me. Emmett looked worried but his confidence in me helped.

I nodded and said, "Hey" as I stalked passed them and up to Bella's room. Charlie was scared and worried but he didn't say anything.

I got to her door and it was open, she was laying face up staring at the ceiling again and still hugging her teddy bear, she was wearing the same jeans and sweatshirt she had on yesterday so I surmised nothing changed after I left. Her tear streaked face was void of emotion and her eyes vacant. I tried to go for subtle.

"Get up!" I growled at her.

She slowly turned her head to look at me and anger crossed her face.

"No," she said firmly.

"Get out of that bed, Now!"I growled at her again.

Her eyes still trained on mine full of life and full of fire. She responded, "No," again.

I reached down I picked her up throwing her over my shoulder like the day before and marched down to the kitchen. Charlie and Emmett stared with awe.

I put her in her chair at the kitchen table and pointed to the bowl of oatmeal on the table.

"Eat," I commanded.

"Get the fuck out of my house, you asshole," she growled back at me between gritted teeth.

"Such language is unbecoming of a lady. Now. Eat," I said, I started sweetly and ended similarly to her own tone.

She glared at me. I didn't care. She was getting better even if no one thought so. She was responding albeit with curses, she had life in her eyes, fire to be exact, and she would eat and go to school.

"Go Away you… you… Son of a Bitch!" she nearly yelled at me.

I could hear Charlie asking Emmett if they should intervene. Emmett kindly told him to give me a minute and explained that we had a "fight" yesterday.

"Listen little girl, grow up! The world doesn't stop when someone dies and it sure as hell isn' gonna stop 'cause you're ticked at me or heartbroken 'cause of some asshole! Now take care of yourself cause we can't do it for you, you eat, you shower, and then we are gonna go to school and I am not lettin' you outta my sight for one minute," I finished my tirade menacingly and glared straight into her brown eyes swimming with heat and emotion. It was a beautiful sight.

And I saw the moment she understood just what I said as her eyes got big. I smirked at her.

"You heard me right, darlin'. I will not let you hurt yourself because you're being a rebellious brat," I whispered strongly to her, making sure Charlie wouldn't be able to hear.

"Now eat your breakfast and tell your Dad he can git to work, 'cause you don't need him to be a babysitter, do ya, darlin'?" I drawled with an increasing smirk.

She continued to try to stare me down but her head wasn't in the same place it had been. She couldn't hold the stare.

"Get out," she stated quietly and looked away.

I shook my head. "Not happenin', darlin'," I returned her tone.

"You said you'd leave if I told you to and you did. Why did you come back?" she asked in a tired voice and looked at me with defeated eyes.

Good now we were getting somewhere. She looked back down at her lap when she was finished talking. I knelt before her and gently grabbed her chin for her to look at me.

"You told me to leave but you didn't really want me to, did you?" I asked quietly with earnestness. Charlie and Emmett continued to listen from the living room and worry but neither intervened.

She looked at me with big sad eyes as they pooled with tears. "No," she choked out.

I pulled her into me and hugged her tightly but carefully.

"You had a bad night because I wasn't here, huh?" I asked already knowing the answer.

She just nodded into my shirt.

"Why Bella? Why did you tell me to go?" I asked her, pleading for an answer.

She shook her head again and began crying. I just held her and Charlie and Emmett finally made their appearance at the entrance to the kitchen to watch me comfort her.

"She'll be okay, Charlie. I'll take care of her," I said as I looked over at him briefly.

She pulled back a little and sniffled, I turned to look at her as she looked me in the eyes. I'm not sure what she was looking for but I think she found it. I finished my statement to Charlie looking directly at her.

"I promise," I stated with sincerity and I sent that feeling out to the room.

Charlie nodded and looked at Emmett. "I guess… I'll be going then. You boys take care of her." He walked over us and leaned in. He kissed her on the head and made his way out of the house.

"Now eat," I said encouragingly, nodding towards her food.

"Then we'll shower," I said with a devilish smirk and she stiffened in my arms looking at me with wide eyes.

Emmett was letting off humor but didn't say anything and stood statuesque where he was.


End file.
